🚀 go-pugleaf

Article 19065 of cwru.general:
Path: usenet.ins.cwru.edu!po.CWRU.Edu!dma7
From: dma7@po.CWRU.Edu (Daniel M. Alt)
Newsgroups: cwru.general
Subject: Repost of the 1994 Cwru.gen awards
Date: 4 Sep 1994 19:38:57 GMT
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Lines: 905
Message-ID: <34d7oi$9dn@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>
Reply-To: dma7@po.CWRU.Edu (Daniel M. Alt)
NNTP-Posting-Host: owl.ins.cwru.edu


 As promised, here is a repost of the 1994 CWRU.GEN awards
for those of you who weren't reading the board in July when I posted 
them the first time.

Announcer:
GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AND WELCOME TO THE
  (slightly belated)
1994 CWRU.GEN AWARDS!!!!
And now, here's your host: Mr. Billy Crystal!

"Hello, and welcome to the cwru.gen awards for the 1993-1994
school year.  Yes, they're three months late.  We're hoping its
a girl."

"So let's get right to it.  Here to present our first award of the
evening, are those three zany characters, the Anamaniacs!"

[Switch to camera on center podium.  Dot is coming down the stairs
wearing a pricey evening gown.  Suddenly, a saw appears in the floor,
and cuts a neat circle around the podium, which crashes through. 
Yakko hops up, and pulls Wakko up after him.]

Wakko & Yakko: Helooo, cwru.gen!

Dot: Boys!

Yakko:  The nominees for outstanding one liner in a post are...
(He reaches into a pocket and pulls out, a sandwich, a light bulb,
a pipe wrench, a bison, the Queen Elizabeth II, Queen Elizabeth II,
and finally an envelope) 

DAVE POLEWKA

>>>Now when the BRB 5th floor staff attempt to check their mail, the 
>>>following error message is obtained "unable to access pop.cwru.edu.
>>>Cause: virtual circuit changed by remote site."
>>>Contacting USER service has not helped resolve.  
>>>Any suggestions how to correct? 
>>
>>Sure.  Replace yer muffler bearings, dummy!

BRENT KEITH

>please oh please change the topics.  anything will do.  kirk vs picard,
>why Glaser sucks, "Manimal", the best way to kill an idiot, or why Pat
>Kennedy should be covered with honey and left on top of an anthill in
>the sun.  ANYTHING!!!
>
Personally, I think Kirk is much better than Glazer.  And it should be
intuitively obvious why "Manimal" should be left in the sun on an anthill
tied up with an idiot.

AMY HAMMETT

>We don't even get free food like the freshmen!  :(
>

You better not eat our freshmen!

EVAN WERKEMA

>errr... actually... I think we're known as "labTECHS".  The lab monitors in 
>Smith Lab are "labBIES."  We who have to put up with people trying to run MS 
>Word 5.1 on 1mb Mac SE's without hard disks are known as "labTECHS".  Faisal 
>works at both the Mac labs and Smith... therefore he is both a "labtech"
>*and* a "labbie".  I might be wrong about this...

  AH, I see.  So when you walk into Smith Lab, you greet the person behind 
the desk with a cheerful "G'day, labbie!" while at a Mac lab you say, 
"Howdy techs!"

BRENT KEITH...

Wakko: Again?

Dot: He knows the moderator, what can I say?

Wakko: (Who suddenly looks just like Mr. Rodgers) Can you say
Nep-o-tism, boys and girls?  I knew you could!

Subject: Re: CWRUnet Problem Report: Dates missing from gopher/news gateway

Gopher seeks gopher.  Short, fuzzy and fun to be with.
  
Yakko:  And the winner is...Brent Keith!

(Dot and Wakko are walking in a circle, holding up signs that say
things like "UNFAIR" and "NO AWARDS FOR ROOMMATES!")

[Camera shifts back to Billy Crystal]

Billy:  You know, I still have know idea what species those guys are.

[The Anamaniacs walk by in front of the podium, waving signs.  
Yakko's sign says, "YOUR AD HERE" Dot hands Billy a flyer.  Suddenly,
all three do a double take, and dash off, chased by the beefy security
guard.]

Billy:  Well, after that, I think there's no better time to present
the award for the absolute weirdest post to cwru.gen this year.
The nominees are:

MOSES FRIDMAN


"OK, Houston, Hubler speaking.  We've got the camera lined up, and are going
for the insertion"

"Roger Hubler.  Put it in there."

