🚀 go-pugleaf

    A black van raced through the streets of DC, narrowly avoiding the
inner city traffic.  It ignored the streetlights, and especially ignored
the irate drivers who honked and swore at it.  The van raced on, headed
for the building near the center of DC's Financial District.
    The Atoz Corporation building.
    (Which was currently exhibiting a localized manifestation of
atmospheric disturbance that definitely was causing some area weathermen
to scratch their heads in confusion.)
    The van careened around the corner, and sped into the buiding's
parking garage, conveniently ignoring the automated gate that had been
blocking its path before the van smashed through it.  The black van came
to a screeching halt, and then all was silent.

                       Magnetic Terrapin Studios
                                presents
                       A DownToTheWire Production

                               Z-TEAM #7
                         "Diamonds Are Forever"

                         By Philip Jeremy Moyer

    Inside the van, the Z-Team made hasty preparations for whatever they
were about to encounter.
    "Weapons?" Brontes called out.
    "Check," Fancy replied as he handed the other teammembers their
weapons of choice.
    "Chickens?"
    "Plucked," Louie confirmed.
    "Harnesses?"
    "We're secured.  Um, Bront..." Fancy pointed at the cyborg.
    Brontes looked down at the scortched area on his chest.  "Man, I just
-hate- it when I get heartburn," he muttered, before pulling a new shirt
over his torso.  He then made sure his own harness was tight.  "Right.
Lock and load, people," he added, making sure that all his weapons were
ready.
    Brontes looked at the other two members of his team, who were crouched
in ready positions inside the van doors, and activated his radio.  ::Ok,
standard entrance, on three---::
    The cyborg began counting down on his fingers.
    ::One...::
    Fancy unlocked the side door, and opened it sligtly ajar.
    ::Two...::
    Louie took one last bite of beef jerky, chewed, and swallowed.
    ::THREE!::

    The van's doors slammed open as Fancy and Louie jumped out and darted
for the service entrance.  Brontes was right behind them, although he
didn't need to to take the stairs to reach the raised entrance.  As as the
two smaller men took up ready positions on either side, the cyborg kicked
open the metal double doors.
    "What the?--- Gah!!" exclaimed a guard as the doors banged open and
three men darted through, one of them shooting him in the shoulder.  The
other guard on duty drew his pistol and fired at the intruders, but the
bullets were blocked by a well-placed saucepan.  Before he could reload
his pistol, the weilder of the kitchen implement ran up and knocked him
out.
    *KLONG!* The second guard fell like a sack of potatoes.  The first
guard joined him in dreamland soon after as Fancy punched him out.  The
Z-team hid the guards inside the security booth and ran off down the
nearest corridor.
    Of course, this meant they soon became lost.

    The Z-Team paused at an intersection, looking down three identical
hallways.
    ::Great.  Which way?:: Brontes muttered, waving one of his guns to
point down all three halls.  No resistance was to be seen.  ::No cameras,
either.  Fancy, you got a spell to help?::
    The shorter mage nodded. ::I've got a seeking spell that might help...
lemme--nnngh... dammit...:: Fancy winced as he tried to summon mystical
energies but was hampered by mental pressures.
    ::You sure you're ok, Fancy?:: the cybog asked, concerned.
    Fancy took some deep breaths, trying to calm himself.  ::Yeah... I
think the headache's receding... I hope.::
    ::Ok, it's your call.::
    Fancy concentrated, trying to ignore the headache as he recalled the
spell.  He whistled a quick set of notes, and then chanted a phrase,
setting up the spell.  "Phly tovtha bhamulbi!"  A small spark rose from
his palm, becoming a small winged insect.  With a buzz, it darted down the
left-hand corridor.
    ::Follow that bee!:: Brontes yelled as the three of them chased it.

