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"In Your Dreams" <anon5c6c@nyx.net> wrote in message
news:1295c003.0308242021.71e46b13@posting.google.com...
> The Top Ten Conservative Idiots (No. 123)
>    August 25, 2003
>    Moore's Monument Edition
>
>    This week's list is a monument to conservative idiocy. And like Roy
>    Moore's granite behemoth, our list has exactly 10 items. In the number
>    one slot, is Judge Moore himself, who seems to have nothing but
>    contempt for the rule of law. But at least he hasn't killed anybody,
>    which we can't say for Rep. Bill "leadfoot" Janklow (3). Fox News (4,
>    9) makes two appearances on the list this week, for losing its "fair
>    and balanced" court case and for showing itself to be anything but
>    fair and balanced with regard to the California recall election. And
>    if you didn't think this list was great already, we've got two
>    appearances by Dubya (2, 8), plus Taco Bell (5) and the Nuge(6).
>    Enjoy...
>
>    1 Roy Moore     Unconstitutional Religious Nut
>    So, a U.S. Supreme Court ruling and a busload of arrested protesters
>    later, Roy Moore still hadn't removed his enormous Ten Commandments
>    monument from the Alabama Judicial Building. Even an Alabama Supreme
>    Court decision by the eight other justices overruling Moore didn't
>    convince him to change his mind. And now Moore's Monument is becoming
>    something of a battle between religious fundies who think that the
>    world is going to explode if the monument is removed, and the rest of
>    the planet who thinks that Justice Roy Moore is a maniac who should
>    probably be kicked out of his judicial position once and for all. I
>    mean, this is the chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court we're
>    talking about here, and the guy won't obey the law he's supposed to
>    uphold. Instead he keeps rattling on about a "higher law" which, while
>    all well and good, isn't actually the law of the land. But what's
>    really sad about this story is that it appears to be turning into
>    nothing more than a vehicle for Roy Moore to promote himself. In a
>    speech in front of the monument last week he mentioned God 12 times
>    and himself 21 times. And now he's been suspended from the Supreme
>    Court, the real question is: anyone want to bet against Roy Moore
>    running for governor of Alabama in the not-too-distant future?
>
>    2 George W. Bush      Warmongering Dumb
>    Thank goodness Our Great Leader is in charge of our national security
>    and bringing world peace. He's doing such a great job so far. You only
>    have to look at last week's bombing of the UN building in Iraq (which
>    killed 23 people including the UN's top envoy in Iraq, Sergio Vieira
>    de Mello) to see what kind of progress we're making. With surprising
>    speed, the Pentagon rushed out the explanation that al Qaeda were
>    responsible for the bombing (see - we told you that al Qaeda was in
>    Iraq!!) - although recent news reports suggest that in fact the
>    bombing could have been an inside job pulled off by members of
>    Saddam's former security service. Meanwhile, on the same day as the UN
>    blast in Iraq a suicide bomber killed 18 people in Israel, whisking
>    Bush's largely symbolic road map out the window and blowing it onto
>    the shoulder. And where was Bush while all this was going on? Well,
>    during the recent blackout of the northeast Our Great Leader had to
>    tear himself away from a fundraiser to address the nation. This week
>    he was unfortunately in the middle of a round of golf, which he had to
>    abandon to take a phone call from Kofi Annan. Incidentally, Mr. Annan
>    immediately cut short his vacation to deal with the crisis. But
>    nothing was going to come between George W. Bush and his vacation,
>    which resumed shortly after the phone call. Ah, George must have
>    thought after hanging up and sinking into his easy chair, mission
>    accomplished.
>
>    3 Bill Janklow     Accident/Medical
>    Bill Janklow is the only congressman from (and former governor of)
>    South Dakota, and is what we like to think of as a "typical
>    Republican" - a conservative who tells people to do what he says, not
>    what he does. For example, speaking in favor of mandatory drug
>    sentencing in his 1999 State of the State address, he offered this
>    analogy: "Bill Janklow speeds when he drives - shouldn't but he does.