"AAAHHHH!!!!"

"HUBLER! HUBLER! What is it?"

"..."

"HUBLER!"

"I AM AN INTEGRAL GOING TO INFINITY!"

"Hubler?"

"Houston, this is Hill.  Hubler is having final exam flashbacks."

"Roger Hill, get him inside, call Prahl out."

"M-M-M-M-Mar-r-r-r-riot!  M-M-M-M-M-Mar-r-r-iot!  M-M-M-M--" <vooosh>

"Houston!  Hubler's taking his pants off!"

And so the silence of space swallows the screams of the mad.

FENG GAO

b***h name who loves sex, even do pigs and dogs and lay with
anyone is diana Kortykowski

the sex machine f**k f**k everything is mark harbobush

Billy: And the winner is...FENG GAO.  By the way folks, "f**k"
stands for fsck, a popular UNIX command.  Don't go away, we've
got a lot more, right after this.

[Camera pans back to reveal the entire hall.  On center stage, a 
group of workpersons can be seen nailing plywood over the hole.]

-------

"We're here at Health Services, and we're replacing these fine 
doctors. . .with Floger's(tm) crystals! Let's see if the students
notice."

Student #1: Please, can you help my friend!  He's bleeding to
death.

Nurse:  Give him some of this.

Student #2:  Wow...  this... stuff... tastes... like... fresh..
(cough)...brewed...(hack)...bat urine.  (gack)

Student #1:  He's dead!

Nurse:  The coroner's office is next door.

-------

Billy:  Now please welcome our musical guests, Bob Mehosky
and Kevin Eye

[Switch cameras to center stage, where appropriate lighting and smoke
and lights and whatnot are.  Bob steps up to the mike and starts
singing]

I would eat anything for lunch
A Leutnerburger for a snack
I would eat anything for lunch
I'll wrap it up and take it back

But I'll never forget the way my gut feels now
Oh no--no way
I would eat anything for lunch 
But I wont eat that
I wont eat that

Anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
But I wont eat that
No I wont eat that

Some days it comes too salty
Some days it comes too sweet
Some days its just way too greasy
And these are the days I hate to eat

Some nights you're crappin' solid
Some nights you're crappin' loose
Some nights it's like nothing I've ever seen before
Or will again

Maybe I'm queasy
But I'm queasy and it's true
No Tums could save me
Nothing now can save me but real food

As long as my stomach's churning
As long as my heart is burning
As long as you're serving me this food
You better belive it!

That I would eat anything for lunch
And I'll stay there til my stomachs packed
I would eat anything for lunch
But I'll come on home and want to yak

But I'll never forgive myself if we dont hit Taco Bell
Tonight
I would eat anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
But I wont eat that
I wont eat that....
 
Anything you've been serving up
But I just wont eat that

Somedays I pray for Wendy's
Somedays I pray for a mall
Somedays I just pray to the god of grease and fat and cholesterol

Some nights I lose my dinner
Some nights I lose control
Some nights I just spend an hour kneeling real close to the toilet bowl

Maybe I'm hungy
And some grub is all I need 
There's just one and only
One and only place that I can eat

As long as the milk is curdling
As long as the fries are burning
As long as you're serving me this food
You better belive it!

That I would eat anything for lunch
And you know its true and that's a fact
I would eat anything for lunch!
But there's gotta be a midnight snack

But I wait so long for service I just dish it up myself
Alone
Alone
I would eat anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
But I wont eat that
I wont eat that!

I would eat anything for lunch
Anything you've been dreaming up
But I just wont eat that

But I'll never stop loading up my face
Every night I'm at Case
No way

I would eat anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
I would eat anything for lunch
But I wont eat that
I wont eat that!

Keven:
Will it fill me up?
Will I keep it down?
Will you get my fork out of this mashed potato mound?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

Bob(Puts on a Marriot baseball cap): 
We can't do that!
We can't do that!

Case Student:
Will you serve me riblets?
Will you have 'em tonight?
Can you varietize the food? I'm so sick of beans and rice
Can you make the bread a little less old?

Bob:
We can't do that!
We can't do that!