    The trio ran down hallway after hallway, following the astral bee that
Fancy had summoned.  Oddly enough, there was -no- interference.  No
guards, no secret automatic weapons, no booby traps blocked their path.
But they weren't complaining about that.  Down flights of stairs they ran,
past the first subbasement, the second subbasement, the third subbasement,
the fifth subbasement...
    ::WAIIITAMINUTE!:: Brontes exclaimed, screeching to a halt, causing
his two companions to barrel into him.
    ::Ow!:: Fancy blurted.
    ::Ewf!:: Louie seconded.
    The two men backed away from the cyborg as he turned around and
scanned up and down the stairwell.  ::Where the Hell(tm) did the bee go?::
    ::Eh?:: Fancy blinked, and looked around.  ::Gee, that's weird.  It's
supposed to keep ahead of us...::
    Louie tugged on Fancy's sleeve, and pointed back up the way the came.
::Mon ami, look up there...:: The mage looked up, and saw that the glowing
astral bee was hovering and buzzing anciously at the landing they'd just
passed.
    ::What the heck?:: Fancy muttered as he hurried back up the stairs.
Brontes and Louie were close behind.  ::We went past B1, B2, B3, and then
B5...::  He snapped his fingers.  ::B4 is missing!::
    The astral bee buzzed eagerly, and then vanished into the wall,
leaving the Z-Teamers outside.
    ::Great, NOW where did it go?:: Brontes asked.
    Fancy regarded the blank wall.  ::Must be a hidden door somewhere...::
    Brontes grinned as he unslung one of his heavy grenade launchers.
::Well, don't worry... I've got the key...::  He aimed the gun and fired.
    *BAWOOM!*

    The wall caved in, causing dust and debris to fly everywhere as the
Z-Team took cover.  Once the smoke cleared, they peeked into the hole
Brontes had created.
    ::Well... -this- is cute,:: Brontes commented as the group looked into
a very large and very dark room.  They couldn't tell how big it was, for
the far walls were swallowed up by the shadows, and the only real light
came from the stairwell they were standing in.
    ::I don't like this,:: Fancy muttered.
    ::Oui, mes ami, this smells rotten like yesterday's eggs...:: Louie
agreed.
    ::That's because you forgot to check the freshness date again,::
Brontes grumbled.  ::But enough about breakfast.  Fancy's right.  Either
Atoz is blatantly stupid, overly confident, or --::
    ::It's a trap,:: the other two chorused.
    ::Right.:: the cyborg nodded.  ::And it looks like our advanced recon
reached its destination.:: He pointed out where the glowing insect was
buzzing as it flew towards a solitary light source, deep in the depths of
the cavernous room.
    ::Better go in after it,:: Fancy sighed.
    Brontes held one of his guns in a ready position.  ::'Fraid so.
Everyone in, folks!:: Brontes jumped into the hole in the wall, and Fancy
and Louie followed him soon after.

    The trio entered the dark room, their weapons raised and their senses
peeled for anything that might jump them.  Nothing did, though, so they
proceeded forward into the darkness as their eyes adjusted to the lack of
light.
    ::Seems weird that we don't have a 'welcoming committee',:: Fancy
muttered as he attempted to reach forward with his mystical senses to pick
up anything.  Unfortunately, he still had the faint lingerings of the
headache that MacDeth had inflicted on him with that weird pistol of his,
so detecting anything fine was difficult.
    Brontes, however, had no such problems, seeing as he was using his
cybernetic eyes to see into the infrared spectrum.  But even so, all he
could see were his two companions, appearing as vaugely glowing human
forms in his vision; and the heat from the light from the opening behind
them, which was closing.
    Closing?
    Before the cyborg or the two humans could react, the hole in the wall
contracted, somehow sealing itself and cutting off the remaining glimmers
of light without a sound.
    ::Grrrreeeat,:: Fancy muttered, looking back at where the opening had
been.  ::He's got us -right- where he wants us.::
    ::Out of the frying pan, and into the fire,:: Louie agreed.
    Fancy paused, and gave the cyberchef an askew look, though the latter
couldn't see it.  ::I didn't need that, Louie, I really -didn't-...:: he
mumbled.
    ::Quiet, you two,:: Brontes interrupted.  ::I'm picking up something
up on IR in the distance... it's faint, but it's probably our man.::
    Fancy murmured assent.  ::Guess we shouldn't keep him waiting, then.::
    Brontes nodded, his red optics bobbing with the movement. ::Nope.::
    The Z-Team proceeded further into the darkness.

