🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <257cc$d1f28.75@news.express.ca>, an493580@anon.penet.fi
(TalonHawk) wrote:

> >> >>        Canadian culture is alive and dynamic, and sophisticated far 
> >> >>beyond than what your pitiful American intellect is capable of 
> >> >>comprehending. 
> >> 
> >> >Yeah? How? Hockey riots when you losers lose? Bob and Doug MacKenzie?
> >> >Drinking alot of Molson and hitting each other?

> Name three provinces you stupid american. I could name plenty of
> states, but half of the americans I ever see on vacation think Canada
> is either a state or somewhere in Eupope.

Prince Edward Island, Saskatchewan and Newfoundland & Labrador...the three
provinces that are too small to petition the United States for annexation.

And what difference would it make to Americans if Canada were a state, or
somewhere in Europe?  Very little.  Less Canadian change lightening up our
wallets, that's all.  

> >>      You really believe this stereotyped image?  The MacKenzie
brothers were
> >> _satire_ you idiot.  Which illustrates an important point.  Canadians can
> >> laugh at themselves.  Not just what they do, but who they are and what this
> >> country really stands for.  We can look at what we are honestly.  And 
> >> sometimes we have to laugh.  In the states you cannot look at yourself
> >> honestly.  Those who do and find something they do not like are considered
> >> "un-American".
> >Well, there's really nothing to laugh at, because we're perfect.  If we
> >weren't perfect, someone would take our place.  Hasn't happened in 50
> >years, now.
> If you were perfect then I think some people might like you.

No.  They're all too jealous and full of inferiority complexes.

> >> >Give me a break. Canada produces nothing. Not music, not film, not art,
> >> >not science. Zip.
> >>      That shows you have never even bothered to look.  There is more
Canadian
> >> music, film, art and science around you than you know.
> >This reminds me of a joke: "How can you say Canada sucks?  Haven't you
> >heard of the Tragically Hip?"
> Oh I get it! That's funny, right!!! Who the fuck are the Tragically
> Hip?

You are obviously not Canadian.  Perhaps you should get out of the sheath
of anonymity you hide behind.  Maybe, indeed, you should get a pair of
balls, even small ones.  Are you paranoid?  Think Uncle Sam is out to get
you?  Think that anon.penet.fi (or is that a faked address) is out of the
American grasp?  Do thoughts of CIA raids on Finnish computers keep you up
at night?

> >Get a life!  All Canadian music is is homogenized whining.  The Hip,
> >Spirit of the West, 54-40', Our Lady Peace.  Celine Dion?  Come on.  

> I won't even go INTO yank """""""music""""""". How about your lame-ass
> rap? Yo! WZUP! Nigga nigga bitch bitch fuck fuck dick dick! Have you
> ever realized how offensive that shit is? 

I never minded that myself.  'Course, I've got some emotional balance. 
Now tell me, you haven't yet realized how FUNNY Snoop Doggy Dogg and his
friends are?  You think it's all serious?  You think we take it
seriously?  

> >Film:  What film?  Where?  The best Canadian films are produced in Quebec,
> >anyway.  Art?  Which artist is Canadian?  Science?  The Canada Arm on the
> >American space shuttle?  

> What film? Ever heard of the X-Files? Oh wait! I forgot! That's filmed

Oh wait!  You forgot!  That's a TV show.  Not film, not science (although
you probably buy the government conspiracy stuff hook, line...)

> in Washington DC! There's a lot of good movies filmed and produces in
> Canada. Do you ever watch interviews with producers? They like filming
> in Canada because it's cheaper, the people aren't brainless dicks and
> they don't take shit from a million people thinking they're allowed to
> sue them!

Ah, so they can screw up like Brandon Lee and not have to pay for it?

> >> >>American culture is fast food, conservative politics, and t.v.
> >> >>shows like "A Current Affair" and "Oprah Winfrey". 
> Bravo!
> >> >It's also Jazz, Blues, great film, great theater, great writers....the
> >> >list is endless.
> Great film.. Imported from Canada, Do you yanks ever watch the
> credits? Actually FIND OUT where they are made?

No one's ever argued that Canada's scenery is lacking.  The creative bits,
the actual thinking, the producers, directors, actors (the good ones) are
all American or French or British.  

> >That's funny.  I can't think of a single great Canadian writer.  Hmm. 
> That's cause you're a yank. Or an idiot. You don't even know ANYTHING
> about Canada.

Apparently you don't either.  Go ahead.  Name a GREAT Canadian writer. 
Gabrielle Roy, maybe?  Robertson Davies?  Contenders, but like Canada,
doomed to second billing.

> >> >>Hey, when you 
> >> >>vacantly stare at Rush Limbaugh on tv in that characteristically 
> >> >>American way, does your jaw hang open, and drool run down your cheek?  
> >> >>Just wondering.
> I bet they do. 
> 
> >> >No, but the drool does run down the cheek of Jean Chretien. 

> Should I be offended by that? OWTCH! You insulted a  politician! Why
> don't you take a look at YOUR politicians! Clinton - he lets his wife
> run the country, and fucks it up pretty much too. Newt Ginbitch - do I
> even need to comment?

Wherever the heck (note the restraint displayed on the swearing; it makes
the rest of the article seem intelligent, unlike yours) you're from, I bet
your politicians are worse than the American ones.  

