🚀 go-pugleaf

Hi Jackie!

While I have no background to evaluate your friend and am not a professional in
medicine or social science, I do have some life experiences which might qualify
me to comment on the following:

> I must say I am the only one who thinks that he is ill, my friends and my GP
> all think he is playing a dirty
> play on me. But nobody has ever seen him or spoken to him. He was never long
> enough with me for a meeting with my friends. They are judging from my state
of depression. I was completely healthy as i met him, with no particular
problem.

I have said the same things about myself and found myself in a downward spiral
of confusion about myself, my friends and someone significant in my life ...
more than once.  I found out that I had never established reliable boundaries
for myself; the consequences were disasterous. :/

> Please, help, i am sometimes considering suicide as he regularly comes back
> to me and leaves me destroyed each time. I am no masochist, i really love
> him, but i want to live.

Someone said recently that love is a process.  In this particular case, you seem
to be describing a masochistic process.

Whether or not he decides to 'fix himself' (not to be fixed _by_ you, a
psychiatrist, or a therapist) and to to seek help for himself is completely
beyond your control.  If he works on your sympathies to get you to help 'fix
him', then the game starts again.

All the above is only my observation, gleaned from entirely too much experience
with disasterous (to me) relationships.

Smile and there will be something to smile about!
Nancy