🚀 go-pugleaf

"Godzilla Pimp" <GodzillaPimp@notme.net> wrote in message news:<N9yyb.29119$Rk5.3493@newsread1.news.atl.earthlink.net>...
> URBAN LAW 101
> 
> ADVENTURES WITH BLACK CLIENTS.
> 
> by Donald Williamson, Attorney
> 
> published in American Renaissance Vol. 14 No. 9 (September 2003)
> 
> I grew up in a suburb of a large northern city, and had no real contact with
> blacks until I became a lawyer. After I got my law degree I naively looked
> forward to a rewarding legal career. Little did I realize that 25 years
> later I would be a self-employed attorney doing domestic and civil
> litigation for a clientele that is overwhelmingly black. I didn't plan it
> that way. I just wanted to do a lot of work in the courtroom, and the best
> offer I got out of law school was with a small firm that specialized in
> bankruptcy. Most of its clients were black. Several years later, I set up an
> independent practice and many of my former clients came to me for domestic
> work.
> 
> Most people do not realize this, but outside the world of corporate or
> securities law, in any big city the legal profession is to a large degree
> fueled by the pathologies of blacks and other Third-World people. Of course,
> whites hire lawyers, but in any city, especially one with a good-sized black
> population, most of the people who need lawyers are black. In this respect,
> lawyers are like police officers or social workers - they rarely deal with
> ordinary white people. To a large degree, I became racially conscious
> because of my black clients, who eventually destroyed all my preconceived
> notions about race. My awakening did not come from one or even a few
> incidents, but from the accumulation of thousands upon thousands of small
> interactions.
> 
> My black clients eventually destroyed all my preconceived notions about
> race. Day after day my clients continue to amaze me. There is no racial
> education quite so thorough and convincing as spending time with blacks, and
> my clients are far from being the poorest and least competent blacks. They
> are not indigent criminals for whom I am a court-appointed lawyer. They are
> people who can afford (or think they can afford) a lawyer to get a divorce,
> contest a custody judgment, beat a traffic ticket, etc. Some are government
> employees who make $60 to $70 thousand a year, yet even this group is vastly
> different from whites.
> 
> THEY DON'T KNOW
> 
> One of the most striking things about my black clients is the things they do
> not know. Many blacks, for example, do not know their own telephone numbers.
> They may think they do but they don't, and the problem has gotten worse with
> the proliferation of cell phones. At least a third of the numbers they leave
> with my receptionist or on my answering machine are wrong numbers. Often, a
> potential client will call several times, each time leaving a variation of
> the same phone number. I keep calling until they get it right. At first I
> thought I was taking down the numbers incorrectly, but now I know better.
> With caller ID, it is clear when what the client says does not match the
> digital display. Some callers don't even leave a number. About a quarter of
> the messages blacks leave do not include either a name or a number. Needless
> to say, many calls are not returned.
> 
> More than a handful of blacks who have come to my office do not even know
> their own home address (they move often). Many cannot tell me their own
> spouse's names. Now I know to tell clients ahead of time that they will need
> this sort of information when they come in. Otherwise, if I ask for
> someone's address he may look hurt and say, "If I'd known you were going to
> ask me that I would have come prepared."
> 
> Many black men know their children's names but do not know how to spell
> them. With the proliferation of unusual names among blacks, I can only guess
> at how they are spelled. One client who told me he couldn't spell his
> children's names said I would need an encyclopedia to look them up. Many men
> have admitted to me they are not even sure how to pronounce their children's
> names. Black woman, on the other hand, often become incensed if you
> mispronounce the very unusual names they have given their children.
> 
> The most unusual name I ever came across was Iisszzttadda. I have never met
> a person, white or black, who could pronounce it correctly. To my surprise
> the name is pronounced, "I seize the day." Iisszzttadda had siblings named
> Raheem, Utopian, Desiorme, Sid-Timothy, Kizzma, and Larilaril. I have
> occasionally asked clients the reasons for such unusual names, but the most
> common answer is "I don't know. It just sounded good." This is the answer I
> got from a mother who named her child Latrine. (See sidebar for actual names
> of blacks I have encountered in my practice.) I once had a client in my
> office who did not know his own name. He had been called by his nickname for
> so long he couldn't remember his given name. This is not as shocking as it
> sounds. Some black names, like Phe-anjoy or Quithreaun or JyesahJhnai, are
> so odd, it would be no surprise if they were never used and eventually
> forgotten.