    ::For a subbasement of a major corporation, this place is remarkably
-empty-,:: Fancy commented as they continued to cautiously walk.  They had
been walking forward in near-total darkness for some time now, and they
hadn't needed to adjust their path once.
    ::Yeah,:: Brontes assented.  ::And it's -way- too big for a DC
building.  Feels eerie.:: He was about to say something more, but a
flicker of light, and the increasing IR signature in front of him, caught
his attention.  ::Hold on, I think we're --::
    "Ah, welcome!  I'm so glad you could make it," a voice echoed
sarcastically through the large, dark chamber.  "It just wouldn't be fair
for me to continue with my plans without having the ones who made them
possible here to witness them!"  And with the sound of multiple switches
flipping, the center of the room was bathed in light, blinding the Z-Team.
    "Gah!" Fancy winced, sheilding his eyes with his free hand as Louie
did the same.  Beside them, Brontes' optics darkened as he focussed on the
man standing in front of them.
    "Atoz."
    "In the flesh," the corporate president confirmed, waving an arm that
was clad with long, wizardly robes.  He was standing next to a large
bubbling cauldron, the flames beneath being what Brontes had originally
seen.  Atoz was also surrounded by several stands, some of which held odd
things that Brontes couldn't (and quite frankly, didn't want to) identify,
and another which held a dry and dusty tome.
    However, one stand held something that was instantly recognizable.
    The Clopman Diamond.
    "You unsavory rapscallion!" Louie exclaimed in a rare moment of
lucidity.  "You've been using us for your feindish recipe of destruction
all along!" he cried, and his hand snapped open, cutting blades ready as
he charged at Atoz.  But, before he could get anywhere, Atoz made a pass
with his hands, and the three Z-teamers were frozen in place before Louie
could reach him or Fancy or Brontes could stop the chef.
    "My, you catch on -quick-, don't you," Atoz grinned at the frozen
chef.  "Remind me to upgrade my opinion of you sometime next week."  Louie
just growled, and snapped his teeth.
    "-Smoooooth- move, Louie," Fancy groaned, and then blinked.  Although
the sudden spell had caught them unawares, it still allowed them to
breathe and speak.  Apparently Atoz knew more about sorcery than he was
letting on... either that, or he just wanted an audience that could talk
back.
    "Let me guess, you're here to heroically stop me before I complete my
Evil Plan(tm)?" Atoz asked his captive audience, an unconcerned smile on
his face.
    "No, we're here because you set us up, then tried to blow us up, and
then tried to have us gunned down." Brontes growled.  "But let's not get
technical."
    "Of course not," Atoz agreed.  "But why should it matter?  You were
merely the means by which I got the diamond back into my possession in the
first place.  Once that was done, I didn't need you, and I had to make
sure you didn't tell anyone else."
    "Just in case the cops caught us.  Efficient," Brontes muttered.
    "Ah, I see you understand," Atoz continued.  "It's so hard to find
good help these days."
    "Then why kill us?" Fancy offered hopefully.
    "Shut up.  I can't leave -any- loose ends hanging around."
    "Then why'd you have us steal a diamond -you- formerly owned?" Fancy
continued, curious.  "Because of the 'Clopman Curse'?"
    "Ah, you've done your homework," Atoz nodded.  "The executive board
was afraid that since we'd bought Clopman Mining, we'd soon fall subject
to the 'Curse', and the company would quickly fold.  They pressured me
into selling Clopman Mining and donating the diamond.  However," Atoz
grinned, "The history books never said anything about a person PRIVATELY
owning the diamond!"  He laughed out loud, filling the cavernous room with
his voice.
    "Uh... huh," Brontes muttered as Atoz calmed down again.  "So, why the
-Hell(tm)- do you want the Diamond?"
    Atoz looked as if ready to go into a long reply, and then paused. "---
No, I don't think so," he grinned.  "Suffice to say, I just want to make
sure things turn out the way -I- want them to.  Call it... my insurance
policy against a Crazed World, shall we?"
    "You mean, your 'plan to take over the world'?" Brontes sneered.
    "If you insist on calling it that, perhaps," Atoz smiled.  "But, in
any case, now that you know too much, I'm afraid I'm going to have to
dispose of you."
    "Wha---HEY!!  But you haven't explained to us your evil plan!"
    "Well, I wouldn't be much of a villain if I did, now would I?"
    "Well, there, is that ---" Fancy admitted.
    Brontes did a double take, even though his head was locked in place.
"Oh, don't tell me you're AGREEING with him, Fancy?!"
    Atoz chuckled as he returned his attentions to the Cauldron and the
mystical items arrayed about it.  "And I -certainly- can't have you in my
way when I cast the spell.  Allen?"
    "Yes, Mr. Atoz?"  The major domo spoke up from where he had been
standing off to the side, watching the proceedings without comment.
    "Take care of the Z-Team for me, won't you?"
    Barnet nodded.  "As you wish, sir."  He pulled out a cell phone, speed
dialed a number, and spoke into it.  "Hello, Rent-A-Ninja?  I would like
to place an order.  Yes, that's right, the standard package, delivered
here.  I beleive you already have our account number.  Thank you."
    Suddenly and without warning, sixty ninjas dropped out of the air,
landing effortlessly on the floor and taking up protective stances around
Atoz and Barnet.  "Kyaaaah!" they chorused, ready to show off their
kung-fu grips.
    "Bwa?" Brontes sputtered. "Ninjas?"
    "Ninjas?" Louie chorused.
    Fancy groaned. "Ninjas.  Why did it have to be ninjas?"
    Atoz smiled as he addressed the new arrivals.  "I do beleive you know
what to do?"
    "Hai!" the lead ninja exclaimed.  He and his brethern turned to face
their frozen opponents.  "Ninja of the Tangled Octopus Clan, MOUKOUGEKI!"
The other ninjas exclaimed their assent, and together, they charged the
Z-Team.

