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eye WEEKLY                                                  June 23 1994
Toronto's arts newspaper                          ...free every Thursday
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MEDIA HIT LIST                                            MEDIA HIT LIST

             O.J. BITES DOG -- TALES FROM THE SILLY SEASON

                                   by
                                GREG BOYD

1. FIRST DOWN AND GAOL TO GO

MEDIA BABYLON: Sporting enthusiast and bad actor O.J. Simpson accused
of hacking his estranged wife and a former Studs contestant to death
with an entrenching tool. O.J.'s last run energizes reality-TV fans
with tedious footage of Simpson holed up in a white Bronco, travelling
the highways of Los Angeles, turning what might be the last free act of
his life into a Ford product plug.

2. MAD FISH AND ENGLISHMEN

NO NEWS: Even at the start of the silly season, the old rule applies
that "Dog bites man" is not a story, but "Man bites dog" is. So the
season kicks off with the tale of a savage muskie (the freshwater
member of the pike family, not the decomposing pol) who takes several
small pieces out of a young girl while she splashes about in a lake
near Peterborough. On dry land, the first Rottweiler-savages-child
story of the season grabs a half-page in The Sun.

3. BUREAUCRAT SHOOTS COP

PUNISHMENT: The killing of a policeman in Toronto, allegedly by a man
who was supposed to have been deported for other crimes two years ago,
leads editorialists to brand immigration bleeding hearts as cop
killers.

4. CONRAD BLACK SPEAKS?

GOD: At the end of a letter rebutting the Catholic church's stand on
same-sex benefits, Sun editors snap back that "Relationships between
same-sex people are wrong according to God, not the Church." Columnist
Liz Braun notes in another section that the fact her editors have
direct access to the Almighty is news indeed.

5. WE SEEK THEM HERE, WE SEEK THEM THERE...

FAME GAMES: Media types turn the town upside down in their search for
the visiting Rolling Stones. This list can now reveal that Keith
Richards has been in our kitchen for the past week -- you're welcome to
come and get him, 'cause the vodka bill alone is liable to put us out
of business.

6. GROUND RULES

SPORTING LIVES: The World Cup begins and fans around the globe cheer on
their favorites -- except in Northern Ireland, where gunmen from the
Ulster Volunteer Force march into a pub in a Catholic neighborhood and
kill six.

7. TRADER'S GATE

RIOTS: Post-Stanley Cup riot post mortems in Vancouver indicate it's
all Peter Pocklington's fault.

8. VALUE ADDED

NEW KIDS: After promising to kill the GST, the Liberals announce that
they want to extend the loathed levy to all provincial sales taxes.
This old request for the provinces to harmonize their tax systems has
so far only been met by that bastion of federal support, Qu�bec.

9. YOU MEAN CELINE DION DOESN'T SHOP THERE?

GOOFS: Bespectacled Bay pitchman Bob Peter and the Hudson's Bay Company
are charged for misleading advertising.

10. SUSPECTED NO MORE

CIVICS: Attempts to clear suspected massacre masterminds out of a
Rwandan refugee camp in Tanzania go awry when 5,000 thugs take over and
chase relief workers away.


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