> 
> Some Names of Blacks Encountered in My Practice
> 
> Aaja (pronounced Asia), Acacia, Ajeenah, Akai, Aquanita, Aryan White,
> Baleria, Barbertha, Callie (pronounced Kelly), CaAndi, Chetiqua, Cloteal,
> Curly Top, Darhies, Dayphine, Debrasharme, Derecio, Dertiteriesa, Dikueria
> and Dikuria (twins), Dildree, Dishon, Dovanna, Duanita, Dyiamond, Dwendolyn,
> Effillyne, Elizabeth Taylor, Endrissa, Equandolyn, Esaw, Everage, Floyce,
> Franshawn, Ghia, Godzilla Pimp, Ivier, Jartavious, JyesahJhnai, Keithen,
> Kentnilla, Lafondra, La,poo (yes, contains comma), Latronia, Lemonjello and
> Orangejello (twins), L'Tonya, Machoda, Nau-Quia, Mayima, Minute, Miquel,
> Nethel, Omnipotence, Ondra (pronounced Andre, Ozro, Padraic, Pecola,
> Phe-anjoy, Precious Unique, Queen Esther, Quithreaun, Rincesetta, Sanja,
> Saranus, Shanieja, Sharicus, Shiquipa, SiJourna'i, Silquia, Sinetra, Summer
> Love, Termicka, Tequilla, Timphanie, Tryphenia, Tywana, Tzaddi and Tzavvi
> (twins), Ulheric, Undlia, Undrea (pronounced Andre), Wsam, Xiomara, XL, Yaw,
> Yuvodka Sharice, Wilida, Zaquan, Zufan, Zyneene.
> 
> Since appointments mean so little to my clients, I decide each day when I am
> available, and tell everyone to show up at the same time. Names are not the
> only things blacks do not know. Once when I was filling out a form for a
> female client I asked if she knew how old her husband was. She told me she
> didn't know. I asked her the next question on the form, which was her
> husband's birth date. Amazingly, she knew it - and was genuinely surprised
> when I told her she could figure out her husband's age from his birth date.
> 
> When potential clients call for the first time, often the hardest part is to
> figure out why they are calling. Usually they begin in the middle of the
> story. If you let them, they will go on and on, and say nothing. Clients may
> call about papers they got in the mail, but never have the papers in front
> of them. They may call for information, but never have a pen or pencil ready
> to take it down. I have learned to ask direct questions: "What is your
> name?" "What is the problem?" If a client cannot tell me in three minutes or
> less what the problem is, I tell him to come to my office and bring a small
> retainer fee. That way at least I will have to listen to their ramblings
> only if they are prepared to pay.
> 
> Blacks with whom I have already spoken seem to think I should know instantly
> who they are when they telephone. After I get on the line, a typical
> conversation may go like this:
> 
> "Who am I speaking to?"
> "I am your client."
> "I have many clients, can you tell me which one?"
> "I am your divorce client."
> "Can you tell me your name?"
> "Rufus."
> "Rufus, can you tell me your last name?"
> 
> The conversation may go on for some time before I finally figure out who is
> calling.
> 
> I do not take personal injury or product liability cases, but blacks are
> always asking about bringing suits of this kind: "My vacuum cleaner broke.
> Can you help me?"
> 
> Most of my clients who are not black either show up on time for appointments
> or call if they must reschedule. Amazing as this may seem, only about five
> percent of my black clients show up on time, and by that I mean within an
> hour of the appointed time. Only one in five show up on the appointed day. A
> few trickle in a day or two later. Most just never show up. Missing an
> appointment never embarrasses black people. They call repeatedly for new
> appointments, making four, five or even six appointments and then miss them
> all. I had one client who called more than 50 times before he finally came
> to my office. Rarely do I ever get a call from a black client canceling an
> appointment.
> 
> When I first started out as a lawyer I would call clients in advance to
> remind them of their appointments. They thanked me, but it made them no more
> likely to show up. Also, I used to call clients and potential clients who
> missed appointments, and try to have them reschedule. This did very little
> good. The most common response was, "Why are you calling me?" and it was
> never their fault that they didn't show up. They had many different excuses,
> but I never heard, "I forgot," or "I'm sorry I didn't make it."
> 
> Since appointments mean so little to my clients, I decide each day when I am
> available, and tell everyone to show up at the same time. On Saturday
> afternoons I can have as many as twenty appointments for the same time.
> Usually it is not a problem because few show up and even fewer show up on
> time. Only once in the last 20 years did everyone show up.
> 
> Many of my clients are unable to explain even the most basic facts. Often
> they must take the witness stand, and no matter how many times we have gone
> over the testimony in advance, I can be surprised by what they say. Some are
> simply lying and get tangled up in their lies, but most have such low IQs,
> they cannot describe even the simplest things. Often they seem to say the
> first thing that pops into their heads. When they are questioned further
> they cannot remember what they said previously.