>    When he gets the ticket, he pays for it, but if someone told me I was
>    going to jail for two days for speeding, my driving habits would
>    change." Perhaps somebody should have told Bill Janklow that he was
>    going to jail for two days instead of simply fining him for 12
>    speeding tickets in 11 counties between 1990 and 1994. Because if his
>    driving habits had changed, he might not have been doing 75mph in a
>    55mph zone before he blew through a stop sign, hitting and killing a
>    motorcyclist last week. Sadly it's a bit late now. But perhaps the
>    possibility of a second-degree manslaughter charge will change Bill's
>    driving habits. After all, it's hard to speed when you're behind bars.
>
>    4 Fox News    Dumb Hypocrisy
>    "There are hard cases and there are easy cases," said the judge in the
>    Fox News Fair and Balanced case against Al Franken. "This is an easy
>    case. This case is wholly without merit, both factually and legally."
>    This appears to be the end for one of the most ridiculous lawsuits in
>    recent memory. (Why in the heck would a news organization be trying to
>    chip away at the first amendment? You decide.) Interestingly, we hear
>    that Fox News have recently been running ads on their network for
>    Hannity & Colmes, featuring Dennis Miller. The ads reportedly contain
>    the line, "It's Miller Time." So what's going on here? Was Fox News's
>    lawsuit really a principled defense of the trademark holder's sacred
>    rights? Or are they just a hypocritical right-wing propaganda outlet
>    that's full of shit? We report, you... oh, never mind.
>
>    5 Taco Bell    Dumb Excessive Spin
>    Just when you thought the recall situation in California couldn't get
>    any more ridiculous, here comes Taco Bell. Their latest scheme is to
>    encourage people to buy one of their food products and Taco Bell will
>    cast a "vote" on their website for the candidate which that food
>    product represents. Unfortunately Taco Bell's bias is showing. First
>    of all, they've only got three options in their promotion - Arnold
>    Schwarzenegger, Gray Davis, and, um, "one of the other 134
>    candidates." Ri-ight. Arnold's food product is the beef crunchy taco.
>    Got that? That's beef as in man-mountain, and crunchy as in hard
>    stuff. Gray Davis's food product is the chicken soft taco. That's
>    chicken as in, um, chicken, and soft as in, well, soft. Oh, and is
>    there any doubt that beef crunchy taco is Taco Bell's best-selling
>    item? Gee, I wonder what the results of their "election" will be. Not
>    that it really matters anyway - cast a Taco Bell vote for Gray Davis,
>    Arnold Schwarzenegger or any of the other 134 candidates and chances
>    are you'll spend the rest of the afternoon on the toilet.
>
>    6 Ted Nugent    Racism
>    Frivolous lawsuits seem to be the order of the day for wingnuts right
>    now. Following in the footsteps of Fox News comes Ted Nugent, famed
>    guitarist/hunter/conservative nutjob. The Nuge is suing the City of
>    Muskegon, MI, Mayor Stephen Warmington, City Manager Bryon Mazade and
>    Meridian Entertainment for canceling some concert or other that he was
>    supposed to be putting on. Boy, how the mighty have fallen. Anyway,
>    Nugent got his concert canceled because of comments he made on a radio
>    show back in May (see Idiots 109) - nothing major, he was just
>    explaining that the words "Jap," "Gook," and "Nigger" weren't
>    offensive. Unfortunately a lot of people found this, um, offensive,
>    and now it seems that The Nuge is having some difficulty getting a
>    gig. The particularly stupid thing about this lawsuit is that Nugent
>    is suing the City of Muskegon because they have "damaged his
>    reputation and career." No, no, no, Ted - that's what you did. And
>    that's why they canceled your show. Get it?
>
>    7 New York Port Authority     Homophobia
>    You'd think the New York Port Authority would have better things to do
>    than track down and persecute police officers who appear on television
>    shows. Unless of course the television show in question happens to
>    feature - gasp - gay men! Port Authority police officer John Verdi got
>    into a spot of hot water last week when he appeared on "Queer Eye for
>    the Straight Guy," and two of the cast surreptitiously tried on his
