🚀 go-pugleaf

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eye WEEKLY                                                July 28 1994
Toronto's arts newspaper                      .....free every Thursday
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MEDIA HIT LIST                                          MEDIA HIT LIST

         FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS -- GOOD FENCES MAKE GOOD PODIUMS

                                  by
                               GREG BOYD


1/2 INTERNAL AFFAIRS

QUELELECTION: Liberal leader Daniel Johnson finally calls an election 
for Sept. 12. Fat Jacques Parizeau's strategists start around-the-
clock prayer vigil for more meddling by Preston Manning.

2/5 SHAKEDOWN

PAX AMERICANA: Israel's Yitzhak Rabin and Jordan's King Hussein  shake
hands under the approving eyes of Bill Clinton, ending  hostilities as
old as the state of Israel and introducing a new client  for American
military technology.

3/ DADDY DEAREST

CIVICS: Metro Councillor Mario Gentile found guilty of taking 
$170,000 in bribes from developer and professed father figure Lou 
Charles. The shameless Gentile returns to work, vowing to appeal 
and run again. Head Metro stooge and Bad Boy flunky Alan Tonks 
expresses sympathy, then hits Toronto City Council to argue against 
the referendum question for the fall ballot that would ask 
Torontonians whether we've had enough yet.

4/2 RICTUS FOR THE CAMERA

RWANDA: Camera conditions in Zairean refugee camps remain 
optimal while Rwandans obligingly continue dying of cholera on a 
medieval scale.

5/6 REASONABLY DUBIOUS

JUICE: The Simpson trial begins in earnest as the relaxed O.J. 
declares his innocence and opens a hotline for conspiracy theorists. 
A tabloid acquires stills from the movie O.J. just finished, in which 
he cuts someone's throat.

6/ DRAGNET

FISH STORY: Quebec trawlers arrive in Labrador waters to fish 
illegally for turbot, warning they'll attack any feds who interfere. 
Feds keep a wary watch, while hauling in two American boats caught 
fishing for scallops well outside the legal 200 mile limit. On the 
Rock, the arrest of a man who caught 35 cod for food turns into a 
public relations disaster.

7/ NICE TRY

POLITENESS: Italian bribery scandals resume after a parliamentary 
standoff over Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's attempt to weaken 
the powers of judges and investigators. To no one's surprise, the 
first arrest warrants issued after the failure of the bill are for 
officers of one of Berlusconi's web of interests.

8/ LARRY KING, ANTICHRIST

NO NEWS: Police in Tehran order owners of satellite dishes to 
remove them or face prosecution for importing western corruption.

9/ NEXT TIME TRY THE SCOTS

ENTHUSIASM: Filming of a battle scene for the latest Mel Gibson epic 
gets out of hand when hundreds of Irish army reservists are asked to 
reenact the Battle of Stirling (1297). Provided with wooden swords, 
axes and spears, the excitable Celts send 500 of their number to 
hospital in the ensuing melee. As a police official notes, "The Irish 
Reserve Army don't see much real action."

10/ FREE TURKEYS, INDEED

FAME GAMES: Honest Ed Mirvish celebrates his 80th birthday with a 
street party for 40,000 people who go home without Miss Saigon 
tickets.


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