🚀 go-pugleaf

Kenneth Andrew Mack wrote:
> =

> It has come to the attention of many in the State of Colorado that we l=
ack
> diversity, a political left, and despite Denver, a certain urban flare.=
 It
> has come to the attention of many in the City of Washington that they l=
ack
> money, a political right, and despite the Smithsonian, a certain cultur=
al
> flare. This post is, I hope, an effort to remedy these dispirit
> situations.
> =

> ANNOUNCING:             Washington, Colorado.
> =

>         In fact the anexation of DC has begun. Coloradans are the leade=
rs
> of both the Republican and Democratic parties. They both, despite their=

> political differences, agree that Colorado needs another site in which =
to
> store the vast stock of nuclear waste generated by Rocky Flats. One
> Republicrat was once paraphrased to say "Washington DC is practically o=
ur
> neighbour. They can handle our waste without sacrificing unmittigated
> public scrutiny because they are great liars in that district." Indeed =
our
> state needs better liars. In addition, Colorado suffers from a lack of
> arms...see where this is going kids?...
> =

>         We export waste and inport guns. Affordable guns even. Everyone=

> can and should bear arms. With so much rampant paranoia sweeping our
> society, the only means to mollify those without Mellaril, Cogentin and=

> Haldol is to arm them. "Thank you Washington" will echo throughout the
> thin tarmac of 16th street. We could get Ed Meese back into action and
> initiate this pony ride to debauchery and call it the greatest Disney
> Hallucination. Transport you inquire...
> =

> Well, we in Colorado share a common party with those in Washington, hea=
d
> of DOE, Pena. That r!t-a&s b#*^ard can certainly initiate deep tunnels
> lined with diluted cement and poured by illegal labour that will serve =
as
> the ultimate umbiblica between the two of us. If it collapses, we'll ju=
st
> turn it over to mayor Web--no sweat or worries.

This is an idea whose time has come. Having spent time in Denver ("oh
really?") I personally believe that Washington and Denver deserve each
other. In fact, the similarities are so amazing that I can't figure out
why this has not been proposed before. You could transport East Colfax
Avenue right smack into the middle of almost anyplace in Washington and
nobody would notice, except for the fact that from what I hear, the
whores around here cost a little more.

Also, Denver would definitely benefit culturally from any change away
from its present monoethnic culture. I mean, the place is as white as a
Barbie-Doll convention. No soul at all in that joint.


> =

> We will also supply all the Coors beer you care to toss into the Potoma=
c
> at a reduced price. Imagin, no more waiting in line to buy over-priced
> "micro" brews when Coors will install a "Pork Hole" brewery inside the
> Capitol Rotunda! Of course if Micros are more your speed, we will build=

> seven (7) Rock Bottoms and Old Chicagos in each quadrant of the city.

Actually what we really really need is some King Soopers. Oh, and more
laundromats.

> =

> In keeping with the ideals of more good beer and Coors we will increase=

> the speed limit within the city limits to 75 mph and ease the availabil=
ity
> of guns.
> =

> Let us all work together in making this dream a reality. Call or write
> your congressman and/or seanator and ask them to get this process start=
ed!
> =

> Kennith Mack

-- =

Be kind to your       | When the going gets weird the weird turn pro.
neighbors even though | http://www.clark.net/pub/klaatu/
they be transgenic    | Now. chock full of uninteresting links.
chimerae.             |-- Genesis 19:1-13 - Hebrews 13:2 -- =

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Usually I work within the system when it's not trying to get me killed.