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Article #1484

Brief History of Cold Fusion (AAAS OBSERVER)

#1484
From: Hellmuth Broda
Date: Thu, 27 Jul 1989 12:44
75 lines
3711 bytes
The following article appeared in the July 7 edition of the AAAS OBSERVER.
I've found it quite amusing and I am quoting this article without permission.
Typos are mine, and only mine.---H.B.
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			A Brief History of Cold Fusion
			~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	by Gregory Byrne, contributing writer for the AAAS OBSERVER

		      The AAAS OBSERVER, 7 July 1989, p3


``Cold fusion has got me on the run.''---John Lennon

	The song was actually called ``Cold Turkey,'' of course.  But as
it happens, cold fusion looks like a turkey.  Meaning no disrespect to
the turkey.  And it certainly had scientists on the run.  Here's a brief
history of the Cold Rush of 1989.

  March 23.
	Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischmann call a press conference to
	announce discovery of tabletop cold fusion.  World is stunned.
	Rush orders for tabletops create instant nation-wide table
	shortage.

  March 24.
	Competitor Steven Jones says he had cold fusion first.  Through
	a university spokesman, Pons and Fleischmann reply ``Nyah nyah,
	nyah nyah nyah.''

  March 30.
	Prominent scientists call press conference to denounce use of
	press conferences in conducting scientific dialogue.

  Early May.
	Some researchers report heat but no neutrons.  Others report
	neutrons but no heat.  Media report everything at face value.

  May 2.
	At a national meeting, chemists and physicists brawl in the
	aisles.  ``Looks great!'' shout the chemists.  ``More data!''
	retort the physicists.  National brewer sees ad campaign
	possibilities.

  May 10.
	Due to overloading of communication lines, Congress makes it a
	federal offense to FAX cold fusion papers, data, or satires.

  May 15.
	Pons, Fleischmann ink movie deal.  Stars: Danny DeVito, John
	Clese.

  May 25.
	Sr. Perpetual Adoration, of St.Stanislaus Elementary School,
	Warshaw, North Dakota, announces her 4th-graders have achieved
	cold fusion using Play-Doh rods and apple juice.

  May 26.
	God, having had quite enough, announces death of cold fusion.

  May 28.
	Southwestern University of East North Carolina (Mayberry
	campus), announces development of tabletop perpetual motion.

					         ---Gregory Byrne

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 ___________________________________________________________________________
| Dr.rer.nat. Hellmuth W. Broda |  c/o CIBA-GEIGY Scientific Computing Ctr. |
| Biologist and Systems Analyst |  R-1045.3.16, P.O.Box, Tel:+4161 697-7109 |
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From: whbr@cgch.UUCP (Hellmuth Broda)
Newsgroups: sci.physics.fusion,eunet.jokes,misc.misc
Subject: Brief History of Cold Fusion (AAAS OBSERVER)
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Date: 27 Jul 89 12:44:55 GMT
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Posted: Thu Jul 27 13:44:55 1989