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Democrats vs. Republicans

From a document submitted and published in the Congressional Record
on October 1, 1974, by Representative Craig Hosmer [R-California].
The author chose to remain anonymous.

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committe es and read them as a group.

Republicans consume three fourths of all the rutabaga produced in
this country. The remainder is thro wn out.

Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paint brushes.

Democrats give their worn out clothes to those less fortunate.
Republicans wear theirs.

Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs.

Democrats name their children after currently popular sports figures,
politicians, and entertainers. Republican children are named after
their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is.

Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are not successful.
Neither are Republicans.

Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom
any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't.

Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put
them in the bottom of the bird cage.

Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car
windows by Democrats.

Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise
Airedales, kids, and taxes.

Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall.

Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican
girls, but feel that they're ent itled to a little fun first.

Democrats make plans and then do something else. Republicans follow
the plans their grandfathers made .

Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms. That is
why there are more Democrats.

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