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                              RADIAN & SHADEBEAM
                                  Episode 33
                            (Timeline, Part Seven)
                                    "Flow"
                                      by
                                 Gary W. Olson


                     "Here's the witness and the victim
                      Here's the relative's remains
                      Here's the well-known double helix
                      Here's the poisoned waves of grain
                      Here's the song of shear and torsion
                      Here's the bloodbath magazine
                      Here's the harvest of contusions
                      Here's the narcoleptic dream"

                                       - Warren Zevon,
                                         "Transverse City"


                                    -<=*=>-

     "Er, I hesitate to ask," Carmine said, "but how long will it take for us
to collect enough energy for this all to work?"
     "That depends on how efficiently the Magestrix works," Zen Navigator
said.  "They must set up seventeen channeling nodes, then evacuate into space
and cast a communal spell of Painful Annihilation, Ecological Disaster, and
Irritating Jock Itch.  So long as we keep a low profile, they should ignore us."
     Three figures appeared in a sudden blast of light, and cast damage spells
at Shadebeam, Zen, Karina, Carmine, and Andro', narrowly missing.
     "Let me guess," Shadebeam groused.  "Step one in keeping a low profile is
to keep away from important religious buildings like, say, the Temple of the
Sun God, right?"
     "Right!" Zen said, brightly.  He paused.  "Oh.  Hmmm."
     "Surrender, and your lives will be spared," the lead mage, whose face
bore a disturbing resemblence to Flipper's tail.
     "Wait," Shadebeam said.  "How about *you* surrender, and I don't transform
you into post toasties, which would insult your intelligence a lot more than
it would mine."
     "And *why* should we listen to you?" the mage to Flipper's left asked,
making exaggerated scowling gestures with his foreheads.
     "I'm the Sorceress Superlative," Shadebeam said.
     "Impossible," the mage to Flipper's right scoffed.  "Tara is on Earth."
     "Who?" Andro' inquired, against his better judgement.
     "Tara, the true Sorceress Superlative," the guy with the foreheads said.
"Young tike, barely ten years old, but darker in her heart than the void of
space.  Last I heard, she and some chump name'a Gil Gerard..."
     "Gilgamesh," Flipper corrected.
     "Right," foreheads said.  "She and this chump are having some sort of
epic battle.  I've got a fortune saying she'll be using his testicles for
paperweights by the time we finish this intervention and get back to Ono
Polono Kimono."
     "Why are you telling us this?" Karina asked.
     "She said she's the Sorceress Superlative, and she can't be," Flipper
said.
     "Yeah?" Shadebeam asked.  "Like I'm going to believe anything a Sea
World reject like you would say!"
     "Prove it!" foreheads demanded.  "Come on, I dare you!"
     "All right," Shadebeam said.  "Try this one on for size."  She started
saying the words, the words to a spell she felt in her head, through the
quantum haze that prevented her from using her magic all that well.  It was
a spell that would make the ground rise up to the stars, ever reaching.
     She cast the spell, and Kasey Kasem materialized, proceeding to kiss
all three mages directly on what passed for their mouths before fading away.
     *Wrong spell,* Symon sighed.  *That was the spell of keeping your feet
on the ground, and keeping reaching for the stars.*
     "I was close," Shadebeam said.
     "We are under attack!" Flipper shouted into what looked like a clam, which
was attached to his chest.  He wiped his mouth off, and began a complicated
chant, one that would reduce those he faced to dust.  Before he could complete
it, a flying bullet caused a substantial chunk of his head to no longer be
with him.
     "Presto," Karina said.  Foreheads and the other mage quickly barked out
teleportation spells, disappearing in thin clouds of smoke.
     "That was over quickly," Carmine said.
     Just then, forty more mages materialized, in attack postures.
     "I sense this will not be," Zen added.