> 
> I once had a client whose wife was suing him for child support. In
> discussions before trial he told me he had two children from a previous
> marriage. This was favorable for him because it meant he would probably owe
> his current wife less money. At trial, his wife testified that my client had
> no children outside of their marriage. When I asked him on the stand how
> many children he had before he married his current wife, he said he had
> none. Later I asked him why he had answered that way, when he told me before
> that he had two other children. "Did I say that?" he asked. I never found
> out which version was true.
> 
> Many of my clients have a hard time following simple directions. Once I
> appeared in traffic court with a client. In lieu of a conviction he was to
> see a traffic safety movie. The courtroom was on the second floor of the
> courthouse, and the traffic safety movie was shown on the first floor. The
> client was to come back to the courtroom with proof - which would be given
> him on the firsfloor - that he watched the movie. Both the judge and I
> explained this to the client. At the designated hour my client did not come
> back to the courtroom. Later that afternoon I got a call from the judge, who
> told me my client had completely misunderstood the instructions. He went to
> the nearest commercial movie house, saw a movie, and brought back his movie
> ticket stub.
> 
> Long ago I stopped asking my clients why they did something. It is not worth
> the effort. Most don't know. The ones who know usually cannot give a
> coherent answer. Even if they can give a coherent answer, it usually changes
> every time you ask.
> 
> For example, one of my black divorce clients tried to hide assets from his
> spouse - this is not uncommon. Through discovery it came to light that he
> had secretly bought a piece of property after the divorce had begun. He put
> his wife's name on the title, a very odd thing to do, since he was trying to
> hide the property from her. I made the mistake of asking him why he did
> that. True to my previous experiences, he could not give an answer that made
> sense.
> 
> Clients sometimes tell me they knew they were being cheated, but signed the
> papers anyway. I have given up asking why they signed, because I know I will
> not get an intelligible answer.
> 
> My clients make mistakes in written and spoken English that are often
> comical. One client in a criminal case told me he was telling the truth, and
> was willing to take a "polyester test" to prove it. Another told me he
> desperately wanted to see me, and needed an appointment "between Tuesday and
> Wednesday." One who bounced a check told me the problem was "insignificant
> funds" in his account. I have had clients who have "profiteering" plans at
> work, want an "uncontestable" divorce (or a "detested" divorce, or an
> "untested" divorce), had "insects" (incest) in the family, need an
> "annoyment" (annulment), want a free "flirtation" (consultation), ask about
> my "container" (retainer), want to "consultate" about a divorce, or had to
> meet with "media people" (mediation counselors). One man told me, "I own a
> car but it is not mine," and one who was accused of indecent exposure
> insisted, "I didn't take my stuff out of my pants."
> 
> It took me some time to understand certain kinds of black slang. Within the
> first month of my independent practice a man called to ask if I could "put a
> suitcase on a cat." After much inquiry I realized he wanted to know if I
> could file a law suit against someone. Within the week I got another call
> asking if I "did luggage." Since I now knew about suitcases, I said yes, I
> do luggage. I pride myself on doing good work for my clients, but I cannot
> remember even once being thanked or complimented by a black client. They do
> not observe even the most common courtesies. Also, with rare exceptions,
> blacks will never admit they made a mistake. When things go wrong, as they
> inevitably do, it is always someone else's fault. The most common excuse
> blacks give is, "They are putting me through the changes." I have yet to
> figure out exactly what that means.
> 
> Most people tell lies because they think a lie will help them. I have come
> to the conclusion that most of my clients cannot distinguish between a
> plausible lie and a wild fairy tale. They are convinced people will believe
> anything they say. Clients often tell me some fantastic story I cannot
> possibly defend in court. If I tell them what they are saying is
> unbelievable the usual reaction is anger and screaming. Typically, they will
> add, "I'm paying you. You have to believe what I say."
> 
> One client was willing to take a "polyester test" to prove he was telling
> the truth. Sometimes, despite my warnings, clients will get on the stand and
> tell obvious, outright lies. The judge may interrupt the testimony and tell
> me to go outside with my client to "get your story straight." They are not
> going to sit in court and listen to fairy tales. I take my client outside
> and tell him he has got to tell the truth, or at least say something
> believable. My client then starts screaming. "Why are you talking to me this
> way? You're supposed to be on my side."
> 
> I once had a client testify about his assets in a divorce case, in which the
> court was to determine whether he should pay his estranged wife temporary
> support. My client was a store-front preacher, and testified that he lived
> in the marital residence with his wife, though in separate quarters. His
> wife testified that he was out living with his "ho." My client went on and
> on about how this was impossible because he was a Man of God. I thought he
> was lying. The judge ruled that if my client was living with his wife he
> should share household expenses, which he was not currently paying. At this
> point, my client realized there was a cost to pretending to be a Man of God
> living with his lawful wife, and changed his tune. "Judge why are you
> believing me?" he said. "Believe my wife. I am nothing but an old lying
> nigger." No one in the courtroom could stop laughing.