> >>      Going for the old Kim Cambell tactic, eh?
> >> >By the way, has he lost the country yet?
> >>      As popular as ever.  Whereas people continue to shoot at the
White House
> >> to kill your leader.
> >And in Canada, you think SO highly of your leader that the only protection
> >you give him is his wife, Aline.  At least we make assassination
> >difficult.

> Did anybody try to assasinate a Canadian Prime Minister? That was a
> burglar, you stupid git. That just goes to show the intelligence that
> you pour into thinking.

The "burglar"'s own lawyer said that a connection between the attack and
the Quebec referendum was "logical".  Why did the "burglar" have a knife
and go up to the Chr�tien bedroom?  

> >> >>        Not exactly.  Canadians carry maple leaves when travelling 
> >> >>because they don't want to be mistaken for Americans.  U.S. foreign 
> >> >>policy doesn't exactly endear people in, say, Central or South
America to 
> >> >>Americans.  
> >Yet they still worship our culture.  Hmm.  Do they even know what Canada is?

> Who worships you? I went to Europe last summer, and I never saw a
> SINGLE person who smiled at a yank. You know who a yank is too - the

Who smiles at their superiors?

> one who has a big yank flag on his jacket, and is bellowing in his
> weird form of speech into his camcorder.

To take pictures of that quaint, antiquated continent with its funny
practices, languages, and stupid little ethnic conflicts.  It's dying out,
you know.

The quote pertains to Latin America, anyway. 

> >> >Yes, and you know what? If you idiot canucks would actually learn french
> >> >(one of your official languages) or German, you would hear what they say
> >> >about you. They laugh at you. As one of my friends from Paris said "Joe,
> >> >why do these people wear that stupid leaf?"

> Wel if he's your friend, then I don't wonder why he shares your
> delirious, pitiful ego.

Quote the proper article and respond in kind.  

> Who's 'they'? The ones who worship you? They hate you even more! When
> my friends went to Greece, they were treated like garbage until they
> said they were from Canada!

> >>      A lot more Canadians know French and German than yanks.  Most
Canadians
> >> speak at least two languages.  You yanks think you can get by with that 
> >> language you call "English".
> >It's not our fault if some damned woggie or spic can't speak the bloody
> >language.  They just become irrelevant in the larger picture.  

> Oh, I see. So if YOUR minorities or whatever they should be called do
> something bad for your country, you think they're unimportant, but if

No, woggie means foreigner.  Spic can apply to anyone who speak pidgin English. 

> WE have some minorities, they get blown out of proportion.
> Typical american perspective.

You consider the French Canadians minorities?  No wonder you have problems.  

> >> >"They don't want to be mistaken for Americans."
> >> 
> >> >"But that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! I mean, Americans have
> >> >power. Canadians are just Americans with even less culture and nothing."

Please quote the proper article and include quote headers.

> That is singlehandedly the most AMERICAN thing I have ever heard.
> You're like the british. One day somebody's gonna BLOW THE SHIT out of
> your country, or maybe you'll just be surpassed by another one, but
> you'll still think that you're all mighty. 

No, that's not going to happen.  Really.  Militarily, the United States is
INVINCIBLE.  Try something, and you'll see.  The best you'll ever come up
with is a mutual loss.

> >>      More compassion towards other nations, a more civil society, a more
> >Blow up the fishermen!  Kill the Froggies!  
> Nuke the yanks!

...And face the wrath of God.

> >> consistent foreign policy, real commitment to world peace and the
environment,
> >Invite the fishermen to our waters and then blow them up!  Spill cyanide
> >in Guyanan rivers!

> What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

What?  Are you sentient?  Cambior.

> >> and a much better attitude towards the countries we travel in.
> >"Hmm...You funny-talking guys have good beer, eh?"
> HUH! OH! YEAH! Y'ALL LISTENIN'! 
> 
> >> >>Dale.  (A proud Canadian)
> Stefan (Yet another one) 
> >> >Nothing more pathetic...
> ...than a yank who thinks like this imbred foghorn.
>  
> >>      Oh sure, it is okay for all those inbred yanks to be pretend to be 
> >> patriotic (while in reality they are just brainwashed), but God
forbid there
> >> should be a patriotic Canadian.  Canadian patriotism is at least more
sincere,
> >> we actually know what we are patriotic about, whereas you yanks are just
> >> patriotic to whatever the government tells you.
> Score another point for the canadian...
> >I thought Canada was supposed to be a bilingual, bicultural country. 
> >You're supposed to be proud of this fact.  In actuality, you regard
> >Quebeckers as either "foreign" or "insurgent".  Let those goddamned
> >lamb-fuckers go, you say.  At least in the States we are patriotic enough
> >to keep our country intact.

> Do you have any states that have a TOTALLY different culture? I don't
> think so, just about half of them talk like hicks and marry their
> cousins.

So what?  At least we'll make the millenium.

> >*** AND WE KICKED YOUR ASS IN 1776 ***
> I bet you'd have liked to rub it too!
> >*** AND WE KICKED YOUR ASS IN 1812 ***
> Forgive and forget, asshole. We aren't all pissy about that, it's in
> the past. But I bet you think it's something that should go down in
> history.

The first thing out of any Canadian's mouth when I say I'm from the States
is "we beat you in 1812".  Complete brainwash from the Canadian
government, frankly, to cure little canuckies of their inferiority
problems.

-- 
* Christopher L. MULDOON         *          cmuldo@po-box.mcgill.ca *
* McGill University, Montreal    *     http://mhew151.res.mcgill.ca *