🚀 go-pugleaf

My first pair of cargo shorts. 

For as long as I can remember Ive always worn shorts with an elastic
waistband with two pockets at the side and one in the back. I usually
have a brown pair but Ive also owned a green and a red pair.
 
A year ago for Christmas my Aunt Florence gave me a pair of khaki
cargo shorts, the type that go down right to your knees with eight
pockets and buttons everywhere. I smiled and thanked her politely and
promptly put them in the back of the closet when I got home.

Last week I was walking home from the shops carrying my groceries when
without warning, the elastic in my shorts snapped. I was walking past
an all girls school at the time and all the young female students were
leaving the premises and getting in their parents Mercs and BMWs. And
there I was struggling with my shopping and desperately trying to hold
up my shorts. The fact that I had about $20 in change in my pockets
didnt help matters as the weight was almost yanking my shorts to my
ankles while the young female student of this affluent school were
laughing and pointing at me.  This was one of the most embarrassing
moments of my life, and believe me there have been many.
Finally I got home and put my shopping down and inspected my
malfunctioning shorts. The elastic had just clean snapped. Usually I
can predict to a reasonable degree of accuracy when the elastic is
about to go and purchase a replacement pair but this one caught me by
surprise.

Now Im all alone, my favourite shorts are gone and I know Im going to
have to try on the cargo shorts.

I fished them out of the back of the closet and held them up for
inspection. They looked so big and baggy and I just couldnt imagine
what they would look like on.  I couldnt go ahead with this so quickly
so I decided to go to bed and Id wake up to a new day and a new pair
of shorts.

The next day when I woke up the shorts were exactly where I left them,
still looking all baggy and puffy and daring me to try them on.

I sipped them on and did up all the fastening buttons and the button
fly.  So far so good, the waist felt snug and secure.  I looked down
and was surprised when I could barley see my knees.  I turned to
inspect my shorts in the mirror and it was as if someone had played a
cruel hoax on me and switched my mirror with one from a fun house.  I
looked shorter and squatter than I usually do and the short just
emphasised  my portly figure and stumpy legs.  I ripped my shorts off
and began to sob.  I sobbed for over an hour and I just didnt know
what to do.  Eventually I cried myself to sleep.  The next morning I
decided I needed some help so I called my Aunt Florence, she always
knows what to do.  I explained my predicament and she said she would
be there within 40 minutes.  38 minutes later I heard her car screech
to a halt outside my house.

She spoke quickly and apologised for being rude but said this
situation required swift action.

She told me to put on the shorts and stand in the middle of the living
room.  Aunt Flo then walked around me, sizing me up, inspecting me
from every angle while not saying a word.  Eventually she reached into
her shoulder bag and pulled out an oversized white T-shirt. Try this
on she said.  I slipped the T-shirt on and proceeded to tuck it into
my shorts (like I have always done) and she said Ahhahh..  NOT
TUCKING!!!

So I left the bottom of the oversized T-shirt hanging out and felt
totally stupid as Aunt Flo lead me to the mirror.

I couldnt believe the reflection in the mirror was actually me!  The
T-shirt hid some of my ample frame and de-emphasised my stumpy
stature.

The next day I did my shopping and all went well except for when I was
carrying my groceries home I could feel my shorts slipping ever so
slightly. Im going to rectify this by wearing a belt in future.

Im so lucky I have Aunt Flo to help in situations like this.  She can
be curt at times, but she really gets the job done.

I now have a new found confidence with these shorts like Ive never
felt before.  Im going to new places and doing new things.  Im also
going to add a baseball cap to the assemble.