🚀 go-pugleaf

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Minutes ago I received this e-mail from Stephen Hawking.
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Greetings, Ed,
<
No apology necessary.
,
Quite frankly, when I read your report that I had died, it finally got
me back to my senses.
<
Imagine, how stupid I must've been to come out
with those ridiculous statements that there is
NO GOD. My brain must've been inside my rectum.
<
I have since done some sincere soul-searching
and am now happy to report that I'm completely
in the Creator's corner.
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I have attached a tape recording that will prove
how I''ve changed my thinking (and I can assure
you that I will attend no more atheists' picnics).
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http://www.elihu.envy.nu/NeoPics/Sounds/Hawking1.wav
<
Hallelujah!
<                                      -- Your friend, Steve
<
PS: Please give me a call when you're in London
<
===================
<
MINOR ERROR IN STEPHEN HAWKING OBIT
<
I've just sent this e-mail of apology to Professor Stephen
Hawking at SWHawk...@damtp.cam.ac.uk
<
It is strictly confidential but you can read it only
if you promise not to e-mail it to family or friends.
<
==================
<
Greetings, Professor Hawking:
<
As you might've heard, I screwed up royally on Google
the other day by publishing a News Bulletin that you
were dead.
<
I sort of jumped the gun on your obituary -- an innocent mistake --
and truly wish you wouldn't hold it against me.
<
As you well know, we all goof now and then -- which is why,
I suppose, some Wise Man long ago decided we should put erasers on the
rear-end of pencils.
<
My erroneous report of your untimely passing was based
on an obituary I had read in The Manchester Guardian,
hich rarely screws up.
<
It reported on its Obituary page that a Stephen Hawking of Devonshire
had gone to the Great Beyond because of that
terrible accident at the London Zoo.

Naturally, with the same name, I thought it was
you. Then I noticed he was a pachydermologist
-- the study of elephants -- and realized it had
to be as different Stephen Hawking.
<
Here's my original story, just for the hell of it . . .
<
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.atheism/msg/85e2436082c2742c?hl=en&
<
Yes, I realize now that I acted too hasty and didn't double check that
it indeed was you -- but , as we say here in America, it's now water
over the bridge.
<
I might add that what added to my confusion was the hoax
e-mail I later received from you "in Heaven." (Hell, we all know
that's NOT where you're going to wind up for insulting God
by saying He doesn't exist.)
<
Again, concerning my terrible mistake about reporting your untimely
demise, I really wish
you'll let bygones be bygones.
<
Steve, for your enjoyment -- and so there are no hard feelings
-- I have enclosed a cute article about how a lot of other famous
people have been identified as being dead when they really
weren't.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_premature_obituaries
<
<                         Cordially ,
<                         Ed Conrad in Amerika
<
http://www.edconrad.org
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P.S. -- Meanwhile, if you're not too busy abusing your brain
cells by denying the existence of a Creator, here's another
Web page that may interest you.
<
http://www.edconrad.com
<
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/browse_thread/thread/f7810305fb640f60/75e64db9baee6431?lnk=gst&q=jose+can+you+see#75e64db9baee6431
<
================
<
IF THE NATIVITY TOOK PLACE IN THE COMPUTER AGE . . .
