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Article 20316 of cwru.general:
Newsgroups: cwru.general
Path: usenet.ins.cwru.edu!b63154.STUDENT.CWRU.Edu!jwj2
From: jwj2@po.CWRU.Edu (Jerry W. Jordak)
Subject: THE 1992 CWRU.GEN AWARDS
Message-ID: <jwj2.91@po.CWRU.Edu>
Summary: Meant to be funny
Sender: news@usenet.ins.cwru.edu
Nntp-Posting-Host: b63154.student.cwru.edu
Organization: Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH (USA)
Date: Mon, 4 May 1992 04:17:18 GMT
Lines:      285

"Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends........"


Well, the end of another year at CWRU has come, and with it, the end of 
another year's worth of postings on cwru.gen. Many threads have come and
gone. Some frequent posters will be leaving us, but more will be joining
us next year. 

Therefore, it is appropriate to take a look back on the year to recognize
some of the people on this board who have contributed to this board. So,
without further ado, it time to present.....


                      *THE 1992 CWRU.GEN AWARDS!*
                       -------------------------
                        (with host Bob Barker)


These awards are by no means intended to be derrogatory or flame-invoking,
but rather in the sprirt of fun. Some are serious, and some are humorous;
you can easily figure out which are which. So sit back, and enjoy......



BEST ONE-LINER IN A POST AWARD: Evan Werkema, during the TOMMY DAVIDSON thread. 
It wasn't a flame, and it wasn't even a flame at Tom, but it *was* funny. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a previous article, ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson) says:
>In a previous article, lbn@po.CWRU.Edu (Lynette B. Nickerson) says:
>
>>University Program Board PRESENTS :
>>
>>THE BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR!
>>
>>     TOMMY DAVIDSON
>
>      *bows*bows* What? All this applause for ME? No, I couldn't possibly...
>Thank you, thank you! Ah, you're so kind....

 Actually Tom, when I saw that subject heading, I felt sure it was going to
be a flame.  Guess I've been reading this board too much.  ;)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------


10000 AWARD: Dan Alt, for posting the 10,000th message on this board. 
Too bad he messed up the Daffy Duck sequence. :-)


BEST STARTER OF RIVALRIES AND FLAME WARS AWARD: Heather Garvey.
Heather vs. Dave Zinkin
Heather vs. Dale Klan
Heather vs. Christine Cunnigham
etc.....

An Honorable Mention in this award goes to Tom Davidson.


BEST FACULTY PARTICIPATION AWARD: Rolfe Petschek, Associate Professor of 
Physics, for his regular appearances on cwru.gen, and especially for his part 
in the discussion of the Physics thread. It is beneficial that not just 
students read this board, but also the faculty and staff, so that this may 
be more of a "general" board for all.


REBEL AWARD: Dave Zinkin, for his "taking on the world" flame war over the
Chemistry department. No judgement is being passed here for who was wrong
or right in that debate, but you have to recognize someone like Dave who is
willing to stand by his opinion, whether or not that opinion is flawed or
flaky. For those of you who missed it, here's some highlights from that
flame war:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Has anyone in the department *ever* considered hiring someone who *wants*
to teach the course -- someone who has absolutely *no* desire to do
research or administrative work, who cares only that students learn, and
who will do anything reasonable to help students to learn?  Or do they enjoy
seeing students suffer for absolutely *no* reason at all?

*****

   Dave, it's well-known that you whine at the drop of a hat.
You think EVERY teacher is OUT TO GET YOU, personally. My chem profs
(Ocasio, Sukenik, Gardner(?), Swift and Whitman) have all been wonderful.....
You seem to have this major persecution complex, Dave.

*****

The fact that you classify my accusations as "just whining" does prove one
thing: you'd be a *great* chemistry professor here at CWRU!  (No smiley.)

*****

What I don't understand, Dave, is if the entire Chemistry department
at Case (minus Dedolph) are such non-teachers, WHY DID YOU STAY HERE
FOR FOUR BLOODY YEARS????

*****

   You remind me of a second year med student I worked with at the
Univ. of Chicago the summer after my freshman year. We were seriously 
understaffed due to various unforseen events (to the point that I was 
performing tests and such that 'trained technicians' were supposed to be
doing). A hat rack would have been of more use than this guy......
It doesn't amaze me that his name was Dave.

*****

>        Oh, you are so right, Dave. The Chemistry Dept. just hates us all
>and lives to persecute us.
Go back and re-read what I said, Heather.  I never said that they live to
persecute us; I said that they live for their research.  Persecuting students
is just one of the ways that they get this point across.

*****

   yes, you too can turn a simple complaint into global
   warfare! just ask Mr. Weseman! he posted ONE... just ONE
   article on his own personal views toward one very specific
   example... and now he sits back and watches as over 100
   participate in the largest bash on record! indeed... you
   can have it all!

*****

Dave Zinkin has been rumored to have failed out of school after
spending every waking moment of the last two days fighting was 
has apparently been a losing battle on cwru.gen.  Mr. Zinkin has
been estimated at writing well over 400 lines of posts, which 
must have taken several hours of his valuable time.  Despite the
tremendous opposition he faced, he continued waging his war 
against those who opposed his obviously correct viewpoint.  And
now he has left us...  How sad.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------


REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE AWARD: Tom Davidson. After riling up all of the Case
Core people by voicing his complaints about how hard he thought Case Core was, 
he then proceded to take on a wall of flames from a large group of incensed 
cwru.gen readers. Granted, one should stand by their opinion, but even your 
asbestos suit gets warm after a while. 