                                    -<=*=>-

     Akane had lost track of the doors she had ran through.  Doors of vision,
doors of perception.  Lots of doors.  Big doors, little doors.  Screen doors,
oak doors, glass doors.  Doors that didn't exist, except in her head.
     Behind the last door was a garden.
     She walked along the path, as Kyoko and China walked alongside her.
Flora and fauna were growing, expanding visibly as they passed.  Or they were
regressing, returning to the ever shifting garden beds.
     A rabbit hopped out of a cannabis patch and faced her.
     "Well?" it asked.  "Have you decided?"
     Akane blinked.  It wasn't a rabbit at all, but rather a weasel wearing
a playboy bunny outfit.
     "I don't got all millenium, dearie," it told her, showing her its
watch.  The minute hand was moving forward, but the hour hand was progressing
backwards, and was making better time, so to speak, than the minute hand.
"Are you going to help us Deliver the world or what?"
     -Hey, I know you,- Kyoko said.  -You're that weasel that was running
around in the rabbit suit in the Looking Glass Land.  Is that where we are?-
     If the weasel heard her, it gave no sign.
     "Where am I?" Akane asked.
     "Not *again,*" the weasel said.  "Haven't we told you already?  You're
in the TransDemesne.  I'm Chad.  Phiel, me, and..."  Chad stopped, and peered
at Akane closely.  He took out a set of bifocals from his suit and peered at
her through them.  Abruptly, his eyes widened.
     "Out!" he whispered.  "Out!  Out!  Out!"  Before Akane could ask what he
meant by that, the weasel scampered back into the cannabis patch, which had,
while no one was looking, turned into strawberries.
     *I don't think he liked us,* China said, watching him disappear.
     -He also didn't see us,- Kyoko added.  -Like we were back in the Realm
Physical.  But we aren't.-  She paused, looking back at the patch.  -Are
we?-
     Akane was walking farther down the path, as greenery wove a delicate,
ever-changing pattern around her.  It felt like a vision.  It also felt real.
     Ahead of her, two girls, one in a pink dress and white sun hat, the
other in a white dress and pink sun hat.  Akane recognized the one in the
pink dress as herself, at age ten.  She looked at Kyoko, and back at herself.
Utterly identical.  But who was the other?
     The tableu was frozen.  Then-Akane was looking at the girl in the white
dress with some amazement.  Her eyes were wide, and questioning, as they
looked into the eyes of the other.  The other looked frightened, and hopeful.
Something had happened, mere seconds before, or perhaps decades ago.
     The other was Karina Selanova.  She had to be.
     "I...I had no idea..." she heard herself say.  But it wasn't her now-
self, or her still-frozen then self.
     "You were cruel, Akane," she heard her uncle telling her.  "But isn't
that what children are best at?"
     *Over there,* China said, pointing.
     Akane could see them, seated on a marble bench, watching the girls.  She
recognized herself, even though her hair was long again, down to the middle
of her back, and she was wearing a black tank top and a silver ankh around her
neck.  Beside her sat Shadebeam, who appeared to be stifling a yawn.  Shade's
hair was longer too, as though she'd been growing it out.  It was still blonde,
though, which puzzled Akane.
     Her Uncle Ho sat on her other side.  Elvis, he looked old.  She couldn't
ever remember him looking so withered, or so tired.
     They paused, and looked up at her, expectantly.  Akane blinked, and
smiled, weakly.  The two young girls became unstuck in time, looked at her,
blinked, and vanished.  The three on the bench vanished as well, as did the
bench.  Akane could feel it in her cells, as time changed directions yet again,
and realized she had to find a way out of this place fast, before it tore her
apart.
     She took a step, and was very startled when her body fell apart,
dissolving into blood.

