🚀 go-pugleaf

    St. Louis, Missouri. A rather nice sized city, with a big, weird-lookin'
metallic arch just sorta sitting in the middle of it. A few months before, St.
Louisians had looked to the west, and seen the mushroom cloud rising from the
explosion of the Invid Hive and the central TONN base. Now, that entire area was
quiet, save for the constant Government activity as they tried to figure out
what the Hell(tm) had been going on. Except for the occasional thrill-seekers,
nobody went out there.
    Slightly to the south of the city, in a rather run-down part of the sub-
urban area, was Vinnie's Bar. What the Hell(tm) does this have to do with the
Hive? Wait for it, geez, it's coming. Anyway, despite its name, Vinnie's was not
a criminal hangout. In fact, it was a good bit nicer than the area that
surrounded it, mainly because the bartender was bigger than any of the people
who lived in the area that surrounded it. He wasn't by any definition, a bad
person, and since his bar had been the place that the TONNGuards and their Invid
allies had come to party, he'd seen damn near everything.
    That last bit is just begging for it...
    The bar's two patrons, who were in a rather advanced state of inebriation,
were finishing off their thirty-second Schlitz Ice when a subtle, pinkish glow
began to suffuse the bar.
    "What th' Hell(tm)?" Vinnie the bartender muttered, shrugging it off as an
odd atmospheric effect.
    The air shimmered and rippled, as though something were struggling to break
free. There was an almost tangible pink mist, now, hanging in the center of the
room, over one of the bar tables.
    "Heyyyy, look't tha'..." one of the patrons, whose name happened to be Bert,
commented. "Thash neat, eh Arnold?"
    "Urp." Arnold commented, gesturing weakly at his empty beer mug.
    The bartender reached for it, to add more Schlitz, but thankfully, before he
could do so, the pink mist coalesced into a portal, from which a woman fell out,
landing painfully on the table.
    "Ey!" Vinnie said, falling back on traditional bartender line #6: "So,
what'll it be?"
    "I could really go for a Slurpee..." the woman said, before passing out.

                    BLORG TREK II: The Wrath of Adm. Morgan
                                    Part 3
                                by Jesse Taylor
             We're Not In Continuity, Even Though We're Ready For It

"There is an old Klingon saying... 'Revenge is a dish best served cold'... It's
very cold in space..."
    -- Khan, "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan"

    "Hnnnggg..." Devran said, struggling to open her right eye. It stubbornly
refused to open, so she made the attempt again on her left eye, managing to
force it open a few millimeters.
    "Ah! I see you're awake!" said a cheerful voice from out of her field of
view.
    "Only by the barest definition of the word..." Devran groaned. "Who the
Hell(tm) are you?!"
    "Hmph." replied the voice, now with a miffed tone to it. "I'm surprised you
don't recognize me -- your arch-enemy."
    "Morgan!" Devran snarled.
    "Ah, the razor-sharp intellect at work again..." Admiral Morgan chuckled,
walking into Devran's arc of view. "I suppose you'll be wanting me to reveal my
entire evil plot to you, and gloat dramatically for a while before leaving you
alone to try and escape?"
    Devran, about this time, managed to force both eyes open -- but she was
barely able to make out Admiral Morgan against the harsh back lighting from the
several 'generic interrogation style' floodlights. "Well, if you wouldn't
mind..."
    "Hah!" Morgan laughed, "I've fallen for that trick once too many times! Not
a chance..."
    "Aw, please..." Devran whined. "Just one little hint?"
    "Nope." Morgan said, shaking her head. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to
go blow up the Earth... Thanks for letting me use your ship!"
    "Wait!!" Devran shouted, but Morgan had already left. "Damn! If she's gotten
the ship, then she must've already neutralized Ha'Veluri and the others... Looks
like it's up to me, again..."

