🚀 go-pugleaf

What They Say                         What They Mean
---------------------------------     ------------------------------------

"We have this position open."         "This position was filled last week, but
                                      it sounds better than the positions we
                                      have open."

"We'll keep your resume on file and   "We'll throw your resume in the garbage."
call you if anything comes up."

"You look like a good fit for this    "We have told the client outrageous
position."                            lies about your experience."

"This is one of our best clients."    "This job is so awful that we've had to 
                                      fill it ten times because people keep 
                                      quitting."

"They need someone for this position  "They probably don't even have approval
right away."                           for hiring someone yet."

"The client wants to interview a few  "You were too honest about your skills in
more people."                         the interview, and we will never call you
                                      back, you idiot.  A job interview is no
                                      place to tell the truth about your 
                                      capabilities."

"The client is going to call me back  "The client called me back and told me
and let me know when they want you    they don't have the budget to hire you."
to start."

"I'll call you back as soon as I      "I have chewed up and swallowed your
hear something."                      phone number in order to prevent it from
                                      falling into enemy hands, and will 
                                      disavow all knowledge of this operation."

"They want you to start Monday."      "Man, I can't believe I fooled both you
                                      and the client into believing you can do
                                      this job!  Damn, I'm good!"


m

lies, damned lies, and contracts
-- 
a large viper must be swallowed with extreme caution