                                    -<=*=>-

     "Hey, cheer up," Carmine said.  "It's five of us against...um...fourty..."
     "Eighty," Andro' corrected, as more mages materialized.
     "...eighty of them," Carmine said.  "Those are good odds, right?"
     "For them," Karina replied.  "Not for us."
     "We could run away," Shadebeam suggested, helpfully.
     "To where?" Andro purred.  "They've got us surrounded."
     "I wish I'd told myself I'd die like this," Zen said to himself.  "Then
I'dve never made that left turn at Albuquerque."
     The air was filled with chanting, and ritual gestures were being made by
all the alien mages in front of them.  Shadebeam started her own spell but
realized it was far too late, and that her control was far too inadequate to
make much difference at this point.
     The air then split, as a huge burst of energy rushed through it, creating
a terrifying and deadly explosion when it impacted.  Only, it hadn't come from
any of the mages, or anyone on her side.  Shadebeam looked behind her, and
nearly jumped when she saw two hundred very well tanned Californian men and
women in skin tight armor, carrying large quantities of offensive weaponry.
The mages more than nearly jumped when they saw them, and quickly redirected
their attack spells at the new combatants.
     "Quickly!" Zen Navigator told them.  "Get to the Temple!"
     The battle was unfolding as the soldiers parted to let them through.
Near the base of the temple, they met the person they presumed was the
commander of this particular fighting force (she had a slightly deeper tan
than the rest, and was wearing a cutoff t-shirt over her armor that read
'General Babe.')  She was talking to Ranmikoto.
     "Well, like, I think we can, like, hold them off, y'know?" she was
saying.  "I like...oh, hi!  You must be, like, the civilians we're, like,
protecting, like, right?"
     They looked around.  Seeing no one else, they nodded.
     "Bitchin!" General Babe said.  "Hey, priest dude, how long we have to,
like, keep this up?"
     "The magicalypse will occur in precisely twenty three minutes," Ranmikoto
told her.  "At ten minutes to, begin to fall back towards the temple.  The
Magestrix will not be pressing you at this point, as they must set up the
node for this place.  Once this is done, they will evacuate from the planet.
At that time, you will descend to Deepsleep, where your capsules await.  Any
questions?"
     "Like...you lost me after, like, that weird word you used," General Babe
told him.  "What's a magicalypse?"
     "Magical apocalypse," Ranmikoto explained.
     "Oh!" General Babe said, brightly.  "And, like, what was, like, the rest
of what you said, again?"
     "Look, it's simple," Andro purred up at her.  "Shoot at them.  When they
leave, go back to sleep.  Got it?"
     "Like, that made sense!" General Babe said, looking down.  "Like, a
talking cat!  Cool!"  She picked up Andro and hugged him firmly to her armored
chest.
     -Oof,- Andro commented.  -She could've removed the armor first.  Ow.-
     *You love it, you know you do,* Symon replied.
     "Any word on Radian?" Carmine asked.
     "She will be returning shortly," Ranmikoto told him.  "It is the wish of
my master that she leave this world and this time unharmed.  Thus, it shall
be so."
     "Tell your master," Karina started, "that he can stuff his..."
     A disintegrate spell impacted against the Temple, damaging the ancient
stone, but not penetrating it very far.  Shadebeam sensed that it was protected
by spells far stronger than any being used in the conflict, and that it would
survive the upcoming magically-induced disaster.
     She also noticed that the air was distorting, and that something...
someone...was appearing in the air above the battle.  His tan was so deep it
hurt her eyes to look at it.  His smile reminded her of the Cheshire Cat's.
     "Like, okay, dudes," The Rad said.  "Who's, like, attacking my Temple,
like, y'know?"
     There was another distortion of spatial dimensions, and The Rad's twin
was in the air, facing The Rad.  He was as pale as the Earth's moon, bone white
and grim.
     "Your pitiful Temple is the least of your worries, my Divine brother,"
The Dar said.  "I'm going to annihilate you, even if I have to destroy this
planet to do it!"
     The Rad's divine response was a rude gesture popular the galaxy over.
     "Yeah," Andro' said.  "They look real interested in seeing us get out of
here."
     "We've got to be ready," Karina said.  "I...hey, where'd Ranmikoto go?"

