A story about Windows, Mac, & Linux

#2

Author: yurts
Date: Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:18

102 lines
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This is a section from "In the beginning was the command line" by Neal 
Stephenson.  Makes fo" excellent reading!
http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/C_R_Y_P_T_O_N_O_M_I_C_O_N.shtml

  "Imagine a crossroads where four competing auto dealerships are 
situated. One of them (Microsoft) is much, much bigger than the others. 
It started out years ago selling three-speed bicycles (MS-DOS); these 
were not perfect, but they worked, and when they broke you could easily 
fix them.

There was a competing bicycle dealership next door (Apple) that one day 
began selling motorized vehicles--expensive but attractively styled cars 
with their innards hermetically sealed, so that how they worked was 
something of a mystery.

The big dealership responded by rushing a moped upgrade kit (the 
original Windows) onto the market. This was a Rube Goldberg contraption 
that, when bolted onto a three-speed bicycle, enabled it to keep up, 
just barely, with Apple-cars. The users had to wear goggles and were 
always picking bugs out of their teeth while Apple owners sped along in 
hermetically sealed comfort, sneering out the windows. But the 
Micro-mopeds were cheap, and easy to fix compared with the Apple-cars, 
and their market share waxed.

Eventually the big dealership came out with a full-fledged car: a 
colossal station wagon (Windows 95). It had all the aesthetic appeal of 
a Soviet worker housing block, it leaked oil and blew gaskets, and it 
was an enormous success. A little later, they also came out with a 
hulking off-road vehicle intended for industrial users (Windows NT) 
which was no more beautiful than the station wagon, and only a little 
more reliable.

Since then there has been a lot of noise and shouting, but little has 
changed. The smaller dealership continues to sell sleek Euro-styled 
sedans and to spend a lot of money on advertising campaigns. They have 
had GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! signs taped up in their windows for so long 
that they have gotten all yellow and curly. The big one keeps making 
bigger and bigger station wagons and ORVs.

On the other side of the road are two competitors that have come along 
more recently.

One of them (Be, Inc.) is selling fully operational Batmobiles (the 
BeOS). They are more beautiful and stylish even than the Euro-sedans, 
better designed, more technologically advanced, and at least as reliable 
as anything else on the market--and yet cheaper than the others.

With one exception, that is: Linux, which is right next door, and which 
is not a business at all. It's a bunch of RVs, yurts, tepees, and 
geodesic domes set up in a field and organized by consensus. The people 
who live there are making tanks. These are not old-fashioned, cast-iron 
Soviet tanks; these are more like the M1 tanks of the U.S. Army, made of 
space-age materials and jammed with sophisticated technology from one 
end to the other. But they are better than Army tanks. They've been 
modified in such a way that they never, ever break down, are light and 
maneuverable enough to use on ordinary streets, and use no more fuel 
than a subcompact car. These tanks are being cranked out, on the spot, 
at a terrific pace, and a vast number of them are lined up along the 
edge of the road with keys in the ignition. Anyone who wants can simply 
climb into one and drive it away for free.

Customers come to this crossroads in throngs, day and night. Ninety 
percent of them go straight to the biggest dealership and buy station 
wagons or off-road vehicles. They do not even look at the other dealerships.

Of the remaining ten percent, most go and buy a sleek Euro-sedan, 
pausing only to turn up their noses at the philistines going to buy the 
station wagons and ORVs. If they even notice the people on the opposite 
side of the road, selling the cheaper, technically superior vehicles, 
these customers deride them cranks and half-wits.

The Batmobile outlet sells a few vehicles to the occasional car nut who 
wants a second vehicle to go with his station wagon, but seems to 
accept, at least for now, that it's a fringe player.

The group giving away the free tanks only stays alive because it is 
staffed by volunteers, who are lined up at the edge of the street with 
bullhorns, trying to draw customers' attention to this incredible 
situation. A typical conversation goes something like this:

Hacker with bullhorn: "Save your money! Accept one of our free tanks! It 
is invulnerable, and can drive across rocks and swamps at ninety miles 
an hour while getting a hundred miles to the gallon!"

