🚀 go-pugleaf

Be careful about what you say to telemarketers.  They might have
the last laugh.  Don't order anything unless you mean it, even
if you give a fake address.  You might end up paying for it.

>		Posting their 1-800- number to alt.sex as
>			a free "Phone Sex" line			 50 pts

This sounds like it could get you in trouble for harassment.

>[stupid ?]	Me:	It won't hurt the floor, will it?
>		Them:	Oh, no! We use a [...this usually takes some time!...]
>			and is completely safe.
>[stupid ?]	Me:	Even with my pets?
>		Them:	Oh, yes. The chemicals we use [...]

Here you ask whether the chemicals contain any dolphin meat, and
what color it is, and whether they recycle the dirt removed from
your carpets.

>		Me:	Do you have to pre-treat, since I have pets?
>		Them:	Yes, and we do that with [...]
>[repeat!]	Me:	But the original offer was for $39.95, does that
>			include treating for pets?

Here you negotiate the price down to $1.00, half charged to your draft
card now, and half in a rubber check after the 50-year warranty
expires.  This is OK if you don't actually agree to buy anything
yet, or the price is so low you don't care if you have to pay it.

>[angry???]	Them:	Ahem... Would you like us to come out?
>		Me:	Well, when could you come out?
>		Them:	How about next week?
>		Me:	Hmmm...  Morning or afternoon?
>		Them:	Either would be fine.

You should ask for Sunday at 4am, or spend 5 minutes pretending
to figure your astrological charts, giving a complicated list
of times.

>		Me:	Do you have anything the week after?
>		Them:	Sure, can I put you down for Tuesday?
>
>[Okay, let's try for those last big bonus points:]
>
>		Me:	Well, I don't think it matters, since I have all
>			hardwood floors here!

Be careful here, it sounds like you just agreed to have your hardwood
floors cleaned.  Some companies might be willing to come out and
charge you for it.  And they might ruin your floors, too.

					Gordon L. Burditt
					sneaky.lonestar.org!gordon