> 
> OUTSIDE KIDS
> 
> "Outside kid" cases are one of my specialties. For those not in the know,
> blacks call any child born out of wedlock an outside kid. Black men are good
> at making children but not at supporting them, and this can be a terrible
> burden under laws written with white people in mind.
> 
> In my state, the parent who does not have custody - almost always the
> father - pays a percentage of net income to the parent with custody - almost
> always the mother. The mother gets 20 percent of the father's net income for
> the first child, 25 percent for two children, and up to 50 percent for five
> or more children. What if a man has children by several women? Each mother
> gets 20 percent for the first child, so a man with five children by five
> different women is supposed to be paying 100 percent of his income in child
> support. I once had a client who had 12 different children by 10 different
> women. Theoretically, he owed 250 percent of his income. These laws simply
> don't make sense for blacks. Judges have to decide each case as best they
> can.
> 
> Not surprisingly, the average black client will not pay child support unless
> it is deducted from his paycheck. Many refuse to work, or leave a job to
> avoid paying. Job turnover is very high among blacks, and the court system
> has a hard time keeping up with them. Some blacks quit on purpose, and move
> to another job so as to keep one step ahead of the collections.
> 
> Whenever I ask a potential client whether he has paid court-ordered child
> support he will almost invariably answer with one or more of the following:
> "I always helps my kids." "I gives the mother money whenever she asks." "I
> am always there for my kids." "I buys my kids whatever they needs." It
> almost always turns out they have paid no support, haven't seen their
> children in years, and at best may have paid for some basketball shoes.
> 
> Children do not always seem to have the same importance for blacks that they
> do for whites. I was in bankruptcy court once waiting for my client's case
> to be called. A black debtor - not my client - was before the judge trying
> to convince him to approve his bankruptcy repayment plan. The judge told him
> he could not afford both his Cadillac and his children, and had to give up
> one or the other. The debtor immediately said he could not give up his car,
> and therefore the judge would have to take his kids. The judge threw up his
> hands and walked off the bench. On another occasion, the same bankruptcy
> judge told a black debtor he could not afford both his Cadillac and his
> house. The debtor replied, "You can live in your car but you can't drive
> your house. Take my house." This was many years ago and tastes in cars may
> have changed, but I learned how important Cadillacs were to blacks.
> 
> In one respect my job is very different from that of a policeman or social
> worker: I have to make sure I am paid. I try to get paid in full before I
> agree to represent a client. If I am not paid in full before the case is
> over I know I will never get any more money. Clients have a hard time
> understanding they are paying for an attorney's time. Invariably, if a
> client drops a case before it is over he asks for a full refund. Their
> reasoning goes something like this: "I paid for a divorce and I didn't get
> one, so I should get all my money back."
> 
> Once I sued a client who didn't pay me.I finally garnished his wages and was
> paid in full. About six months later he called to ask me to take his next
> case. I told him I didn't want a client that doesn't pay his bills. He
> became indignant. He said I got all my money, so what did I have to complain
> about.
> 
> To hear my clients tell it, banks are constantly "messing" with their
> checking accounts. At least that is what they tell me when their checks
> bounce. Most of my clients do not have checking accounts, and pay cash. The
> ones who do have accounts have no idea how much money is in them. Many
> clients have written me checks on accounts that were closed.
> 
> Black clients yell and scream at me every day; I have learned that this is
> normal. They are like young children who don't get their way. I usually
> ignore these outbursts, though screaming back at them is usually more
> effective. I have been threatened with physical violence only twice, and
> once I had to call the police to escort a client out of my office.
> 
> My experience is hardly unique. Most of the lawyers I know have practices
> similar to mine. Most lawyers therefore are racial realists even if they do
> not admit it openly. Their actions and comments are no different from mine.
> People who have daily contact with minorities, who know first-hand that
> there are racial differences, are likely to be the best prospects for any
> movement that promotes racial consciousness. They don't like dealing with
> blacks, but that is simply part of the business. If they can't take it
> anymore they get into some other line of work.
> 
> One lawyer I know moved to the country so he would have white clients. He
> had lived in the big city all his life, but was willing to pull up all his
> roots to get a different clientele.
> 
> Recently the supreme court in my state ruled that a lawyer can be
> disciplined for communications that racially denigrate litigants. For that
> reason I cannot write this article under my own name, much as I would like
> to. I must hide behind a pseudonym for fear of falling victim to our
> politically-correct supreme court.
> 
> Donald Williamson practices law in the Midwest.

But dey bees Gawds chillen.

Charles