<----->

    Turalyn sighed, and plopped down three six-packs of Zima Malt Beverage on
Raji's counter.
    "Ah! A pleasure to be serving you, customer-type-person!" Raji exclaimed.
"That'll be... uhm... 27 dollars..."
    Turalyn blinked. He had gone through a lot of currency in his years as a
smuggler. He had seen GalactiPounds, he had seen Credits, he had seen I-Bills,
and he'd even run into a couple cultures that used Spooge as currency. But never
in his many years in space had he ever heard of a 'dollar'.
    "I don't suppose you take Ninto Empire Credits?" he offered.
    "I do not go about dealing in foreign currency!" Raji said, "You must be
producing money if you are to be purchasing my beverages!"
    Turalyn hesitated for only a second before hauling out his blaster pistol.
"Sorry, but I need this stuff."
    "WAAAAAAAAH!" Raji yelled, slapping the 'Panic!' button under the counter.
Two caseless machine guns popped out of their hidden emplacements in the Potato
Chips displays and opened up at Turalyn.
    Only the smuggler's trained reflexes allowed him to dodge the twin streams
of lead that nearly cut him in two. He did a neat, cinematic roll-behind-cover,
and blasted both guns out of their emplacements. Before Raji could activate the
7-11's other defenses, Turalyn had grabbed the Zima and ducked out the door.
    "Aaaargh!" Raji yelled, "Oh well, at least there was not being too much
damage..."
    As Turalyn hurried away from the 7-11, he paused for a moment when he heard
the machine-guns' ammunition explode, blowing the 7-11 apart. "Ooops..." he
muttered, heading for his shuttlecraft.

<----->

    "Grraaaauuuurr!"
    "Rrrraaaaarrrr!"
    "RRaaaaarrrrrg!"
    "Dammit, Ha'Veluri, SHUT UP!" Fractalman griped, "Yowling about all this
isn't going to help any..."
    "I second that..." Science Guy said. The entire crew of the Blorg Star, with
the exception of the Captain, had been locked in prison cells on board the other
ship -- something which had annoyed them all no end. "Just give me a moment to
mix a couple chemicals I had hidden on my person, and we should be out of
here..."
    "You keep chemicals in your pockets?" Fractalman asked. "Geez, you must have
to really be careful when you wash your pants..."
    "No, you twit..." Science Guy grumbled, "I had some stashed in a secret
compartment in my boot -- I find that having a few strong acids stored away for
just such an occurrence can be quite useful."
    "We need to get out of here -- and fast..." Ha'Veluri snarled. "If they harm
the Captain..."
    "Relax, big guy..." Fractalman said, "If they wanted to do us in, they would
have done it when we were all unconscious."
    "Still, why wasn't the Captain imprisoned with the rest of us?" Ha'Veluri
worried. "I hope whoever is responsible for this doesn't have anything special
planned for her..."
    "Got it!" Science Guy exclaimed. There was a sizzling noise, and the door to
his cell fell outwards. As alarms started ringing, the scientist rushed over to
Ha'Veluri's cell, applying his acidic compound there, too.
    "Nobody mov-AAAAAAAUUUUGGGHHH!" a guard said, rushing in. Ha'Veluri picked
him up and threw him against several other guards who were waiting outside.
Science Guy began breaking open the other cells as Ha'Veluri kept the guards out
of the prison area.
    "You know, I'm surprised they don't have better security on this
spaceship..." Fractalman wondered, using his energy blasts to blow open another
cell.
    "Don't knock it, it works..." Science Guy hissed, moving to free the other
crewmen.

<----->

    Devran concentrated her heat projecting on the manacles -- with no result.
Apparently Morgan had gotten some made of some sort of heat-impervious
substance... She stopped working at them when the floodlights snapped off.
    "Ok, Morgan..." she hissed, "What now?"
    "I just thought you'd like to know..." a voice crackled on a speaker
somewhere in the room. "We'll be entering Earth orbit soon, and we'll be using
your precious ship to destroy it into tiny pieces. Since there's no possible way
you could escape from those superstrongium manacles in time to stop me from
utterly destroying the planet, I'll fill you in on my plan..."
    "It's about time!" Devran remarked. "I was wondering when we were going to
get some good, quality exposition in this episode..."
    "(sigh)," Morgan's voice sighed. "Yes, yes, I changed my mind about telling
you about my plans... Anyway, remember that weapon that Tris installed? She put
it there so that I, who knew how to use it, would be able to. The Brownian
Motion Cannon requires one of the most powerful substances in the universe -- a
cup of tea! Copying the pseudorandom motions of the tea, the BM Cannon imparts
those motions on the target -- literally tearing apart at the molecular level!
And, the best thing is, everyone will think it's _you_, who is destroying the
planet! Thus, in one fell swoop, I get my revenge on both you and those fools
who helped you defeat me!!"
    "Same old Morgan..." Devran said, conversationally. "Well, you know I'll
have to stop your evil plans, now... This doesn't sound so hard."
    Morgan chuckled. "Ever the optimist, eh? I think not. Anyway, we'll be in
firing range soon. And the room you're in is one of the ones that will be used
by the Cannon to vent its' extra heat after firing... Have fun being boiled
alive.... Oh, and even if you _do_ somehow escape, I've got 10 of my best
soldiers guarding that deck."
    "Ok, maybe this _will_ be hard..." Devran grumbled, focusing her heating
powers on the manacles once more.