Case Student:
Can you whip up a dinner 
With your own two hands?
Can you fill this empty plate with something I can stand?
Can you have a dish you'll let me take home?

Bob:
We can't do that!
We can't do that!

Case Student:
Will you cater to any suggestion that I got?
Will ya wake me up with smelling salts--if the food's served hot?
Will you be here after class when I'm home?

Bob: 
We can't do that!
We can't do that!

Case Student:
After a while, you'll forget everything
It was a brief little tune
And a midautumn night's dream
And I know that the food stays the same
 
Bob:
We like it like that!
We like it like that!

Case Student:
I know the dining hall--I've been around
You'll just ignore us and we'll all sit down
And sooner or later, you'll be laughing aloud
 
Bob:
We might do that!
We might do that!

Anything for lunch
We might fix anything for lunch
We might fix anything for lunch
But we can't do that
We can't do that

[The audience goes wild, cheering and screaming, and holding cigarette
lighters over their heads.  One person (long red hair, blue John
Lennon glasses) actually attempts to light a cigarette with hers, and
is clubbed unconscious by her neighbors]

Billy: And now to present the BUAF/Sig File award, award winning
physicist, Stephen Hawking!

[The camera switches to a small figure in a wheelchair on center stage.
The chair is in front of a small, tacky throw rug, from a corner of which
peeks a piece of plywood.]

Hawking: (Computer synthesized voice coming over loudspeakers)
The nominees for outstanding sig file/Big Ugly Ascii Font are:

STEVE NELSON

   ________________   _____       _____
  |   ___  __| _\  \_/  / _\ ____/  __ \      Stephen O. Nelson  
  |___ \|  |  ___\     / ___\    | |__| |     !!!CaseSwimTeam!!!        
  /  /  \  |      \   /      \___|      |     Learning Assistant
 |______/__|_______\_/________\  \_____/       son@po.cwru.edu

EVAN WERKEMA

     o_II_-__-__-----____________ ---------------- /====================\  
      I_________I__I I    870   I I     I  I     I I   I  I     oooooo II 
     /-o--0-0-0-0~~~~~o=o~==~o=o~~~o==o~~~~~~o==o~~~o=o=o~~~~~~~~~~o=o=o~~

 o_II_--__--__-----______________ /===================\ /==================\
  I___________I__I I     900    I I   I  I     I  I   I II  o o o o o o o II
/~o~~O-O-O-O-O~o~~~~o==o~==~o==o~~~o=o=o~~=====~~o=o=o~~~o=o=o~~~~~~~~o=o=o~

   o_II_--_--__-----,------\_____ I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I ___IooI_________ 
    I__________I__I I   1010    I I atsf   I  I        I  I    o   o o I   
  /~o~~O--O--O~~o~~~~o==o~=~o==o~~~o==o~~~~~~~~~~~~o==o~~~~o==o~==~o==o~~

                                                              ---------------
      _____,___.____._._._     _._._.________,_____.___       I   EVERGREEN 
  ___/ooI==  \===/  =====I     I======        == \====I      _I--------------
I_I~~   I___Santa Fe_____I_I_I_I_____Santa Fe___----__I_I __I \--------------
`-'O==O~============~O==O`-'~`-'O==O~============~O==O`-'~`o==o~-------------

                                      --------------------    ---------------
      __________      .. _______      I     EVERGREEN    I    I     MAERSK
  ___/ooI= = ===~~~~~~``~======I     _I------------------I_  _I--------------
I_I~    I---____Santa Fe__=_=_=I_I __I \----------------/ I__I \-------------
`-'O==O==O~============~O==O==O`-'~`o==o~----------------~o==o~--------------

  /---------------/---- ---------------- ---------------------_---------------
 (_______3460____/___I  I===Santa Fe===I I   I  I      I  I  I I o o o o o o o
 /-o==o-0--0--0~~o=o~~~~~o=o=o~==~o=o=o~~~o=o=o~~~~~~~~~o=o=o~~~o==o~~~~~~~~~~  
/---------------/---- ---------------- ---------------------_---------------

    _____ ,,              ______________________ 
    IooI--^^-------~~~,   I       I    I       I ______________________
  |_I__I__santa fe_###I_I I  elw4@po.cwru.edu  I I    Evan Werkema    I 
  `-~0==0~=======~0==0~-'~~o==o~~~~~~~~~~~~o==o~~~o==o~~~~~~~~~~~~o==o~~

JASON LYONS

___________  _______  _ _              __    ________   __________  
                   /   |    \    /|      \           |
___________  _____/    |     \  / |  _____\             ________
           |      \    |      \/  |       |             
___________|       \  _|_         |       |  ________|  __________
           |                           

and STEVE NELSON

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*0<YQ8K%@E`(`.P(`
`
end

...and the winner is  STEVE NELSON!

