🚀 go-pugleaf

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      NEW YORK CITY (Rueters) --
If you'd rather not lay unconscious
In a hospital or, even worse, find
yourself laid out horizontally on an
ice-cold slab in the morgue, stay
indoors on Friday evening.
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    Traffic accidents galore are
bound to occur when the usual
hustle-bustle in the Big Apple
omes to a screeching halt at
:34 p.m. as all heads will bow --
even those at ae steering wheel --
to give thanks to Almighty God
for helping the Giants win the
Super Bowl.
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    "We figure there are going to be
a helluva lot of rear-end collisions,
not only on the Expressways but
everywhere in the city," said Rush
Limbaugh, who plans to hide in
his studio basement for the
five-minute mini-version of "The
Day the Earth Stood Still.".
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    Extra ambulances from New
Jersey, Connecticut and Penn-
sylvania will brought in to help
clean up the mess, and a fleet
of garbage trucks will be put
on the ready.
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   Mayor Michael Bloomberg agrees
that "Five Minutes for God" may not
be the safest way to appease The
Man Upstairs but fears, unless it's
done, He may keep His promise
and not allow the Giants or Yankees
to reach the Super Bowl or World
Series for the next 17 years.
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   Bloomberg explained that God is
rightfully peeved because everybody
on or near the team was doused with
praise for the victory -- except the
Supreme Bean, Who we all know
had orchestrated the upset.
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    Most New Yorkers agree that,
without Divine Intervention, the
iants would've gotten their butts
kicked by the New England Patriots
last Sunday (same as they did to
Tim Tebow and the Broncocs).
"
   "We just hope that God has a bad
memory and forgets to live up to
His promise ()opf a 17-yer famine
for teh Giants and the Yankees),"
Billo Reilly told his thousands of
viewers on Fox Noose last night.
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    The Man Upstairs, who probably
knows a lot more about football than
even the late Joe Paterno, used
a double whammy with time running
out to help the Giants pull it off.
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     Imagine, on the very same play,
the Giants scored their winning touch-
down -- WHICH THEY DIDN'T WANT
-- while  the Patriots, who were
WINNING at the time, deliberately
allowed the TD that turned out to be
the points that cooked their goose.
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Father Guido Sarducci, who moonlights as an ambulance driver
in the Bronx, shows how thick Saturday's newspaper will be with
all of the obituaries and accident reports.
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http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
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GOOD GOD! Boy, You Certainly Can Say THAT Again!
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http://www.edconrad.org
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YES WE HAVE NO BANANAS
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http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/msg/522305f02e955b66
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http://www.edconrad.com
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Ed Conrad
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Dartboard.jpg