🚀 go-pugleaf

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Here are the results of
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THE BEST POEM OF ALL TIME
INTERNATIIONAL POETRY CONTEST.
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The runner-up is
BILL SHAKESPEARE
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Bill's submission is entiitled:
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> ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE
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All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
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William "Willie" Shakespeare
Stratford-Upon-Avon, England
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================
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AND THE WINNER IS:
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Ed Conrad
Chenadough, Pa.
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His brilliant submission, with photo, is entitled:
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> ED CONRAD VS. THE SCIENTIFIC ESTABLISHMENT
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Ed's dead, you said!
I hope it's true!
It's time for celebration.
He's squeezed our balls ,
'Til black and blue ,
And I've run out of medication.
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http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d4/Scrotum_by_David_Shankbone.jpg
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For more great poetry, call up:
http://www.edconrad.com
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> WORLD'S LARGEST NEWSPAPERS


Rank           Country                  Circulation
1. Yomiuri Shimbun (Japan)       14,532,694
2. Asahi Shimbun (Japan)           12,601,375
3. Sichuan Ribao (China)               8,000,000
4. Mainichi Shimbun (Japan)         5,845,857
5. Bild (Germany)                             5,674,400
6. Chunichi Shimbun (Japan)       4,323,144
7. Sun (England)                              3,718,354
8. Renmin Ribao (China)               3,000,000
9. Sankei Shimbun (Japan)           2,890,835
10. Nihon Keizai Shimbun Japan 2,705,877
11. Gongren Ribao (China)           2,500,000
12. Daily Mail (England)                 2,387,867
13. Daily Mirror (England)              2,339,001
14. Chosun Ilbo (South Korea)     2,225,000
15. Dong-A Ilbo (South Korea)      2,150,000
16. Hokkaido Shimbun (Japan)    1,962,666
17. Eleftherotypia (Greece)            1,858,316
18. Xin Min Wan Bao (China)        1,750,000
19. Wall Street Journal (U.S.)        1,740,450
20. Yangcheng Wanbao China     1,730,000
21. Kerala Kaumudi (India)           1,720,000
22. Wen Hui Bao Daily (China      1,700,000
23. USA Today (United States)     1,653,428
24. Joong-Ang Ilbo (S. Korea)       1,550,000
25. Economic Daily (China)           1,500,000
26. Rodong Sinmun (N. Korea)    1,500,000
27. Kyung-Hyang Daily News        1,478,537
28. Sports Nippon (Japan)             1,452,699
29. Shizuoka Shimbun (Japan))    1,442,310
30. Sankei Sports (Japan)              1,367,734
31. Deutche Allgemeine Germ      1,313,400
32. United Daily News (Taiwan )  1,300,000
33. China Times (Taiwan)             1,270,000
34. O Estado de Sao Paulo Brazil) 1,230,160
35. Jang Daily (Pakistan)               1,200,000
36. Jang Lahore (Pakistan)           1,200,000
37. Akhbar El Yom/Al Akhbar (Egypt) 1,159,339
38. Hankook Ilbo (South Korea)   1,156,000
39. Hochi Shimbun (Japan)          1,119,031
40. Daily Express (England)          1,118,981
41. Los Angeles Times (U.S.)       1,067,540
42. New York Times (U>S)            1,066,540
43. Tokyo Shimbun (Japan            1,062,080
44. Daily Telegraph (England)       1,047,861
45. Nishinippon Shimbun Japan  1,041,104
46. Jiefang Ribao (China)              1,000,000
47. Nanfang Ribao (China)            1,000,000
48. Nongmin Ribao (China)           1,000,000
49. Zhongguo Qingnian Ribao (China) 1,000,000