[The chair then vanishes, in the sparkling hum of a transporter
beam]

Billy Crystal:  Next up is the award for the best in-joke, defined as 
a joke which requires some information not in the post to get.
The nominees are

CHRIS HINKLE

>Today on the Bob Henderson Show, it was said that in Cleveland there are 76 
>unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women.
>
>Wonder what part of Cleveland he's talking about...........

*laugh*  No wonder I can't find a date... :)

ERIK KOVACH

For Sale (cheap!):

Bass guitar and amplifier.
Call Adam at x2149 if interested.  Ha ha.

DAN ALT

[The audience goes wild, cheering and screaming, and holding cigarette
lighters over their heads.  One person (long red hair, blue John
Lennon glasses) actually attempts to light a cigarette with hers, and
is clubbed unconscious by her neighbors]

Billy:  Hows about that.  Self-referential humor.  And the winner
is...ERIK KOVACH.  

 Now we have a special feature.  At the beginning of the 
year, we asked our staff expert to make some predictions for cwru.gen
for the year.  We're not sure what he's expert in besides trains,
but here's the predictions, courtesy of Evan Werkema.

1. Someone will mention the word "Marriott" and send the board into utter
   chaos for weeks.  (hey, it worked last year)

Billy:  Well, no luck on that one.  I guess nobody wants to defend
 Marriot anymore.  Either that, or O.J. Simpson's hired 
 every defender in the country.

2. Keith Ryan will win the David Z. Zinkin Memorial Conspiracy Theory Award.

Billy:  This just in..(opening an envelope).. the winner of the 
 David Z. Zinkin Memorial Conspiracy Theory Award is
 ...oh, well, it's some guy named Wolfgang.  You're 0 for
 2, Evan.

3. Robyn's ghost will continue to post upcoming UPB events and complain 
     about attendance.

Billy:  Absolutely right on that one.  Who'd have guessed that Robyn
 would be reincarnated as someone named Mike Barreca?  You
 know, Barreca would be a good name for a Wookie, like 
 Chewbakka.

  4. Someone will start an anti-gun thread, whereupon Corinne Kelly will 
     emerge as an outspoken NRA member.

Billy:  Sorry, she's unconscious right now.

  5. Renowned psychiatrist Dr. I. B. Adork will begin posting in place of Dr. 
     Phil Me-in, now under Dr. Adork's care after suffering a nervous 
     breakdown while trying to treat "Decay."

Billy: Not even close.
   
  6. I'll get flamed for this post.  (had to throw in one sure-thing)

Billy: Does this count?

  7. The Aardvark Liberation Front will kidnap "The Start," much to everyone's
     relief.

Billy: We should be so lucky.

  8. Suddenly, one day, when he least expects it, Bruce Ikenaga's CWRUnet 
     account will stop working. >-]

Billy: Ironic, huh?  This one's right, but not for the reason you 
 thought.  A moment of silence please, for the loss of one
 of cwru.gen's favorite professors, Bruce Ikenaga.
 
  9. The end-of-the-year CWRUgen awards poll will reveal that 5.6 people read
     CWRUgen.

Billy:  No poll was taken, so your answer is off by 5.6, which is
 within the infinite margin of error.

  10. The power vacuum left be the dissolution of the Mikey-Tommy duo (Mike
      graduated, and Tom isn't back yet) will be readily filled with bright
      new talent just dying to carry the torch...I mean flame.

Billy: True enough, which brings us to the Michael Sidman memorial
FLAMER OF THE YEAR award.

