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Article #172

Being _Just Friends_, "Like you, but not you" (repost)

#172
From: Greg B.
Date: Sun, 25 Feb 1996 00:00
56 lines
3660 bytes
The following special Post Valentine's Day piece can be found on my
non-commercial (no ads, no cost to you) humor e-zine...
http://home.earthlink.net/~gregoire.

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                   Like You, But Not You...
                  (c)1996 - Greg Bulmash

I have a problem with women.  It's not that they don't like me.  No.
They love me... as a friend.

I don't know how many times I've been on the phone with a woman and
she says: "Greg, you're such a good listener.  You're so caring and
sweet.  I wish I could find a guy just like you."

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but generally one would assume that
_I'm_ just like me.  Her response: "Well, like you, but not _you_.  I
just don't think of you that way."

Guys, beware of this.  As soon as she doesn't think of you _that way_,
she'll suddenly feel comfortable talking about anything in front of
you.  I was once out with three women.  Three women and me, they're
all good looking, and they're all my _friends_.  They start talking
about sex.  Then they start talking about how long it's been since
they had sex.  These girls were talking in terms of days and weeks.
Me, I'm talking in terms of _terms_...  presidential terms.

Then one pipes up and says "I really need to get laid."  The other two
chime in with "Me too.  I need to get laid too."

It was finally too much to bear.  I motioned them close.  "Ladies, you
may not know this," I said.  "It's really a closely guarded secret,
but... now keep this under your hats... I have a penis.  Not only
that, it's but a mere part of a complete and fully functioning set of
male genitalia.  But wait... male genitalia?  My goodness, that must
mean I'm a guy.  And you know what?  Even better than that?  I'm a guy
who's just like me."

But, of course, they want a guy who's like me, but not _me_, so until
they find him I guess they'll have to settle for something that's
_like_ a guy, but requires batteries.

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For this and other fun pieces, check out:

  http://home.earthlink.net/~gregoire

If the reactions of the previous hundreds of visitors are any
indication, you'll have lots of fun.
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From: gregoire@earthlink.net (Greg B.)
Subject: Being _Just Friends_, "Like you, but not you" (repost)
Date: 1996/02/25
Message-ID: <4gp71c$jmp@bolivia.it.earthlink.net>
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newsgroups: uk.singles,vegas.singles,alt.love,tw.bbs.talk.love,dc.romance