50. Nikkan Sports (Japan)                984,058
51. Al Akhbar (Egypt)                          980,000
52. Guangming Ribao (China)        950,000
53. Al Ahram (Egypt)                          900,000
54. Al Goumhouriya (Egypt)             900,000
55. Seoul Shinmun (S. Korea)        900,000
56. Xin Hua Ribao (China)               900,000
57. Verdens Gang (Norway)            870,267
58. Corriere della Sera (Italy)          868,266
59. Kyoto Shimbun (Japan)             839,499
60. Chugoku Shimbun (Japan)      820,000
61  Kobe Shimbun  Japan               820,000
62. Times of India (India)                 813,000
63. Kobe Shimbun (Japan)             810,353
64. Beijing Wanbao (China)            800,000
65. Hubei Ribao (China)                  800,000
66. Jiefangjun Ribao (China)          800,000
67. Trybuna Slaska (Poland)          800,000
68. La Gazzetta dello Sport Italy     798,243
69. Ouest-France (France)             790,133
70. Holos Ukrainy (Ukraine)           768,000
71. The Times (England)                766,999
72. ABC (Spain)                                765,668
73. Washington Post (U.SSS>)     759,122
74. La Repubblica (Italy)                 754,930
75. De Telegraf (Netherlands)       751,400
76. Gazeta Wyborcza (Poland)       750,000
77. Zero Hora (Brazil)                       727,188
78. Diario dos Campos (Brazil)     725,000
79. New York Daily News (U.S.)    723,143
80. Sabah (Turkey)                           722,950
81. Jornal da Tarde (Brazil)            709,793
82. Beijing Ribao (China)               700,000
83. Chongqing Ribao (China)       700,000
84. Clarin (Argentina)                      700,000
85. Thai Rath (Thailand                  700,000
86. Zhejiang Ribao (China)           700,000
87. Diario Insular (Portugal)          684,143
88. Granma Internacional (Cuba) 675,000
89. Chicago Tribune (U.S>)           673,508
90. Daily Record (Scotland)           671,267
91. China Daily News (Taiwan)    670,000
92. The Daily Star (England)         650,406
93. Guangxi Ribao (China)            650,000
94. Malayala Manorama (India)    630,068
95. La Nacion (Argentina)              630,000
96. Hurriyet (Turkey)                        615,579
97. Herald Sun (Australia)             600,000
98. Hurriyet (Pakistan)                    600,000
99. Liaoning Ribao (China)          600,000
100. Oriental Daily News (Hong Kong) 600,000
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> 100 LARGEST NEWSPAPERS IN U.S.


Rank                                                Circulation
1. USA Today (Arlington, Va.)         2,154,539
2. Wall Street Journal (NY N.Y.)     2,091,062
3. Times (New York, N.Y.)               1,118,565
4. Times (Los Angeles)                      914,584
5. Post (Washington, DC)                  732,872
6. Daily News (New York, N.Y.)         729,124
7. Tribune (Chicago)                           680,879
8. Post (New York, N.Y.)                     652,426
9. Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.)        580,069
10. Chronicle (Houston)                     553,018
11. Chronicle (San Francisco)           512,640
12. Morning News (Dallas)                510,133
13. Sun-Times (Chicago)                  481,798
14 Globe (Boston)                               450,538
15. Arizona Republic (Phoenix)         432,284
16. Star-Ledger (Newark, N.J.)         408,672
17. Star Tribune (Minneapolis)         380,354
18. Inquirer (Philadelphia)                 376,493
19. Journal-Constitution (Atlanta)     371,853
20. Plain Dealer (Cleveland)             365,288
21. Free Press (Detroit)                      352,714
22. Oregonian (Portland)                    342,789
23. Times (St. Petersburg, Fla.)        334,742
24. Union-Tribune (San Diego)         328,531
25. Herald (Miami)                               315,850
26. Register Orange County CA        302,864
27. Sun (Baltimore)                              301,186
28. Bee (Sacramento, Calif.)              289,905