Prospective station wagon buyer: "I know what you say is 
true...but...er...I don't know how to maintain a tank!"

Bullhorn: "You don't know how to maintain a station wagon either!"

Buyer: "But this dealership has mechanics on staff. If something goes 
wrong with my station wagon, I can take a day off work, bring it here, 
and pay them to work on it while I sit in the waiting room for hours, 
listening to elevator music."

Bullhorn: "But if you accept one of our free tanks we will send 
volunteers to your house to fix it for free while you sleep!"

Buyer: "Stay away from my house, you freak!"

Bullhorn: "But..."

Buyer: "Can't you see that everyone is buying station wagons?"

Re: A story about Windows, Mac, & Linux

#3

Author: yurts
Date: Wed, 17 Mar 2010 18:01

108 lines
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This heer is a secshun frum "In thuh beginnin' wuz thuh comman' line" by
Neal Stephenson.  Makes fo" 'sellent readin'!
http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/C_R_Y_P_T_O_N_O_M_I_C_O_N.shtml

"Imagine a crossroads wheer four competin' autuh dealerships are
situated. *burp* One uh 'em (Microsuht) is much, much bigger than thuh
uthuhrs. *spit* It started out yeers ago sellin' three-speed bicycles
(MS-DOS); thuhse wuz not purfik, but thuhy worked, an' when thuhy broke
yew could easily fix 'em. *scratch* *scratch*

Theer wuz a competin' bicycle dealership next door (Apple) that one day
began sellin' motuhrized vehicles--'spensive but attractively styled
pickem-up trucks with thuhir innards hermetically sealed, so'sn how
thuhy worked wuz sump'm uh a muhstery.

The big-ass dealership r'sponded by rushin' a moped upgrade kit (thuh
original Windows) ontuh thuh market. This heer wuz a Rube Goldberg
contrapshun that, when bolted ontuh a three-speed bicycle, enabled it
tuh keep up, jus' barely, with Apple-cars. *spit* The users had tuh wear
gawggles an' wuz always pickin' bugs out uh thuhir teeth whahl Apple
owners sped along in hermetically sealed comfert, sneerang out thuh
windows. *spit* But thuh Micro-mopeds wuz cheap, an' easy tuh fix
compared with thuh Apple-cars, an' thuhir market share waxed. *burp*

Evenchully thuh big-ass dealership came out with a full-fledged car: a
colossal stashun wagon (Windows 95). It'd all thuh aesthuhtic appeal uh
a Soviet worker housin' block, it leaked oil an' blew gassets, an' it
wuz an enormous success. *spit* A little later, thuhy also came out with
a hulkin' uhf-road vehicle intended fer industrial users (Windows NT)
which wuz no mo purty than thuh stashun wagon, an' only a little mo
reliable. *snort*

Since thuhn thuhre has been a lot uh noise an' hollerang, but little has
changed. *burp* The li'l bittyer dealership continyas tuh sell sleek
Euro-styled sedans an' tuh spend a lot uh money on advertisin'
campaigns. *spit* They have had GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! signs taped up in
thuhir windows fer so long that thuhy have gotten all yellow an' curly.
The big-ass one keeps makin' bigger an' bigger stashun wagons an' ORVs.
*spit*

On thuh uthuhr side uh thuh road are two competituhrs that have come
along mo recently.