<----->

    "Ma'am!" one of Admiral Morgan's Space Marines shouted, running onto the
small bridge of the assault ship that they had used to board and take over the
Blorg Star. "We've got an escape in the prison block!"
    "What?!" Lichun yelled. "Impossible! (and call me sir, dammit!)"
    "Yes, ma'am, sir! The escapees have overwhelmed two squads of troops, sir,
and are on their way to the bridge!"
    "No!!" Lichun gasped. "Comm Officer!! Alert the Admiral of the situation,
and request reinforcements!" The Nintan sighed and leaned back in her command
chair. "I don't know why she wanted us to stay here and guard the rest of the
crew instead of simply disposing of them. Perhaps she wanted us to blow them out
into space or something so Devran could watch..."
    "I'm putting out the communication, now..." the Comm Officer said. He was
interrupted when an energy blast blew him out of his seat, and accidentally
shredded half the bridge's control consoles.
    "I think your fingers aren't going to be doing any walking, today..."
Fractalman said, dramatically. Everyone turned to look at him. "Hey! It wasn't
_that_ bad..."
    "Party's over." Ha'Veluri snarled, moving towards Lichun.
    "I think not..." she replied, assuming a martial arts stance.
    "I think so." Ha'Veluri said calmly, slashing with his claws (being a
massive feline anthropomorph does have its advantages). Lichun leaped over the
slash, kicking him in the head and following up with a lightning punch that
staggered Ha'Veluri back several feet.
    "I _really_ don't think so." Lichun said, determinedly. She noted that none
of her bridge crew were moving to fight, and that none of the Blorg Star's crew
were moving to aid Ha'Veluri... "A battle for proxy, then? The winner takes the
ship? Any more damage the bridge would probably destroy the ship, anyway, and
that would kill all of us..."
    "Agreed..." Ha'Veluri said, wiping a thin line of blood from his muzzle.
    "Ha-AAAAIII!" Lichun shouted, launching a flying kick at Ha'Veluri. This
time he was ready, and countered with a roundhouse right that blew her backwards
across the bridge to slam into the main viewscreen, where she hung for a moment,
suspended, before slowly sliding to the floor.
    "I win." he said, coldly, as the Blorg Star's crew moved to secure the
bridge.

<----->

    Devran braced against the wall as she tried something different... There was
no room like this on the Blorg Star -- so Morgan had probably built this little
chamber somewhere in the ship's heat sink system... Which meant that all the
furnishings were probably pretty weakly attached to the walls... Focusing a
blast of heat that would have slagged nearly any normal metal, she attacked the
wall around where the manacles were bolted in. And pulled....
    And the manacles were ripped free from the wall. Both they and the wall were
undamaged, but the heat had melted the duct tape sticking the manacles to the
wall.
    "Duct tape?" she wondered aloud. "Damn. Our Author must be skimping on the
Sets budget again..."
    "Now..." she thought, "It's me, a trained superheroine versus ten generic
science fiction Space Marines in armored spacesuits armed with energy
weapons..."
    She gulped. "I'm dead..."

<----->

    Morgan sighed and idly paced the bridge of the Blorg Star, ignoring her
troops as they scurried around, cementing their control of the ship. In the main
viewscreen, she could see the assault carrier as it flew escort for them. And
looming before them was the blue-white sphere that had been her home for the
past year. So what if the Earth blew up? With Turalyn on it... And of course,
her two old henchmen, Grounder and Metalhead... She could have made the effort
to find them and warn them, but heck, they were only henchies... A pity
actually. But once Earth was gone, she could begin upgrading the shipbuilding
capacities of the Grey October, to build a fleet of ships that could conquer the
entire sector... Yes, this time, the universe _would_ be hers!

IS DEVRAN GONNA DIE???
WILL HA'VELURI AND DEVRAN AND Co. MANAGE TO STOP MORGAN'S EVIL PLOT???
WILL THE EARTH BE BLOWN INTO TINY BITS IN A BLAST OF PSEUDORANDOM ENERGY???
IF IT DID, WOULD IT IMPROVE MORGAN'S CHANCES FOR 'MOST TOTALLY EVIL'???

OH, WHAT THE HEY... IT'S SUPERGUY!!