🚀 go-pugleaf

�All right, we're in!�

In what, Mickey?

�In... some computer system.  Somewhere.  I don't really know the
details, Teeny, I'm just following the instructions in the back of
Ralph's Rules of Superheroics.�

Why?

�It has some really weird things about stories and Authors and stuff...
It seems that anyone can become an all-powerful Author by writing three
episodes of a story.  The tradeoff is that you become as dumb as toast.
Would you like that, Teeny?�

You mean that I would be able to have stimulating conversations with
individual slices of warmed bread?

�Yes.�

And muffins?  And bagels?

�Sure.�

And toaster strudel?

�Um...  Yeah, why not.�

Yay, yay, yay!  Sign me up!

�I thought you might see it that way.  And then, once you have Author
status, you can Edit me up some powers to use in real life!  Then maybe
Spoongirl will like me more...�

But Mickey, I can't write...

�You don't have to.  I hooked mom's old stenography machine into the
computer, see?  All you have to do is speak into the microphone, and the
words will appear on the screen!�

Yay!

�Do you have a series in mind?�

Yes!

�Good.  Then let's roll the title!�


@@@@@   @   @@@@    @@@   @   @   @@@    @@@   @@@   @  The Series
@       @   @   @  @   @  @@  @  @   @  @     @      @
@@@     @   @@@@   @   @  @ @ @  @@@@@  @     @      @   (C) 1996
@       @   @   @  @   @  @  @@  @   @  @     @      @   Astatine
@       @   @@@@    @@@   @   @  @   @   @@@   @@@   @  H. Valence

                   ==Episode #1: Tough Choices==

�Fibonacci: The Series?�

My father used to tell me these stories at bedtime back in Gnerfskin
Falls.

�Okay, whatever.  Go to it, Teeny.�

Right!  Once upon a time, there was an Italian mathematician named
Leonardo Fibonacci.  He lived a place called 13th Century Europe, where
most of the people were very unhappy most of the time.  This was because
they did not have the advanced scientific and mathematical concepts that
the rest of us take for granted.  Just think -- life without integral
calculus!  No theory of relativity!  And when they wanted to multiply
XIX by XXIV, they had to carry XXX into the L's place and XLI into the
C's place, and by that time it was unlikely that they would ever figure
out that the answer was CDLVI.  They also didn't have Twinkies there,
which I think is a crime against humanity.  If I had lived in 13th
Century Europe, I would have moved to a better century.

�This is going to be a superguy story?�

Yes, I'm getting to that part.  Anyway, one day Fibonacci was walking
down the streets of Padua on his lunch-hour, trying to figure out how to
replace Roman numerals with something more practical.  Then, he heard
some shouting, and when he looked over he saw a bank robbery!  "Give me
all of your V's, X's, and XX's!" the bank robber demanded, as he waved
his machinegun at the frightened tellers.

�They had machineguns back then?�

Who's telling this story, you or me?

�Sorry.�

Okay, so poor Fibonacci was torn by this dilemma.  On the one hand,
there was a bank robbery in progress, which he had the power to stop by
introducing Arabic numerals to frustrate the crime.  And on the other
hand, he only had a hour for lunch, and the local McDonalds had a
$IV.XIX special on the new Grilled Chicken Deluxe meal with medium fries
and a soft drink of his choice.  Decisions, decisions, decisions...  He
could have his Chicken Deluxe meal with a coke, or a sprite, or Barq's
rootbeer, or he could pay a little more and get a shake!  Vanilla, yay!
It was low fat, but still not bad, and then he could get a box of those
little McDonaldland chocolate chip cookies to take back to the
university, and maybe another bag of fries to go...  Mmmmmmm!

�Teeny, what about the bank robbery?�

Oh, by that time it was all over and the robber had gotten away.  So
Fibonacci went to lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for
the McDonalds cashier to figure out how to add V% sales tax to $IV.XIX.
Is that it?  Is that enough for a story episode?

�I guess...  The book's not really clear on that.  Just think up some
teaser questions and we're out of here.�

Okay!


DID FIBONACCI GET A VANILLA SHAKE, OR DID HE GO WITH THE CHOCOLATE
INSTEAD?

COULD HE AFFORD TO GET THE COOKIES AS WELL?

DID HE STOP AT FRIENDLY'S ON THE WAY BACK TO WORK FOR DESSERT?

Find out in the next exciting element of the Fibonacci Series!  Yay!
Yay!  Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay!

�*sigh*  You know, maybe this was all a big mistake after all...�

---
Astatine H. Valence                              astatine@eyrie.org

   "Nixon in '96!  Nixon in '00!  Nixon in '04!  Nixon forever!"