One uh 'em (Be, Inc.) is sellin' fully operashunal Batmobiles (thuh
BeOS). They is mo purty an' stylish even than thuh Euro-sedans, better
designed, mo technolawgik'ly advanced, an' at least as reliable as
innythang else on thuh market--an' yet cheaper than thuh uthuhrs. *spit*

With one 'sepshun, that is: Linux, which is right next door, an' which
ain't a business at all. It's a bunch uh RVs, yurts, tepees, an'
geodesic domes set up in a field an' organized by consensus. *spit* The
folks who live thuhre are makin' tanks. *spit* These ain't
old-fashioned, cast-iron Soviet tanks; thuhse are mo like thuh M1 tanks
uh thuh U.S. Armuh, made uh space-age materials an' jammed with
sophisticated technolawgy frum one end tuh thuh uthuhr. KnowwhutImean?
But thuhy are better than Armuh tanks. *spit* They done been modif'nied
in such a way that thuhy never, ever break down, are light an'
maneuverable enuff tuh use on ordinary streets, an' use no mo fuel than
a subcompact car. KnowwhutImean? These tanks are bein' cranked out, on
thuh spot, at a terrif'nic pace, an' a vast number uh 'em are lined up
along thuh edge uh thuh road with keys in thuh ignishun. Innyone who
wants kin simply climb inta one an' drive it away fer free. *snort*

Custuhmers come tuh this heer crossroads in throngs, day an' nite.
*snort* Ninety percent uh 'em go straight tuh thuh biggest dealership
an' buy stashun wagons ore uhf-road vehicles. *spit* They do not even
look at thuh uthuhr dealerships. *spit*

Uh thuh remainin' ten percent, most go an' buy a sleek Euro-sedan,
pausin' only tuh turn up thuhir noses at thuh philistines goin' tuh buy
thuh stashun wagons an' ORVs. *spit* If'n thuhy even notice thuh folks
on thuh opposite side uh thuh road, sellin' thuh cheaper, technically
superior vehicles, thuhse custuhmers deride 'em cranks an' half-wits.
*spit*

The Batmobile outlet sells a few vehicles tuh thuh occashunal pickem-up
truck nut who wants a secint vehicle tuh go with his stashun wagon, but
seems tuh accept, at least fer now, that tis a frange player.
KnowwhutImean?

The group givin' away thuh free tanks only stays alive 'cuz tis staffed
by volunteers, who is lined up at thuh edge uh thuh street with
bullhorns, tryin' tuh draw custuhmers' attenshun tuh this heer
incredible situashun. A typical conversashun goes sump'm like this:

Hacker with bullhorn: "Save yore money! Accept one uh our free tanks!
Tis invulnerable, an' kin drive across rocks an' swamps at ninety miles
an hour whahl gittin' a hundred miles tuh thuh gallon!"

Prospective stashun wagon buyer: "Ah know whut yew say is true.
*snort*..but...er. KnowwhutImean?..Ah don't know how tuh maintain a
tank!"

Bullhorn: "Yew don't know how tuh maintain a stashun wagon eithuhr!"

Buyer: "But this heer dealership has mechanics on staff. If'n sump'm
goes wrong with muh stashun wagon, Ah kin take a day uhf work, brang it
here, an' pay 'em tuh work on it whahl Ah sit in thuh waitin' room fer
hours, listenin' tuh elevatuhr music."

Bullhorn: "But if'n yew accept one uh our free tanks we'll send
volunteers tuh yore trailer tuh fix it fer free whahl yew sleep!"

Buyer: "Stay away frum muh trailer, yew freak!"

Bullhorn: "But..."

Buyer: "Kin't yew see that everone is buyin' stashun wagons?"

Re: A story about Windows, Mac, & Linux

#1

Author: Desk Rabbit
Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:40

12 lines
1942 bytes

On 17/03/2010 17:18, yurts wrote:
> This is a section from "In the beginning was the command line" by Neal
> Stephenson. Makes fo" excellent reading!
> http://artlung.com/smorgasborg/C_R_Y_P_T_O_N_O_M_I_C_O_N.shtml
>
> "Imagine a crossroads where four competing auto dealerships are

> Bullhorn: "But if you accept one of our free tanks we will send
> volunteers to your house to fix it for free while you sleep!"

Can you send one of those free technicians around to do all my fee 
paying work for me please? I might give him a glass of water in payment.....

🚀 go-pugleaf

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