Article View: sci.physics
Article #4431Top 10 List (was Re: Another Cute Math Joke)
From: Paul L. Cowan
Date: Sat, 03 Oct 1992 16:53
Date: Sat, 03 Oct 1992 16:53
79 lines
3819 bytes
3819 bytes
In <1992Oct2.123755.22685@ulrik.uio.no> jarleb@athena.uio.no writes:
: TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK
:
: 1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
: 2. Isaac Newton's birthday.
: 3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't
: actually reach it.
: 4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
: 5. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove
: that it converged.
: 6. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
: 7. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in
: and ate it.
: 8. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or
: i is the square root of negative one.
: 9. I took time out to snack a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent
: the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
: 10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but
: this morning I couldn't find it.
:
: Jarle.
These are great! Does there exist a similar list for physics?
After all this is sci.physics. If there is one (in the FAQ?) please excuse
this modest attempt:
TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE *PHYSICS* HOMEWORK
10. My homework paper fell into a wormhole and was transported through
time into next week.
9. A freak statistical fluctuation caused all the molecules in the paper
head south simultaneously.
8. I have the wavefunction, but I misplaced its complex conjugate.
7. I was comparing my homework to my roommates, but unfortunately
his paper was made of anti-matter and they annihilated.
6. I couldn't spell "Podalski".
5. I rolled it into a ball and dropped it off the Tower of Pisa.
4. I was sitting under a tree working on it when an apple hit me
on the head, and they just released me from the hospital.
3. I was riding on a train going near the speed of light when
lighting struck both ends *SIMULTANEOUSLY* and the paper was
burned in the ensuing fire.
2. I was measuring the height of a tall building with a barometer,
and the wind on the roof blew my paper away as I was timing
how long it took the barometer to fall.
And the number one reason for not handing in ones Physics homework...
1. Schroedinger's cat ate it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
P. L. Cowan Please send replies, comments etc. (no flames thank you) to
COWAN@ANL.GOV (I'm posting from my own account, but not the preferred one)
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is a War Room!"
from _Dr._Strangelove_or:_How_I_Learned_to_Stop_Worrying_and_Love_the_Bomb_
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Technical Details
Message-ID:
<1992Oct3.165309.20134@morrow.stanford.edu>Path:
arc1-ca.pugleaf.net!sparky!uunet!morrow.stanford.edu!newsReferences:
<18SEP199212001491@csa2.lbl.gov> <92264.143958CCB104@psuvm.psu.edu> <1992Sep24.181917.18396@newstand.syr.edu> <25SEP199218553012@rover.uchicago.edu> <palmer.717479702@heawk1> <9227317.26306@mulga.cs.mu.OZ.AU> <marc.717947769@vieta.math.uni-sb.de> <1992Oct1.233811.8760@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> <1992Oct2.123755.22685@ulrik.uio.no>Show Full Headers
Complete Article Headers
Newsgroups: sci.physics Path: arc1-ca.pugleaf.net!sparky!uunet!morrow.stanford.edu!news From: COWAN@ssrl01.slac.stanford.edu (Paul L. Cowan) Subject: Top 10 List (was Re: Another Cute Math Joke) In-Reply-To: jarleb@athena.uio.no's message of Fri, 2 Oct 1992 12: 37:55 GMT Message-ID: <1992Oct3.165309.20134@morrow.stanford.edu> Sender: news@morrow.stanford.edu (News Service) Organization: CALIFORNIANS ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS References: <18SEP199212001491@csa2.lbl.gov> <92264.143958CCB104@psuvm.psu.edu> <1992Sep24.181917.18396@newstand.syr.edu> <25SEP199218553012@rover.uchicago.edu> <palmer.717479702@heawk1> <9227317.26306@mulga.cs.mu.OZ.AU> <marc.717947769@vieta.math.uni-sb.de> <1992Oct1.233811.8760@lmpsbbs.comm.mot.com> <1992Oct2.123755.22685@ulrik.uio.no> Date: Sat, 3 Oct 1992 16:53:09 GMT X-News-Reader: VMS NEWS 1.24 Lines: 79