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkHNNPM7pJA
<
============
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WORLD'S LARGEST NEWSPAPERS
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg
<
Rank              Country          Circulation
1. Yomiuri Shimbun (Japan) 14,532,694
2. Asahi Shimbun (Japan)    12,601,375
3. Sichuan Ribao (China)      8,000,000
4. Mainichi Shimbun (Japan) 5,845,857
5. Bild (Germany)                 5,674,400
6. Chunichi Shimbun Japan   4,323,144
7. Sun (England)                   3,718,354
8. Renmin Ribao (China)       3,000,000
9. Sankei Shimbun (Japan)   2,890,835
10. Nihon Keizai Shimbun Japan 2,705,877
11. Gongren Ribao (China)   2,500,000
12. Daily Mail (England)        2,387,867
13. Daily Mirror (England)     2,339,001
14. Chosun Ilbo S Korea       2,225,000
15. Dong-A Ilbo (S Korea)     2,150,000
16. Hokkaido Shimbun Japan 1,962,666
17. Eleftherotypia (Greece)   1,858,316
18. Xin Min Wan Bao (China 1,750,000
19. Wall Street Journal (US)  1,740,450
20. Yangcheng Wanbao China 1,730,000
21. Kerala Kaumudi (India)     1,720,000
22. Wen Hui Bao Daily China 1,700,000
23. USA Today US                 1,653,428
24. Joong-Ang Ilbo S. Korea   1,550,000
25. Economic Daily (China)    1,500,000
26. Rodong Sinmun (N. Korea 1,500,000
27. Kyung-Hyang Daily News  1,478,537
28. Sports Nippon (Japan)      1,452,699
29. Shizuoka Shimbun Japan  1,442,310
30. Sankei Sports (Japan)      1,367,734
31. Deutche Allgemeine Germany 1,313,400
32. United Daily News (Taiwan 1,300,000
33. China Times (Taiwan)        1,270,000
34. O Estado de Sao Paulo Brazil) 1,230,160
35. Jang Daily (Pakistan)         1,200,000
36. Jang Lahore (Pakistan)      1,200,000
37. Akhbar El Yom (Egypt)       1,159,339
38. Hankook Ilbo (South Korea) 1,156,000
39. Hochi Shimbun (Japan)      1,119,031
40. Daily Express (England)     1,118,981
41. Los Angeles Times (U.S.)   1,067,540
42. New York Times (U>S)       1,066,540
43. Tokyo Shimbun (Japan       1,062,080
44. Daily Telegraph (England)  1,047,861
45. Nishinippon Shimbun Japan 1,041,104
46. Jiefang Ribao (China)         1,000,000
47. Nanfang Ribao (China)       1,000,000
48. Nongmin Ribao (China)       1,000,000
49. Zhongguo Qingnian Ribao (China) 1,000,000
50. Nikkan Sports (Japan)            984,058
51. Al Akhbar (Egypt)                   980,000
52. Guangming Ribao (China)      950,000
53. Al Ahram (Egypt)                   900,000
54. Al Goumhouriya (Egypt)         900,000
55. Seoul Shinmun (S. Korea)      900,000
56. Xin Hua Ribao (China)           900,000
57. Verdens Gang (Norway) 870,267
58. Corriere della Sera (Italy) 868,266
59. Kyoto Shimbun (Japan) 839,499
60. Chugoku Shimbun (Japan) 820,000
61 Kobe Shimbun Japan 820,000
62. Times of India (India) 813,000
63. Kobe Shimbun (Japan) 810,353
64. Beijing Wanbao (China) 800,000
65. Hubei Ribao (China) 800,000
66. Jiefangjun Ribao (China) 800,000
67. Trybuna Slaska (Poland) 800,000
68. La Gazzetta dello Sport Italy 798,243
69. Ouest-France (France) 790,133
70. Holos Ukrainy (Ukraine) 768,000
71. The Times (England) 766,999
72. ABC (Spain) 765,668
73. Washington Post (U.SSS>) 759,122
74. La Repubblica (Italy) 754,930
75. Morning News (Dallas) 510,133
13. Sun-Times (Chicago) 481,798
14 Globe (Boston) 450,538
15. Arizona Republic (Phoenix) 432,284