    Now, at this time, you may think that with the Z-Team frozen in place,
and sixty death-dealing ninjas springing to attack, that this series would
end preamturely with the ninjas serving up mercenary chow-mein and cyborg
stir-fry.  Atoz would complete his spell with the Clopman Diamond, achieve
the goals he had sought for so long, and that would be the end of the
series.
    However, since the Z-Team -are- the protagonists in this little drama,
and the Author's the one writing this story, things didn't go quite
exactly as Atoz had planned.  Before the ninjas could reach them, the
spell wore off, and Brontes, Louie, and Fancy quickly dodged out of the
way, leaving a pile of confused ninja where they had once stood.
    As the ninjas tried to untangle themselves, the Z-Teamers quickly took
stock of the situation.
    "Great.  We've got a crazed CEO with a magic fetish in front of us,
Ninjas to the sides of us, and no way we can exit the way we came,"
Brontes muttered as he readied his weapons and took up a protective
stance.  Next to him, Louie was in a similar position, the cutting blades
on his mechanical right hand extended and spinning with an almost eager
whine.
    "So, what do we do now?" Fancy asked, falling into a similar crouch
with his machine gun, although he wasn't too sure about the current odds.
    Brontes grinned, a metallic smile playing across his face.  "The same
thing we do -every- night, Fancy... kick ass and take names!  Go for it,
Louie!"
    With a whoop, the cyberchef jumped forward, a maniac grin on his face
as he dove for the nearest ninja.  The fact that his right palm was doing
its best imitation of a blender gave the ninja pause, and he hurried back
to join the safety of his companions.
    "While we're fighting our way through these extras, you try and keep
Atoz busy!" the cyborg called over his shoulder as he charged ahead, his
guns opening fire, sending ninjas scampering for cover.
    "Keep him busy?  KEEP HIM BUSY?  Dammit, Brontes, I'm an illusionist,
not a combat mage!" Fancy protested, but his two companions had already
dove into the fray.  "Dammit," he muttered, and ducked to avoid a ninja
who'd attempted to knock him out with a flying kick.  Standing back up and
ducking behind a convenient crate, he paused to consider the situation.
    On the one hand, there was Brontes, using his available weaponry to
keep the ninjas off-balance as they jumped and dodged. Occasionally, he
did actually manage to hit one or two, but he was forced to keep moving by
the onslaught of thrown shiruken, rubber chickens, throwing stars,
grenades, copies of the Watchtower, and limburger cheese.
    On the other hand, there was Louie, who looked to be enjoying this
experience way too much, charging at the ninjas with a carving knife in
his one hand, and with his cyberhand set to 'puree' on the other.  The
ninjas were not pleased by his combat style, and did their best to keep
from becoming his next culinary masterpiece.
    And then there was himself, hiding behind a crate while trying to
avoid any ninjas flying his way (either self-propelled or by Brontes or
Louie) and trying to figure out what to do about the CEO/Mage in the
center of the room.
    Fancy sighed.  It looked like it was going to be a very long night.