The nominees are...
WILLIAM GANN
TIM "CHUCK" REINHART
JASON LYONS
JUSTIN LOWE

And the winner of Flamer of the Year is...Chris Hinkle.  No,
just kidding Chris.  The winner is...CHUCK REINHART

        sure sure that's ok.  as long as it's a white child.  gotta repress
the supressors of the oppressed or they might repress more oppressed people
including the suppressors of the repressors who oppressed the now defunct
suppressed, who are actually the repressors of the suppressors but not he
currently oppressed or oppressors because we all know that if we don't
fight for the oppressed through repression of the suppressors we'll never
have an equal society.  After all we're all different and we shoudl be
treated as such... until someone ina diffrente group than me gets treated
differently.. then i want to be treated the same way.. but diffrently.

[Camera switches to stage right, where David Letterman is sitting
behind a desk.]

Letterman: [sarcastic]  Yes here we are in beautiful Cleveland.  
What to you think of Cleveland Paul?

Paul Shaeffer: I think it's fabulous, Dave.

Letterman:  I see.  How much time do we have?  Do we have time
to do the top ten lists? 

[voice over]:Only three of them

Letterman:  Our producer, ladies and gentleman.  Here we go, the 
top three top ten lists of this year.  Drum roll, please...

Number Three:

MICHAEL BARRECA:

Band(votes)
1. They Might Be Giants(20)
2. Meatloaf(14)
3. The Cranberries(9)
4. Stone Temple Pilots(8)
5.(tie) Blind Melon(7)
   Dream Theater(7)
7.(tie) Nine Inch Nails(6)
   Arrested Development(6)
9.(tie) Spin Doctors(5)
   Adam Sandler(5)
   Skinny Puppy(5)
12.(tie) Gin Blossoms(4)
   Digable Planets(4)
   Naughty by Nature(4)
15.(tie) Four Non Blondes(3)
   Harry Connick, Jr.(3)
   Violent Femmes(3)
   Rage Against The Machine(3)
   Soul Asylum(3)
   Smashing Pumpkins(3)
   Cypress Hill(3)

Number two:

JERRY JORDAK

>10. The Spartans won, 28-7.
>9.  I finished a program that is due Monday.
>8.  The weather was nice.
>7.  I finished working on applications for a possible co-op job.
>6.  I wasn't at home raking leaves.
>5.  Liza got Homecoming Queen!
>4.  I found the better part of a 12-pack in my fridge that I didn't know I 
>    had.
>3.  Dale Earnhardt finished 2nd at Rockingham, keeping his lead in the
>    Winston Cup points race by 72 points.
>2.  I got to sleep until 12:30 today.
>
>And the number one reason why Jer had a good weekend......
>
>1. I wasn't sitting in classes for 5 hours a day.

and the number one top ten list goes to...

DAMIEN NEIL

Top ten things to do with a 3-week old Marriott cheeseburger:

10)Use the wrapper as scratch paper.

9) Hockey puck.

8) Save it as the first example of man-made life.

7) Smuggle drugs with it -- there's no way anyone is taking a close look at it.

6) Fead it to your suitemate's hamster. (Revenge!)

5) Exhibit A in the Marriott vs. Students lawsuit over food poisoning.

4) Stick it in with your summer clothes instead of mothballs.

3) Wait for mushrooms to sprout and harvest them.

2) Ward off vampires. (Hell, if a little *garlic* keeps 'em away...)

1) Put it back in the rack at Fribley.

Dave: Well, I'm out of time.  Back to you Billy.

Billy:Thanks, Dave.  That new hairpiece looks great.  Next up, we
would like to honor a cwru.gen legend who left us this year.  Dan
Brown's wit, humor, and charm were a pleasure to read.  It would
be impossible to summarize everything he did for the board, but
I think his essence is truly summed up in this, one of his finest
posts:


                        CWRUnet Problem Report
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
                   Date: 08/22/93 Time: 06:06:53 PM
------------------------------------------------------------------------


Problem: Net down in Staley
Cause: IRM2 crashed. 
Affects: Staley house. 
Started: 18:00 8/22/93
Resolved: tech is responding. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------
-- 
Dan Brown
brown@ins.cwru.edu

Billy: It just brings a tear to my eyes.  We'll miss you, Dan.  We'll
be back after this.
-----

News announcer:  This is newsbreak.  Our remote reporter,
John Gallagher, was sent out in January to cover the 19th
annual CWRU Science Fiction Marathon for this station.  He
has just located the tape, which he claims fell down behind the
seat of his car.  We'll show the tape, John, but you're not 
getting your job back.