16. Star-Ledger (Newark, N.J.) 408,672
17. Star Tribune (Minneapolis) 380,354
18. Inquirer (Philadelphia) 376,493
19. Journal-Constitution (Atlanta) 371,853
20. Plain Dealer (Cleveland) 365,288
21. Free Press (Detroit) 352,714
22. Oregonian (Portland) 342,789
23. Times (St. Petersburg, Fla.) 334,742
24. Union-Tribune (San Diego) 328,531
25. Herald (Miami) 315,850
26. Register Orange County CA 302,864
27. Sun (Baltimore) 301,186
28. Bee (Sacramento, Calif.) 289,905
29. Post (Denver) 288,937
30. Rocky Mtn. News Denver 288,889
31. Post-Dispatch (St. Louis) 285,869
32. Mercury News San Jose CA 271,997
33. Star (Kansas City, Mo.) 267,273
34. Sentinel (Orlando, Fla.) 257,222
35. Times-Picayune N Orleans 253,610
36. Dispatch (Columbus, Ohio) 252,564
37. Star (Indianapolis) 249,891
38. Journal Sentinel Milwaukee 244,288
39. Post-Gazette Pittsburgh Pa 242,546
40. Herald (Boston) 241,457
41. Sun-Sentinel (Ft L'dale, Fla ) 233,634
42. Times (Seattle) 231,505
43. News (Detroit) 227,392
44. Observer (Charlotte, N.C.) 226,849
45. Tribune (Tampa, Fla.) 224,220
46. Express-News S Antonio Tx 222,536
47. Investor's Business Daily LA 215,788
48. Star-Telegram Ft Worth, TX) 215,452
49. Courier-Journal Lousville Ky 213,176
50. News (Buffalo, N.Y.) 207,989
51. Daily Oklahoman Okla City 207,538
52. Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk, Va.) 201,141
53. World-Herald Omaha Neb. 192,075
54. Pioneer Press(St Pau, Minn 190,392
55. Times-Dispatch Richmond 188,540
56. Courant (Hartford, Conn.) 185,570
57. Press-Enterprise R'side CA 183,974
58. Democrat-Gazette (L'l Rock 183,343
59. American-Statesman Austin 183,312
60. Contra Costa Times (Calif.) 182,541
61. Enquirer (Cincinnati) 182,176
62. Record (Bergen County, N.J.) 179,270
63. Daily News (Los Angeles) 178,360
64. Democrat (Rochester, N.Y.) 173,900
65. Tennessean (Nashville) 172,149
66. Post (W. Palm Beach, Fla.) 168,147
67. Times-Union(Jacksonville Fla 167,851
68. Journal (Providence, R.I.) 167,609
69. Asbury Park Press (N.J.) 167,284
70. News & Observer Raleigh NC 163,769
71. Review-Journal (Las Vegas) 160,391
72. Bee (Fresno, Calif.) 158,651
73. Commercial Appeal Memphis 157,820
74. Register (Des Moines, Iowa) 150,851
75. Post-Intelligencer (Seattle) 150,851
76. Daily Herald (Chicago) 150,364
77. News (Birmingham, Ala.) 148,938
78. Daily News (Philadelphia) 143,631
79. Journal News Westchester NY 142,873
80. Advertiser (Honolulu) 142,025
81. Blade (Toledo, Ohio) 139,520
82. World (Tulsa, Okla.) 139,383
83. Press (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 138,620
84. Tribune (Salt Lake City) 134,985
85. Beacon Journal (Akron, Ohio 128,511
86. News Tribune Tacoma Wash 128,511
87. Daily News (Dayton, Ohio) 126,642
88. La Opinion Los Angeles Calif 124,692
89. Post-Standard Syracuse, N.Y. 120,701
90. Tribune-Review (Greensburg Pa 119,646
91. News Journal (Wilmington, Del.) 116,398
92. News-Sentinel (Knoxville Tenn) 114,593
93. State (Columbia, S.C.) 114,442
94. Morning Call (Allentown, Pa.) 111,594
95. Journal (Albuquerque) 109,693
96. Herald-Leader (Lexington, Ky.) 106,941
97. Herald-Tribune (Sarasota, Fla.) 105,636
98. News-Journal (Daytona Fla.) 104,654
99. Telegram (Worcester MA) 102,592
100. Times (Washington, DC) 102,255
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