🚀 go-pugleaf

RULES OF ETIQUETTE


PERSONAL HYGIENE
While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be
done in private using one's OWN truck keys.  Proper use of toiletries 
can forestall bathing for several days.   However, if you live alone, 
deodorant is a waste of good money.

DINING OUT
   When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour 
slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.  If drinking
directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the 
label.

    ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
  A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a 
taxidermist.  Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how
good it's manners are.

    DATING (Outside The Family)

    Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
Be aggressive.   Let her know you are interested:  "I've been wanting to
go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's  bathroom wall two
years ago."  Establish with her parents what time she  is expected
back.  Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday."   If the
latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to
school on time.

   THEATER ETIQUETTE
   Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up 
immediately after the movie has ended.  Refrain from talking to 
characters on the screen.  Tests have proven they can't hear you.

   WEDDINGS

   Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.  Kissing the
bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.  Though uncomfortable,
say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

   DRIVING ETIQUETTE

   Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is
loaded, and the deer is in sight.   When approaching a four-way stop, 
the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. When 
sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask
her to bring back beer. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle,
especially when driving.

   TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS

    *Never take a beer to a job interview.
    *Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
    *It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
    *If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
    *Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is 
still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to