🚀 go-pugleaf

in rec.pets
mdorfman@hamp.hampshire.edu writes:
>
>I hope this is not against the rules, but I have a favor to ask.....

BREAKING NET RULE 117.
PUNISHMENT: KILL HIS CAT.

>My fiancee and I just lost our beloved cat of five years. 

THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH THE NET POLICE.

>Gussie was hit by a car a few weeks ago, and we miss her very much. 

I ALWAYS LOVED ARLO BETTER. (I'VE WAITED 10 YEARS FOR A WOODY GUTHERIE
REFERENCE).

>She was a wonderful, noble cat, and taught us so much about love. 

"THIS IS MY FRIGIN' FOOD, GET YOUR OWN"
	--Gussie the Cat


>(hence the busy road that took Gussie's life), and are new in town.  I know
>a lot of people from work, and they have been a wonderful support, but my
>fiancee is a student and hasn't made a lot of friends.

I.E. YOU FIANCEE IS A LOSER.  
YOU'LL ULTIMATELY BE HAPPIER WITH A BIG DOG.

>there mind sending an e-mail sympathy card to my fiancee?  I am sure it would
>help her to know that there are other cat people who can understand her loss.
>It would really mean a lot.
>
>Her name is Liz Stearns, and her e-mail address is:
>
>e_stearns@uvmvax.uvm.edu

DEAR LIZ.
I KILLED GUSSIE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
NO ONE CAN LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU.
YOU'RE NEXT.

LOVE *ALWAYS*,

"GUS"