29. Post (Denver)                                  288,937
30. Rocky Mtn. News Denver              288,889
31. Post-Dispatch (St. Louis)             285,869
32. Mercury News San Jose CA         271,997
33. Star (Kansas City, Mo.)                 267,273
34. Sentinel (Orlando, Fla.)                257,222
35. Times-Picayune N Orleans         253,610
36. Dispatch (Columbus, Ohio)        252,564
37. Star (Indianapolis)                         249,891
38. Journal Sentinel Milwaukee        244,288
39. Post-Gazette Pittsburgh Pa         242,546
40. Herald (Boston)                             241,457
41. Sun-Sentinel (Ft L'dale, Fla )       233,634
42. Times (Seattle)                              231,505
43. News (Detroit)                                227,392
44. Observer (Charlotte, N.C.)           226,849
45. Tribune (Tampa, Fla.)                  224,220
46. Express-News S Antonio Tx       222,536
47. Investor's Business Daily LA      215,788
48. Star-Telegram Ft Worth, TX)       215,452
49. Courier-Journal L'ville Ky            213,176
50. News (Buffalo, N.Y.)                     207,989
51. Daily Oklahoman Okla City        207,538
52. Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk, Va.)       201,141
53. World-Herald Omaha Neb.        192,075
54. Pioneer Press(St Pau, Minn       190,392
55. Times-Dispatch Richmond        188,540
56. Courant (Hartford, Conn.)           185,570
57. Press-Enterprise R'side CA       183,974
58. Democrat-Gazette (L'l Rock        183,343
59. American-Statesman Austin      183,312
60. Contra Costa Times (Calif.)       182,541
61. Enquirer (Cincinnati)                   182,176
62. Record (Bergen County, N.J.)    179,270
63. Daily News (Los Angeles)         178,360
64. Democrat (Rochester, N.Y.)      173,900
65. Tennessean (Nashville)            172,149
66. Post (W. Palm Beach, Fla.)       168,147
67. Times-Union(Jacksonville Fla 167,851
68. Journal (Providence, R.I.)          167,609
69. Asbury Park Press (N.J.)           167,284
70. News & Observer Raleigh NC 163,769
71. Review-Journal (Las Vegas)    160,391
72. Bee (Fresno, Calif.)                    158,651
73. Commercial Appeal Memphis 157,820
74. Register (Des Moines, Iowa)    150,851
75. Post-Intelligencer (Seattle)       150,851
76. Daily Herald (Chicago)              150,364
77. News (Birmingham, Ala.)          148,938
78. Daily News (Philadelphia)                143,631
79. Journal News Westchester NY)      142,873
80. Advertiser (Honolulu)                         142,025
81. Blade (Toledo, Ohio)                          139,520
82. World (Tulsa, Okla.)                           139,383
83. Press (Grand Rapids, Mich.)           138,620
84. Tribune (Salt Lake City)                    134,985
85. Beacon Journal (Akron, Ohio          128,511
86. News Tribune Tacoma Wash        .128,511
87. Daily News (Dayton, Ohio)               126,642
88. La Opinion Los Angeles Calif         124,692
89. Post-Standard Syracuse, N.Y.         120,701
90. Tribune-Review (Greensburg Pa)  119,646
91. News Journal (Wilmington, Del. )   116,398
92. News-Sentinel (Knoxville, Tenn.)    114,593
93. State (Columbia, S.C.)                      114,442
94. Morning Call (Allentown, Pa.)           111,594
95. Journal (Albuquerque)                       109,693
96. Herald-Leader (Lexington, Ky.)        106,941
97. Herald-Tribune (Sarasota, Fla.)       105,636
98. News-Journal (Daytona Fla.)            104,654
99. Telegram (Worcester MA)                 102,592
100. Times (Washington, DC)                102,255
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JUST A FEW OF THE JUDGES
President George Bush
David Iain Greig, moderator, talk.origins
Roseanna Roseannadanna
Calvin Coolidge
Osama bin Laden
Karl Rove
Rush Limbaugh
THE Howard Stern
Larry King
Stephen Colbert
Oprah Winfrey
Barry Bonds
Sean Hannity
Bill Moyers
Paul PZ Myers
Alan Mann
Rosie O'Donnell
Seymour Hersh
New York Times
Washington Post
Philadelphia Inquirer
Penthouse Magazine


John