🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <1993Jul14.181824.9936@midway.uchicago.edu> mort@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>In article <1993Jul14.070740.2328@cs.umb.edu> kwm@eris.cs.umb.edu (Kevin W. McAuley) writes:
>
>>			chevyn
>>			[ serious. ]
>>			mc auley
>>I can't fathom people who lose their virginity rectally.
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>Why thank you knd sir for your astute opinion. I'm sure that everyone
>was just dying to know your feelings on what sexual practices you do and
>don't care for. Get a life!

CONGRATULATIONS!  You win the BUTTHEAD LOSER PRIZE for today!

"Mr. Sunshine, on what basis did our judges decide to award
the prize to mort?"

"Well, Snuffles, after careful thought, they felt that his
complete cluelessness, his failure to recognize an in-joke,
his lack of ability to craft a flame that contained raw,
unpasteurized heat, and his rash decision to flame one
of the talk.bizarre regulars (no matter how idiotic we
ourselves may find him on a regular basis) made him the
perfect person to whom to award the BUTTHEAD LOSER PRIZE!"

<audience claps loudly on cue>

"Thank you, Mr. Sunshine!  Ms. Twinkly Things, what did
you chose to award our proud contestant?"

"Ooooo, Mr. Snuffles!  It was a terribly difficult decision,
but in the end, we went with the Portable Volcano, for his
jumping pleasure, and the Cavenewt Disposal Kit Vibrator!"

"Ahhh, and why did you choose that last item, Ms. Twinkly
Things?"

"Oooo, Mr. Snuffles, so he could both fuck off AND die!!!"

<Ms. Twinkly Things blinds audience by smiling>

"Thank you, Ms. Twinkly Things! Excellent choice.  Mr. mort,
you may collect your prize at the nearest Portapoddy or
Quicklime Pit near you.  Thank you for your entry in the
BUTTHEAD LOSER PRIZE gameshow!"