Article View: sci.physics.fusion
Article #1484Brief History of Cold Fusion (AAAS OBSERVER)
From: Hellmuth Broda
Date: Thu, 27 Jul 1989 12:44
Date: Thu, 27 Jul 1989 12:44
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3711 bytes
The following article appeared in the July 7 edition of the AAAS OBSERVER.
I've found it quite amusing and I am quoting this article without permission.
Typos are mine, and only mine.---H.B.
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A Brief History of Cold Fusion
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by Gregory Byrne, contributing writer for the AAAS OBSERVER
The AAAS OBSERVER, 7 July 1989, p3
``Cold fusion has got me on the run.''---John Lennon
The song was actually called ``Cold Turkey,'' of course. But as
it happens, cold fusion looks like a turkey. Meaning no disrespect to
the turkey. And it certainly had scientists on the run. Here's a brief
history of the Cold Rush of 1989.
March 23.
Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischmann call a press conference to
announce discovery of tabletop cold fusion. World is stunned.
Rush orders for tabletops create instant nation-wide table
shortage.
March 24.
Competitor Steven Jones says he had cold fusion first. Through
a university spokesman, Pons and Fleischmann reply ``Nyah nyah,
nyah nyah nyah.''
March 30.
Prominent scientists call press conference to denounce use of
press conferences in conducting scientific dialogue.
Early May.
Some researchers report heat but no neutrons. Others report
neutrons but no heat. Media report everything at face value.
May 2.
At a national meeting, chemists and physicists brawl in the
aisles. ``Looks great!'' shout the chemists. ``More data!''
retort the physicists. National brewer sees ad campaign
possibilities.
May 10.
Due to overloading of communication lines, Congress makes it a
federal offense to FAX cold fusion papers, data, or satires.
May 15.
Pons, Fleischmann ink movie deal. Stars: Danny DeVito, John
Clese.
May 25.
Sr. Perpetual Adoration, of St.Stanislaus Elementary School,
Warshaw, North Dakota, announces her 4th-graders have achieved
cold fusion using Play-Doh rods and apple juice.
May 26.
God, having had quite enough, announces death of cold fusion.
May 28.
Southwestern University of East North Carolina (Mayberry
campus), announces development of tabletop perpetual motion.
---Gregory Byrne
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___________________________________________________________________________
| Dr.rer.nat. Hellmuth W. Broda | c/o CIBA-GEIGY Scientific Computing Ctr. |
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---The early bird gets caught by the worm---
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X-Google-Language: ENGLISH,ASCII-7-bit X-Google-Thread: 11232c,305088b577458e34,start X-Google-Attributes: gid11232c,public X-Google-Thread: 10830a,305088b577458e34,start X-Google-Attributes: gid10830a,public X-Google-Thread: 10900b,305088b577458e34,start X-Google-Attributes: gid10900b,public X-Google-ArrivalTime: 1989-07-27 05:44:55 PST Path: arc1-ca.pugleaf.net!gmdzi!unido!mcvax!cernvax!cgch!whbr From: whbr@cgch.UUCP (Hellmuth Broda) Newsgroups: sci.physics.fusion,eunet.jokes,misc.misc Subject: Brief History of Cold Fusion (AAAS OBSERVER) Message-ID: <851@cgch.UUCP> Date: 27 Jul 89 12:44:55 GMT Sender: news@cgch.UUCP Reply-To: whbr@cgchd6.UUCP (Hellmuth Broda) Organization: c/o CIBA-GEIGY Ltd, Sci.Comp.Centre, CH-4002 Basel, Switzerland Lines: 75 Posted: Thu Jul 27 13:44:55 1989