And then he decides to bring up the issue again! Go figure.....

(Bob Barker shakes his head)

                                
REBEL WITHOUT A CLUE AWARD: Dale Klan. Dale wins this one for his attempts to 
force people to worry about their student governments ("What offices have you 
run for?"), and also for flaming people for straying from such topics to 
discuss other things, such as (oh my God!) STEAM TUNNELS. He has tried time 
and time again to get cwru.genners from forgetting about the problems with 
our student government (although he has also managed to tick off a more than a 
few people in the process).


MARRIOTT-BASHER AWARD: Melina Barecca. Guess Leutner food makes her sick.
Unfortunately, her petition efforts didn't quite work and we're all still
stuck on the meal plan.


MOST CONTROVERSIAL THREAD AWARD: Impossible to call. Controversy is the 
foundation of cwru.gen, and to single out any particular thread would be 
sacrilegous.


BEST NICKNAME AWARD: Tim Rinehart. Or is it Chuck, or is it TimChuck......


OBNOXIOUS INCESSANT BITCHING AWARD: Mike Sidman, Mike Weseman, Tom Davidson,
Dale Klan, and Suzi Kwak. These people give the term "personal attacks" a 
whole new meaning. It has been a long time since cwru.gen has seen flames that
have been this crude. The voting committee at first wasn't going to hand 
this one out, but then changed its mind. After all, this isn't exactly an 
award to write home about. Here are some highlights from that flying array 
of garbage:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Were you born an ASSHOLE, or have you always wanted to be one when you grew 
up?  

*****

Stepping on your dick,

*****

Taking possession of your dick because you don't have a need for it,

*****

       It shows AGAIN, just like in your sharing your brutally long CIT
major with the rest of us, that you don't know what you are talking about.

***** 

       *sigh* Is there a REASON you dislike me, Sidman, or is this just
a general prejudice against everyone who didn't like CIT?

*****

>What does this show?

That you are overreacting just a bit? :)

*****

    Baby seats!!!!!  This is GREAT!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Bob Barker shakes his head)


BEST .SIG FILE AWARD: Even Workman, I mean Evan Werkema, with his 
Santa Fe GP30's:
     ,------------__,_._,_  _,_._,__------------,
  ___IooI~~|~~~~~~ ======I  I====== ~~~~~~~~~IooI___  ---------------------
 _I__I__I__|Santa Fe_____I__I_____Santa Fe___I__I__I__I Evan Werkema-elw4 I
 ~~O==O~============~O==O~~~~O==O~============~O==O~~~~o=o~~~~~~~~~~~~~o=o~~


BEST BIG UGLY ASCII FONT: Mike Sidman, during his continuing quest against
Tom Davidson. Actually, this is really the *only* BUAF that has passed
thru cwru.gen in a while, so it had to win. How did Mike know that this
award hadn't been handed out yet? (Apologies to any readers of 
alt.fan.warlord for my use of BUAF in the award name.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
N         N        OOOOOOOOOOOOO     TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT        !!
N N       N       O             O             T                !!
N  N      N       O             O             T                !!
N   N     N       O             O             T                !!
N    N    N       O             O             T                !!
N     N   N       O             O             T                !!
N      N  N       O             O             T                !!
N       N N       O             O             T  
N         N        OOOOOOOOOOOOO              T                !!
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BEST POS(T)ER THAT DOESN'T EXIST AWARD: The Case Discordian Society. Then 
again, since this award is being given to an entity that doesn't exist, maybe 
this award doesn't really exist......


STARTER OF THE MOST THREADS AWARD: Tom Davidson. Unfortunately, most of the 
threads were the flames directed at him for his views of the CIT/WRC cores....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ted5@po.CWRU.Edu (Thomas E. Davidson)
Subject: Whoa.
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 92 15:34:20 GMT

       I think this is a record. EVERY thread on here was started by me.
Major ego trip. :) j/k
---------------------------------------------------------------------------


BEST FLAME AT TOM DAVIDSON: Jerry Jordak. Hey, if John Hedlee liked it, well
then..........
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>       Why do we need a faster computer?

So you can reply to 250 cwru.gen posts per minute while reading your mail
at the same time, thereby permitting you to spend less time on your 
computer and allowing you to get out more often, which in essence will allow
you to get a life.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------


MOST TALKED-ABOUT PERSON WHO NEVER EVEN POSTS HERE AWARD: Alan Sather of
Marriott. During the Marriott-bashing that abounded when the new meal plans
were announced, many people were talking about their meetings with him, etc.
Someone should give Mr. Sather an account; he really deserves one.
Well, that will do it for this year's awards. Perhaps if this year's awards 
are successful, we'll have nominations and voting next year. Hope you enjoyed
them. I'm Bob Barker, reminding you to help control the pet population--have 
your dogs and cats spayed or neutered. Good night.


--
For a transcript of the Tom Davidson flame war, send $5 to Journal Graphics.
Footage supplied by Jerry Jordak.
Additional footage from Professor Rolfe Petschek, c/o Dave Zinkin.
This has been a Jermaster Productions production. 
Copyright 1992, Jermaster Productions. All rights wronged and reserved.
The views of the voting committee do not reflect the opinions of Bob Barker.
Not responsible for spelling errors, or for items lost or damaged.
If you recognize the first line in this post, please email jwj2@po.cwru.edu.