🚀 go-pugleaf

Gee--how strange!  It's January in the Midwest, and it's, it's---cold 
outside!!  Fancy that--middle of winter and it's cold outside!  How unusual.  
And this revelation definitely merits hours and hours of local Chicago news 
coverage about this oddity.  Endless "man-on-the-street" interviews with 
commuters, construction workers, postal employees about this unusual state of 
affairs.  Usually, it's about 70 or 80 degrees in Chicago's tropical climate, 
but this year, probably due to something involving the Greenhouse Effect--it's 
cold in January. 
	OK--now listen up----IT'S  SUPPOSED TO BE COLD IN JANUARY!!  IT'S THE 
MIDWEST!!  DO YOU SEE ANY PALM TREES NEXT TO THE JOHN HANCOCK BUILDING??  
THAT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT INDIGENOUS TO THIS AREA--PARTIALLY ATTRIBUTABLE TO 
THE CLIMATE WHICH, LET ME REPEAT HERE--INVOLVES COLD WINTERS!!  ATTENTION 
LOCAL CHICAGO MEDIA!!---THIS IS NOT A "NEWS" STORY!!  IT'S ALWAYS COLD IN 
JANUARY!!  FIND SOME OTHER FLUFF PIECE TO BORE US WITH BECAUSE WE KNOW
THAT WE SHOULD PROBABLY PUT ON A JACKET WHEN WE GO OUTSIDE BECAUSE IT IS 
JANUARY, AND-- ONE MORE TIME WITH FEELING- EVERYBODY-LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS--
IT'S COLD IN JANUARY!!
	Thank you--we now return you to your normally scheduled lifestyles.





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                             "A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"
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