    While Fancy was trying to figure out how to stop a possibly crazy CEO
with delusions of Magehood while keeping his mind and body intact, Brontes
and Louie were dealing with their own particular set of problems.
    "WHY--- DON'T--- YOU--- BLOODY--- STAY--- STILL--- DAMMIT?!?!?!"
Brontes roared, as he constantly had to re-aim and re-target his shots at
the dancing and dodging ninjas while at the same time keeping out of the
way of their deadly implements of destruction.  Not that his armored
exterior couldn't take the punishment from melee weapons, it's just that
it would cost a lot money to get all the dings and scratches out.  Also,
getting hit, by any means, did hurt.
    "We shall never stay still, gaijin!" a ninja crowed as he jumped from
above and behind, a long spear in his hands ready to run the cyborg
through.  "The Tangled Octupus Clan never lets up--ARRGH!" the ninja
arrghed as Brontes pivoted effortlessly and sent several rounds flying
into the ninja's chest.  The ninja's body fell to the ground, lifeless,
and his spear fell to the floor.  With a quick stomping motion, Brontes
flipped the spear into his free hand and sent it flying, impaling two more
ninjas and mounting them on an empty wall.  He then returned to using his
guns to maximum effect, shooting ninja and scenery in order to trap them.
    At the same time, Louie was dealing with his particular set of
problems with his own particular flair and elan'.  Ducking below a ninja
who charged at him, nunchucks spinning, he performed an effortless leg
sweep that sent the ninja sprawling.  With a howl, the cyberchef sprang
back up and gave the prone ninja a -very- close shave with his carving
knife, a shave that would have done Sweeney Todd proud.  With the ninja
dispatched, Louie began looking for new targets.  He didn't have to look
far.
    A ninja sprang at him, his katana blade held forward for a quick
thrust.  Louie parried the blade with his knife, and charged forward with
his spinning cyberhand in an attempt to eviscerate his opponent, but was
only met with empty space.  A hiss of air served as warning, and the chef
ducked before the ninja could make him a member of the "Headless Horsemen"
assocication.  However, Louie did not escape unscathed.
    "My hat...." Louie gasped as his chef's hat was sliced in half, and
both parts fell to either side of him.  "MY HAT!!!  HOW DARE YOU!!!" the
cyberchef cried out to the ninja, who was standing well away from his hand
and knife.
    "So!  You would dare challenge the Greased Lightning of the Tangled
Octopus Clan?" the ninja replied in an imperious tone, his katana raised
in a classic stance.  "Know then that I, Sesovucci Cainu, have accepted
your challenge!  Prepare yourself!"  And with a japanese battle cry, he
jumped at Louie, his blade almost vanishing as he made an impossible
number of forward jabs with his sword.
    "Eep!" Louie jumped back, and began desperately parrying.