Gallagher: For the second year, we are live and
 on the net at the scifi marathon.
As a public (dis)service to cwru.gen, we will provide blue ribbon panel
reviews of each movie as they run.  Remember, these reviews were written
by real BOARD CERTIFIED Psychics....

The Abyss
---------

        John says :  "Weird water beings who watch alot of TV, an insane
        Navy Seal with a tactical nuke, gratuitous breasts ('It only
        works on BARE skin')  -- if it weren't for the high budget, this
        movie could have been a real classic.....

        Kai sez:
        "We're going to have to take steps... we're going to have
        to take steps."  

        Dan Says : "The aliens come from a place with cold, intense
        pressure : case...."
 
Newscaster: Well, there's a lot more just like that, but we've decided
we've got better things to do with our lives.  And now back to our 
program.
-----

Billy:  And now to present the next award, please welcome Tori Spelling!

[Tori walks down to the podium, which appears to be propped up over 
the rug by a phone book.]

Tori:  I'm not sure why they asked me to present this award, but the 
nominees for best attempt to brownnose to the award moderator are:

BRUCE IKENAGA

>Can someone take pity on this poor soul and generate some 72 dpi PK fonts
>of various magnifications? (I want to be able to _read_ my DVI file before
>printing it out.)

   I want to nominate this guy for an award of some kind.

   In the years I have been reading this board, I have NEVER
seen anyone post a message about TeX before. Never. :-)


STEPHEN TRIER

In article <mjk15.213.745978788@po.cwru.edu>,
Pezz D. Spencer <mjk15@po.cwru.edu> wrote:
>Shouldn't that be "NAZI"?  

URG!  CWRUgen awards committee, please take note of the 1993-1994
season's first spelling flame.  :-)

DMA INDUSTRIES, for naming their entire organization after the 
moderator.

and, well, STEPHEN TRIER

>       Are you mad at mother nature for this cold weather?  If so, why not 
> check out the SEDS voting area and voice your opinions on issues related to 
> space exploration and development?

I hereby nominate these two sentences for the cwru.gen Non-sequitor of
the Week Award.  They sure threw me for a loop.

and the winner is STEPHEN TRIER.  You know this program would
be a lot better if my dad WHAARRGHHHhhhh....!!!
[The podium, rug, and starlet crash through the plywood, leaving
an even messier hole in the floor.]

[Billy Crystal is speechless, staring at the center of the stage.
Suddenly, he notices the camera is back on him.]

Billy:  Um, well, right.  And now it's time for our two
final awards.  The first award is the "Rebel without a Clue"
award, for the longest thread with the least point.  This
years winner is...

HITCHCOCK DORMITORY, and everyone else who posted to the winter
carnival thread.  Here's a sample:

I would just like to make a few comments about the end of winter carnival.
Yes Hitchcock's team weighed in at 1318 while Cutler's team
weighed in under 1300.  Since the rules were explained diferently
to Hitchcock then Cutler, no it wasn't completely fair.  Neither
was it Hitchcock being a poor sport.  They had set up a team
according to the rules that had been explained to them.  I have
been playing sports all my life, ...

[Camera cuts back to Billy, who is asleep over the podium.  There
is a pause, and a guy with a clipboard wearing a large headset
comes out and pokes him.  He jerks his head up, and then fumbles
with his cue cards]

And now for our final award, the coveted TOMMY DAVIDSON flamebait
award.  There is clearly no question as to the winner of this award.
For their consistent meaningless posts, their pitiful attempts
at flameage, and most of all, for the enigma which rivals
"Rosebud" in it's mystery, the "Volcano Sheek."  The winners are
the members of DMA industries, Justin Lowe, and Jason "Grimace" Lyons.


In article <26h3va$474@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu> das17@po.CWRU.Edu (Dwight A. Skinner) 
writes:
>From: das17@po.CWRU.Edu (Dwight A. Skinner)
>Subject: Re: Volcano sheek =)
>Date: 7 Sep 1993 04:50:50 GMT
>
>In a previous article, jal15@129.22.8.51 (G R I M A C E) says:
>>
>>Well, I have returned, and have found nothing changed.  The Great Volcano 
>>Sheek is still in our midst on Southside.  I was thoroughly impressed with 
>>this beautiful sight.  Still here, like this vision would go anywhere.  At 
>>least I would hope not.  Well folks, someday i will have a camera with me to 
>>take this Picture of all pictures.
>>
>>Film couldn't hold water to the natural beauty of the Volcano Sheek.
>>
>>---Grim
>
>Hey Grimmy,
>
>       Notice the ".general" in cwru.general, which indicates stuff for
>the general CWRU public.

