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Article #4431

Top 10 List (was Re: Another Cute Math Joke)

#4431
From: Paul L. Cowan
Date: Sat, 03 Oct 1992 16:53
79 lines
3819 bytes
In <1992Oct2.123755.22685@ulrik.uio.no> jarleb@athena.uio.no writes:

:        TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK
:
: 1.      I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
: 2.      Isaac Newton's birthday.
: 3.      I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook.  I couldn't
:         actually reach it.
: 4.      I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
: 5.      I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove
:         that it converged.
: 6.      I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
: 7.      I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in
:         and ate it.
: 8.      I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or
:         i is the square root of negative one.
: 9.      I took time out to snack a doughnut and a cup of coffee.  I spent
:         the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
: 10.     I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but
:         this morning I couldn't find it.
:
:						Jarle.

These are great! Does there exist a similar list for physics? 
After all this is sci.physics. If there is one (in the FAQ?) please excuse
this modest attempt: 

        TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE *PHYSICS* HOMEWORK

10.     My homework paper fell into a wormhole and was transported through
        time into next week.
 9.     A freak statistical fluctuation caused all the molecules in the paper
        head south simultaneously.
 8.     I have the wavefunction, but I misplaced its complex conjugate.
 7.     I was comparing my homework to my roommates, but unfortunately 
        his paper was made of anti-matter and they annihilated.
 6.     I couldn't spell "Podalski".
 5.     I rolled it into a ball and dropped it off the Tower of Pisa.
 4.     I was sitting under a tree working on it when an apple hit me
        on the head, and they just released me from the hospital.
 3.     I was riding on a train going near the speed of light when 
        lighting struck both ends *SIMULTANEOUSLY* and the paper was 
        burned in the ensuing fire.
 2.     I was measuring the height of a tall building with a barometer,
        and the wind on the roof blew my paper away as I was timing
        how long it took the barometer to fall.

And the number one reason for not handing in ones Physics homework...





















 1. Schroedinger's cat ate it.



---------------------------------------------------------------------------
P. L. Cowan     Please send replies, comments etc. (no flames thank you) to 
COWAN@ANL.GOV  (I'm posting from my own account, but not the preferred one)
        "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is a War Room!"
from _Dr._Strangelove_or:_How_I_Learned_to_Stop_Worrying_and_Love_the_Bomb_
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Path: arc1-ca.pugleaf.net!sparky!uunet!morrow.stanford.edu!news
From: COWAN@ssrl01.slac.stanford.edu (Paul L. Cowan)
Subject: Top 10 List (was Re: Another Cute Math Joke)
In-Reply-To: jarleb@athena.uio.no's message of Fri, 2 Oct 1992 12: 37:55 GMT
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