>    police uniform. This shocking abuse of police property was too much
>    for the Port Authority, and Verdi is now "under scrutiny" because,
>    according to the Washington Post, he "didn't get clearance to say he
>    was a police officer on television, and that he shouldn't have let a
>    civilian wear his uniform." Damn, Port Authority, how right you are! I
>    mean, isn't it obvious that the transgressions of this evil, evil man
>    could potentially lead to the downfall of western civilization?
>    Sheesh...
>
>    8 George W. Bush (again)    Fiscal Irresponsibility
>    In the wake of two enormous tax cuts which have so far failed to
>    stimulate the economy, George W. Bush has a splendid new economic plan
>    to fix the country's monetary woes. Can you guess what it is? That's
>    right - more tax cuts! "As we stand right now, I believe the tax
>    relief packages we have in place are doing their job. But I'm a
>    flexible person. I want to make sure that the conditions for economic
>    growth and vitality are strong," spake Dubya before heading off on yet
>    another round of golf. If George thinks the tax cuts are doing their
>    job, perhaps he should get off the damn golf course and go speak to
>    the millions of people around the country who don't have a job any
>    more because of his policies. Mind you, the good news is that the
>    latest Zogby poll has Our Great Leader teetering on the brink -
>    according to last week's poll a mere 52% now approve of Bush. Not only
>    that but only 45% think he deserves re-election (or election, as the
>    case may be) whereas 48% want someone new. So he'd better hurry up if
>    he wants to enact more fabulous economy-saving tax cuts before he gets
>    his ass kicked out the door in 2004.
>
>    9 Fox News (again)    Excessive Spin Partisanship
>    Drudge is reporting that Fox News has ordered a moratorium on
>    Schwarzenegger movie puns in the network's coverage of the California
>    recall election. According to a memo from Fox News senior vice
>    president John Moody, the effect of the puns "is often to belittle the
>    candidacy of the front-runner for one of the most important offices in
>    the U.S., and that's not fair and balanced. No more references to
>    'Conan,' 'Terminator,' and 'Kindergarten Cop' as shorthand for the
>    candidate." I guess the GOP whores at Fox realized that Arnold's
>    candidacy isn't the sure thing they've been making it out to be. The
>    groping Austrian Beefcake isn't a "novelty candidate" but a serious
>    candidate: "He is now undertaking a very serious mission and we want
>    people to be told all about it." Whoops! I guess their bias is
>    showing. I wonder if they'll be giving the same deference to the very
>    serious mission that the incumbent governor and lieutenant governor
>    are undertaking...
>
>    10 Arnold Schwarzenegger    Dumb Dumb
>           And finally, Arnold Schwarzenegger made a bold political
>    move last week by hiring top political advisor Sam Seaborn, former
>    deputy communications director to President Jed Bartlett. Despite
>    Seaborn's slightly tarnished reputation due to allegations of an
>    affair with a call girl, he is expected to bring a wealth of
>    experience to the Schwarzenegger campaign. An obviously confident
>    Schwarzenegger has already begun looking for potential political
>    appointees if he becomes governor, and is rumored to be interested in
>    tapping Captain Stubing to head the California Transportation
>    Commission, Roscoe P. Coltrane as Attorney General, and Quincy, M.E.
>    as chief of the Health and Human Services Agency. See you next week!
>
>    Linked cites verifying the aforementioned idiots can be found at:
>          http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/index.html
>   ______________________________________________________________________
>
>   "It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left
>   here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion
>   and their belief in "freedom," helped change America."
>                                       G 'Too Stupid to be President' W

You forgot the liberels and democritters $475 million
dollar federal deficit----thats the top one liberel idiot!!!!

U liberels are so biased against us conservatives,
thats because U know we R rite!!!!!!

Republicans ROCK!!! Liberels SOCK!!!!


The true TRUTH is ......

The ConservaTruth :-)/  (the smokes R on me)