🚀 go-pugleaf

   This is something that my wife picked up on her system that doesn't have
a net address (unfortunately/fortunately). I've decided to bridge this
communication gap and present it here.

1.The average cucumber is at least six inches long.
2.Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3.A cucumber won't tell you that size doesn't count.
4.Cucumbers don't get too excited.
5.Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
6.You can fondle a cucumber in the supermarket...and you know how
  firm it is before you take it home.
7.A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
8.You can go to a movie with a cucumber and see the movie.
9.At a drive-in, you can stay in the front seat...a cucumber will
  always wait until you get home.
10.A cucumber won't ask, "Am I the first?"
11.A cucumber won't tell other cucumbers that you're not a virgin anymore.
12.With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
13.Cucumbers won't make you wear kinky clothes or go to bed with your boots on.
14.You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
15.Cucumbers aren't into meaningful relationships.
16.Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor,
   or hairdresser.
17.You only have to eat a cucumber when you feel like it.
18.A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers
   in the fridge.
19.No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber.
20.A cucumber doesn't care what time of the month it is.
21.With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.
22.Cucumbers don't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool
   on your pillow.
23.Cucumbers can stay up all night...and you don't hae to sleep in the wet.
24.Cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month.
25.Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
26.A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink your liquor.
27.Cucumbers don't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
28.With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
29.A cucumber will never leave you for:.....another woman,
                                       .....another man,
                                       .....another cucumber.
30.You always know where your cucumber has been.
31.You won't find out later that your cucumber:.....is married,
                                               .....is on penicillin,
                                               .....likes you, but loves
                                                       your brother.
32.You don't have to wait until half-time to talk to your cucumber.
33.Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.
34.It's easy to drop a cucumber.
35.No matter how you slice it, you can have your cuke and eat it too.

    Now I'm your biggest MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig/Master Control Program)
there is but found this quite funny. I suppose that means I can laugh at
myself a bit (which isn't too hard at times). If some of the members of the
fairer sex (wow, I'm going to get burned for that) have any specific comments
about this please dirct your messages to me, MAB, at:

            .../decvax/utzoo/watmath/mabgarstin

   Please include your name address and any other helpful info. you may
deam necessary.

                                MAB at Univ. of Waterloo
                                       .....end of line.