  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
  You are right, that is why i posted it here.
>
>I think your little posts belong on cwru.private.fantasies.whacking.off

                                         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                                     A field i am sure you will major in.
>Whatever,
>

Listen here Chuck, go back under the rock you crawled out from.  This is for 
the general public.  If the moderator of this group would like my posts 
deleted, he would delete them.  But they are still here, so i will make my 
comments whenever i feel it necessary.  Freedom of Speech has to be the best 
thing written in the Constitution.

Until you know what the hell I am talking about, keep your nose outta my 
business.

______________________________________________________________________

                          DMA Industries Ltd.
                            Vice President 
                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jay "Grimace" Lyons                office hours:  10:00pm-1:00am
Kusch building  Office #210E       phone:  (216) 754-2133
Cleveland, Oh  44106               Patients by appointment only.


Article #17905 (18055 is last):
From: jdl6@po.CWRU.Edu (Justin D. Lowe)
>Newsgroups: cwru.general
Subject: That Nirvana dude...
Reply-To: jdl6@po.CWRU.Edu (Justin D. Lowe)
Date: Sat Apr  9 00:50:41 1994



        Perhaps there is a God after all.  But he's cruel and sadistic.  
Now we're gonna have to put up with an incredible amount of bullshit.  It
really makes me sick.  He's going to be put up on a pedestal along with
James Dean (who only made THREE FREAKING MOVIES) and worshiped by
generations to come.  I don't know about you all, but he wasn't the voice
of _my_ generation.  Sure, he played some good songs, I'm not denying that,
but since when did we start giving a damn about what an artist has to say
about the important issues of the day?  Just shut up and do your movies
or your albums or whatever.  You are not qualified to shoot your fool mouth
off about Third World starvation, abortion, the environment, or anything 
else, for that matter.  And on the same note, what the hell was that thing
stuck in the Observer today?  I'm for the free exchange of ideas or what-
ever, but that wasn't even close today.  If it was sponsored by CWRU
Students for Life, (which is a legitimate organization, don't get me wrong)
then they probably got the Observer's student rate, then used USG funding
to help pay for it.  Ya wanna know what that means?  Your activity fee
helped to pay for a 12-page, pro-crack baby, anti-death bunch of 
Neanderthal conservatism rhetoric that most everyone I know glanced at the
cover and tossed aside.  Sounds like a waste of money to me.  They should
have at least given the pro-butchery, dead-baby, murdering bastard side to
have an opportunity to respond and debate.  Or maybe that will be the 
insert next week.  That way, two student groups will have used our money
to spout off.  I sure do love embezzlement thinly disguised as public forum.

Billy:  That's all the time we have for tonight, and before we go, I'll
leave you with this thought from Jeremy "Tofu" Chan:

Doing spirited shit is fun.
Living is fun.

Fun is fun!

Fun! Fun! Fun!

Yeah!

Billy:  Be sure to tune in next year folks, and remember to have
Bob Barker spayed or neutered!

[As the closing credits roll, to the tune of They Might Be
Giants, "Birdhouse in your Soul," an announcer reads the 
following disclaimer, courtesy of Evan Werkema:]

(Insert smilies as warranted.  This post isn't meant to be an attack on any

I have a secret to tell,

particular person.  Void Where Prohibited.  All Rights Reserved.  This post 

from my electrical well,

cannot be reproduced in whole or in part without the express permission of the

it's a simple message and

publisher, except for short quotations in critical reviews.  Any resemblence 

I'm leaving out the whistles and bells.

between the characters depicted herein and actual persons or people or peoples

so the room must listen to me,

or personages or souls or selves or beings or entities, or <bap> living, dead,

filibuster vigilantly,

or Kuschion, is completely coincidental.  The post doesn't even suck.)

one word spelled L-I-T-E, My story's infinite, like the Longines 
Symphonette....
-- 
Daniel Alt - Case Western Reserve University    Cleveland, Ohio (Help Me!)
 
 "This chicken is throwing me off.  I need a machete." - James Nealy