🚀 go-pugleaf

Victor Smootbank <mean_priests@yahoo.com> wrote:

> C'mon, the moon is an ugly piece of rock and dirt blocking our
> view into deep space.
> 
> I think we'll need a petition to move the moon from our orbit,
> because the moon is a giant piece of garbage.
> 
> When the moon is gone, astronomy will be far more fun!!!
> 
> What do you think???

It is not possible to get rid of the moon, because it demarcates 
the actual centerline of our universe.  Step outside the universe 
for a moment and watch the moon�s path. You�ll see that it moves 
in a perfectly straight line relative to the other universes 
scattered around the supervast, supposedly nonexistent emptiness 
out there.   From our perspective here on Earth, it appears that 
the moon revolves around us.  From a viewpoint �above� or �below� 
the ecliptic, just ignore Earth and it would appear that the moon 
revolves around the sun, doing a strange little dance as it does 
so. From above or below the milky way galaxy, the moon would 
appear to revolve around the galactic center, doing a double 
strange little dance. These are all illusions.  Every particle 
that we can observe is compelled to move in such a way as to 
preserve those illusions.  Don�t worry if you�re unable to 
describe the true motion of, for example, Jupiter or Betelguese 
in relation to the moon�s straight line motion. A couple of 
explanations have been offered for our inability to comprehend 
this. First, the Christian superstition says �God didn�t mean for 
us to understand that.�  Next, a murderer named L. Ron Hubbard 
somehow found out about something called �Psyclo Mathematics,� 
whose simplest theorems are used to explain it to Psyclo kids. 
The only thing you need to worry about is...Where is the fucking 
moon going, and is it going to dump us when it gets there?

I got all that information from secret sauces.

Don�t despair.  According to one Brad Guth, there are some kinds 
of critters living on Venus.  Maybe you and he could put together 
a slick sales brochure and talk them into buying the moon.  

Having said all that bullshit, I would prefer leaving the moon 
right where it is, but maybe spray paint it a darker color so it 
doesn�t screw up the night with so much reflected light.