🚀 go-pugleaf

The Russian government is going to pass a law requiring furniture
manufacturers to build microphones and radio transmitters inside every
sofa, chair and table manufactured.  A high official from the Russian
government was reported to say:

"We just aren't able to function any more without a law like this.
After the Soviet Union ceased to exist, the United States government
has hired over 50 percent of the KGB staff and we are losing the
ability to watch criminals.  They have the need and they have the
money and they value experience you couldn't have gotten anywhere
else.  Thus our law enforcement has suffered.  When this law passes,
we can catch all criminals even before they have time to commit the
crimes."

It is planned that at a later stage when Russia has the technology to
do it, a similar law will be passed for dentists to install the same
hardware in tooth fillings.


For people who have doubts that this would be a return to the former
Soviet Union policies of watching for political dissidents, the
official says:

"Absolutely not.  We have learned from our past mistakes.  It is only
natural that we want to maintain our ability to catch criminals in the
changing times - the changes in the job market are taking all our KGB
men for a country where there's money and where there's a flourishing
job market and it's only fair we should keep our law enforcement at
the high level we have managed to get it.  Thus we are not even
increasing our resources, we are just keeping them the same.  The
tapes will only be used to catch criminals and a court order will be
required before we will listen to the tapes.  Trust us, we're the
Government and we are here to help our citizens."

The law also requires that if anyone sitting on a sofa or a chair, or
at a table, speaks any other language than Russian she or he must be
able to provide an interpreter who will translate his talk to Russian
if the law enforcement decide there's a legitimate need to listen to
the tape of the conversation.  To make this possible, the name and
address of the interpreter must be clearly said aloud in Russian near
the table/sofa/chair before each conversation in a language other than
Russian.

//Jyrki