🚀 go-pugleaf

Thanks to David Geiser for digging this out.
I've had so many email requests for it (when you get it, send it to
me) that I decided to post it.


                  NEW "SMOKE" THEORY OF ELECTRONICS
                  =================================

While going over old course files in electronic devices, I came across
a sheet of paper, and as I read it, the realization of a basic truth
came over me.  So simple!  So obvious, yet I had failed to see it.
Lab Kitburnt, the legendary circuits TA, the creator of the field now
known as fried electronics, had discovered how ICs work.  He says that
smoke is the thing that makes an IC work because every time you let
the smoke out of it, it stops working.  He claims to have verified
this with thorough testing.

I was flabbergasted!  Of course!  Smoke makes all things electrical
work.  Remember the last time smoke escaped from your 6.002 lab kit.
Didn't it quit working?  I sat and smiled like an idiot as more of the
truth dawned. It's the wires that carry the smoke from the smoke
supply to the lab kit. So if the wires were to spring a leak, nothing
would work properly because there wouldn't be enough smoke reaching
the lab kit. If there is a large smoke leak, the smoke supply would go
crazy trying to generate all that smoke and would itself spring a
leak.  But how could this be? Yes...of course! Smoke comes from a
fire, and more smoke means a larger fire. Kindling the fire too much
would melt the seals, allowing some smoke, and maybe even flames, to
escape. If the fire gets too hot (you bet you can feel it!), the smoke
supply's fuel cuts off, extinguishing the fire and stopping the smoke.

High wattage transistors require more smoke to operate properly, and
that's why the wires going to them are larger.  All that smoke also
tends to make them hotter, so they require a heatsink.  And yes, when
a power electronic circuit springs a leak, it lets out much more smoke
than a logic circuit.

But wait.. How does this fit in with all the device physics we have
been learning all along? What about all the electrons and such? Could
semiconductor theory be all wrong? Hmmm... I might be at the edge of a
breakthrough... Wow!!! To be able to prove Shockley wrong! On the
other hand, maybe I'm in trouble here. There may be a big loophole...
Wait... I'm getting it... Yes! Of course! How obvious! Electrons are
black. 
-- 
_______________________________Mike Schuster________________________________
NY Pub. Access UNIX/Internet: schuster@panix.com | 70346.1745@CompuServe.COM
The Portal (R) System: schuster@shell.portal.com | MCI Mail,GEnie: MSCHUSTER