🚀 go-pugleaf

Ken McKinney wrote:
> 
> (Katy qualifies her previous statements re: cars, houses, and datability)
> 
> OK Katy,
> 
> I'm sorry that I overreacted to your earlier post -- I agree that
> different
> people "plateau" at different levels of maturity, and understand why
> you want to date someone with a maturity level comparable to your own.
> 
> Just out of curiosity, what factors do you associate with maturity in
> men?
> I mean, I have my own ideas, but it would be interesting to hear yours.
> 
> Ken

It's getting so hard to figure out just where your reply should be 
dropped in, so, just jump in and worry about the pirranah later.  We all 
have these triggers that make certain people stand out in a crowd to us. 
 And they are all individual tastes.  When asked, "what is the first 
thing you notice about a person?" or "what initially (before you 
even talk to him/her) attracts you to a person?" we all usually have a 
few things that are completely superficial -- hair color, size/shape, 
the sound of a laugh, the motion, etc.  I once followed a guy off my 
commuter train (not even my stop and I was already late) just because of 
his cologne, and he was completely not someone I really wanted to even 
meet, he just smelled so good.  So, what Katy (I think she is the one 
who mentioned BMW's) said about what might attract a woman's attention 
was just mentioning some of the myriad of stuff women might "upon first 
impression" (which we all know is not always the truest) judge a man.  
Of course, when he turns out to be a jerk, his cars and houses and stuff 
mean nothing.  Personally, since I don't drive (so the rest of you can 
continue to live) anyone with any kind of car that runs is just fine 
with me.  I know enough people with really raggedy cars (the seats are 
almost no better than just the bear steel frames, there is no longer any 
upholstery on the ceiling, you can sometimes ses the road whizzing by 
under your feet as you sit there, windows don't work...) that get me 
around to see things just fine and that's all that matters.  Well, good 
conversation while traveling is always good too.  And heat on a cold 
day, good brakes, good steering (ok, there's a lot of things that count 
but you know what I mean).  Houses?  I own my own place so I know what 
trouble it is and I know enough folks who prefer to rent and avoid all 
this money drain business, they put their money someplace else and I 
sometimes envy them (because, now that I own this thing, I kind of have 
to continue to own something similar or else pay a heavy tax bill and my 
goal in life is to try to keep as much money out of government hands as 
possible since they don't utilize money well at all).  I have a good 
male friend who owns his house, owns a nice yuppie car, has a 
professional (in the tradition sense) job, and is basically society's 
idea of ideal, but he can't find a mate (probably because he's looking 
for someone who can't ever be).  Everything he has looks like no one 
lives there but is a lovely picture out of GQ or something -- no 
fingerprints on anything, no shoes tossed under a chair, no "what am I 
suppose to do with this?" mail stacked on a table, no dishes in the sink 
(no food in the frig).  I almost feel like I shouldn't track my 
invisible footprints through his house when I visit -- but I do, just 
out of a sort of duty to mess things up (chaos is good).  He's a nice, 
nice, nice guy (really, I have had far too many experiences with rats 
and snakes and evil and know the difference).  Just is always going to 
have trouble accepting the filth and untidiness of real life.  So, what 
Katy said cannot be interpreted as "the definitive" anything and I'm 
real sure Katy didn't mean it as the onliest criteria, or even the most 
important -- for simplicity, she just put out there *one* set of 
judgment values that sometimes affect how we pick our people.  And you 
know we all have our own, so don't get on her case without first 
examining your own.  Cha-cha-cha.