    From his vantage point behind a crate, Fancy watched the exchange
between Louie and Cainu, and blinked.  "An Italian ninja?" Fancy asked
himself out loud.  What he didn't expect was for someone to reply.
    "The Tangled Octopus Clan highly respects calamari," a voice whispered
in his ear, and Fancy spun in shock.  Behind him, leaning close, was a
ninja.  A female one, most definitely so, as evidenced by the black ninja
gi which followed her body like a second skin and her purple hair tied
back for efficiency.
    Fancy's hand shot for his pistol, but before he could raise it into a
firing position, the kunoichi deftly spun, kicking the gun out of his hand
and stinging his wrist in the process.  "OW!  Wha.... who are you?" the
mage stammered as he fell back and nursed his right hand.
    "I am Xian Pu, one of the Tangled Octopus Clan's most accomplished
warriors," the female ninja purred confidently.  "As you can see, I have
disarmed you, and soon, you shall be dead."
    "Um.. there's one thing you should know..." Fancy managed to state as
he backed away from Xian Pu, who continued to approach.  He dug his
unharmed left hand into his jumpsuit's pockets, searching for something,
-anything- he could use against the ninja.  Abruptly, his hand closed
around something.
    "Oh?  And what is that?" the female ninja smiled, coming closer.
    With a quick, desperate motion, Fancy tossed the aformentioned
something at Xian Pu.  Within 15 milliseconds, she recognized the object
being thrown as being apparently nonlethal, and thereby safe to catch;
and within 25 more milliseconds, she fluidly grabbed the object from the
air and examined it.
    It was a small, pink, mechanical bunny with a tin drum strapped to its
stomach.
    Pu blinked, confused.  "Eh?"  This was -not- what she had been
expecting.
    She wasn't expecting the elbow to her stomach that came a second
after, either.
    "OOOF!" Pu exhaled, doubling over and gasping for air, dropping the
mechanical bunny in the process.  As she tried to recover and regain her
bearings, another blow came, straight for her chin, slamming her jaw into
her skull.  The ninja's vision swam from the shock, and then mercifully
blacked out.
    "Hot damn," Fancy muttered to himself as the kunoichi slumped to the
floor, unconcious.  "It actually worked."  Taking care of his right hand
(which was now smarting pretty badly), he dragged the ninja behind some
crates.  And then, in an apologetic gesture, he retreived the pink bunny
and laid it atop her.
    "Sorry 'bout that," he mumbled an apology before turning to search for
another hiding spot, closer to Atoz.

    "Hanchou!" a ninja proclaimed as he appeared next to the Rent-A-Ninja
team leader.
    "Yes?  What is it?" the leader replied as he and his subordinate
dodged a stray grenade that Brontes threw their way.
    "Honorable leader, although we are many and the enemy is few, they
still have the upper hand," the ninja explained as they rolled away from
the explosion of the aformentioned grenade.  "Their weapons are more
advanced than ours, and they have more of them!"
    "Fool!" the ninja leader upbraided his subordinate.  "We are ninjas of
the Tangled Octopus Clan!  Even though their weapons may be
technologically superior, we can use our secret techniques to disarm them,
and then -we- will have the upper hand!  Gather the remaining warriors,
quickly!" The subordinate was quick to obey.  He spread word to the
survivors, who gathered around their leader, awaiting his orders.
    "My fellow clansmen," the lead ninja explained as the ninjas huddled
around him, "the situation is dire!  We have lost many of our number, and
some of our finest warriors have fallen!  But, our Clan shall prevail over
these heathens!  For, we have -- the Yobigoe Seibo Technique!"
    The ninjas muttered among themselves, in awe that this legindary
technique would actually be used in the battle.
    "Ninjas of the Tangled Octopus Clan!" the lead ninja commanded.
"Juushichi!  Juusan!  Tsutsu!  Nijuu!  Juugo!  Shichi!  Ni!  Ichi!
HIKE!!"
    "HAI!"
    The ninjas jumped into action once more.

                    [To Be Concluded in Part Two]


Philip Moyer----------------Qapla'-------------pmoyer@jurai.net
"To boldly go where no one has gone before!"-Capt. J. L. Picard
"Roads? Where we're going we don't NEED roads!"-Dr. E. L. Brown
   "If it can be dreamed, It can be done."- ReRob Mandeville
"Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection, The Lovers,
---------- The Dreamers, and Me."- Kermit The Frog ------------