🚀 go-pugleaf

This story is absolutely true, insomuch as anything in the newspapers
is true. if you dont believe me, go find the Washington post, 1/27/93,
D1.

So it turns out that theres this preacher down in the small southern
virginia town of martinsville. his name, if memory serves me, is elwood
something. and he has just marrieda 16 year old girl while still retaingin
his older wife, because god told him it was ok.

elwood likes to read the portions of the bible about polygamy during his
sermons. he notes that while it is ok for a 'prophet' to take many wives
it is not ok for a woman to take many husbands. elwood says his first wife
janice (who is about his age) does not object to the situation, but
she was hospitalized for 'nerves' for a week after first hearing the
news.

but wait, you say. bigamy is illegal. where, there's the tricky part;
elwood did not perform a legal marraige on himself and the 16yr old.
instead, he just proclaimed them 'married in the eyes of god', and
proceeded to do the nasty with her, guilt free. (o yeah, i forgot,
he's "in love" with her too)

so the prosecutors of this small, god fearing town are in a bind. its
not illegal to fuck a 16 yr old. its not illegal to perform a non-
binding marraige on yourself when youre already married either. so
they are going to prosecute him (maybe) under a 1877 law which 
forbids having sex with a 15-17yr old virgin under the false
promise of marraige. as you may guess, this law has not been used
much lately.