                                    -<=*=>-

     She had turned to blood, but she did not fall.  Instead, her form began
to collapse, as she flowed through the air, arms dissolving into the stream,
legs leaving the floor, body becoming liquid.  She was arching through the
garden, heading for the only door she could see.
     *Relax,* China told her.  *Don't panic.*
     *This...this...this is weird,* Akane said.
     *You'll get used to it,* China said.  *I live this every second, you
know.*
     *How...am I...*
     *Shhh.  Flow through the doorway.  Concentrate on seeing.*
     They were out of the garden, and into...
     ...Akane realized she had no idea what this room was supposed to be.  It
was...big.  Really big.  A lot bigger than it really needed to be, seeing as
that all it consisted of was a path to a circular landing in the center of
the chamber, far above wherever the base of the pillar that the landing on was.
Four poles at the edges of the circle jutted upwards, disappearing into the
skylight, somewhere overhead.
     Equidistant from the four poles, about ten feet above the landing, a black
ball hovered, glowing ominously.
     <<Hello, Akane,>> it seemed to say.
     *Who...what are you...?* Akane tried to ask.
     <<I am ARCANA,>> it replied.
     *But...you sound like HAL,* Akane said.
     <<This is not the time for you to be here, especially under the influence
of the Tofu,>> ARCANA said.  <<Your sister is searching for you.  See the
opening thirty feet down, to your right?>>
     Her vision was omnidirectional.  *Yes.*
     <<Enter it, and resume your human form.  Hurry.>>
     Akane heard the note of urgency in ARCANA's voice, and poured over the
edge of the pathway, arcing down towards the light that had to be the opening
in question.  This had to be a vision...
     ...and then she was solid again, in her clothes, as before.  The room she
was in was antiseptically clean, and aggrevatingly white.  It appeared to be
a sickbay of some sort, judging from the beds and from the arrays of instruments
available.  A light over an open doorway flashed 'this way to paradise.'
     Akane touched her body.  Solid.  Why was the Tofu giving her these
visions?  What did they have to do with The Rad, or with Planet California?
     She was almost to the door, when she spotted another room.  She paused,
the hairs on the back of her neck prickling.  Before she could talk herself out
of it, Akane was in the next room, a room that consisted of three tables, and
three dead humanoid-shaped bodies.
     The first was a male -- Andro', it appeared.  His body didn't appear cold,
and aside from the fact that a large part of his chest was missing, he looked
rather tranquil.
     The second body made her stop short.
     Glum.
     Her body seemed shattered.  Whole sections were missing, as though whoever
had found it hadn't been able to find it all.  Her long black hair had been
cut short.
     Why was she here?
     The third body was less shocking, even though it was in the same
condition.  After all, it was her own.
     -Grisly,- Kyoko commented.  -What happened?-
     *The question should be, what will happen?* China corrected.
     "I don't know," Akane said.  "This body is not much older than I.  Less
than a year, I think."
     A sound made her turn.  One would have thought she would be used to
shocking sights by now, but this one caught her completely off guard.
     "Beowulf!" she exclaimed.
     Beowulf, or what appeared to be Beowulf, said nothing.  A small cannon
leapt out of his forearm, and his fingertips pulled themselves back, to
reveal flechette tubes.  Large, hideously eldritch tentacles shot out of the
openings, wrapping around Akane before she could react.  Beowulf pulled her
out of the room, back to the sickbay, and flung her towards paradise.
     She hit the wall with a sharp crack, and slid to the ground.  Akane forced
herself to keep watching the doorway as it closed, a solid steel plate
materializing over the opening.
     Three letters flashed on the door.
     "I."
     "A."
     "O."
     The door then vanished, and Akane fell unconscious.

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
WILL ANYONE SURVIVE TO FIND OUT?
WILL THIS GET ANY WEIRDER?  CAN IT?
WHY CAN'T I THINK OF ANY FUNNY TEASER QUESTIONS?
SHOULD I DRINK SOME MORE BEER?
SHOULD I WATCH SOME WILD KINGDOM RERUNS?
WHY NOT?
Oh, yes, that's right.  I'm too busy writing the conclusion of this story arc
for SUPERGUY!

+-------- Gary W. Olson --------+        "All roads lead *away* from Ankh-
| swede@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu  |         Morpork, but sometimes people just
+----- swede@drycas.bitnet -----+         walk along them the wrong way."
                                          - Terry Pratchett, _Moving_Pictures_