🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <DrGArq.L33@world.std.com>,
John Cooley <jcooley@world.std.com> wrote:
>John Cooley <jcooley@world.std.com> wrote:
>>I have an aquaintance (more like a friend of a friend) who I've known for
>>the past three years whose name I'll say is "Barb".  Barb has been going out
>>with Ben for over 9 years and desperately wants to marry him.  He said no
>>because of a mix of reasons plus the fact he wanted her to lose some weight.
>>Barb was kind of bullshit about the whole thing so started to try dating
>>other men.  She has a fairly good job, her own condo, but she was 5'6"
>>and wore size 22 clothes.  She couldn't get any guys to date her.  Over
>>about 6 months she lost about 30 lbs and plateaued at size 18.  For the 
>>past 1 1/2 years she's been doing everything to get a steady
>>boyfriend -- stuff like paying big bucks to answer personal ads and
>>joining dating services.  And every weekend the friend of a friend tells
>>me how poor Barb had a great date with some new guy -- but they *never*
>>call her back for a second date.  Barb's even joined one of those pricey
>>dating services where it worked out to $120.00 per date -- and she still
>>can't get a second date!
>
>Robert Becker <robertb@world.std.com> wrote:
>>Wrong again, sir.  I married someone that size.  We are no longer
>>married, but her size has nothing to do with the divorce.  There are
>>lots of men who like big women.  I happen to know two, besides myself,
>>who either dated for a respectable period of time or married big
>>women.  You just don't happen to know any.
>>
>>Our approaches are clearly quite different.  When I'm looking, I find
>>plenty of dates with women of all sizes.  Size doesn't matter very
>>much to me, you see.  Brains and personality do.  And, just in case
>>you want to ask, yes, these women *do* get second dates.  And third
>>and fourth and fifth if we find we have something to talk about.
>
>
>Robert, what do you do for a living?  How old are you?   I'm asking because
>I may be able to set up a date between you & "Barb".  (You seemed to have
>made a great deal about how you don't care about a woman's weight here.  I
>don't know if this is some sort of Internet persona you're using in hopes
>of attracting dates by showing how sensitive & caring you are (there are
>guys who try this) or the real you.  If you really don't care about a woman's
>weight, perhaps you should go out with Barb.  It would be good for her and
>evidently good for you.....   Do you live near Boston or what?)

In another thread, Steve wrote that it was outrageous that I flamed
you.  After a couple days of thinking, I think he is right about that.
I apologize.  The topic of weight and dating is important.

At another time I might be interested in dating.  Unfortunately, right
now I'm not.  My willingness to date has nothing to do with being put
on the spot; it has everything to do with getting over a divorce and
trying to build myself a future.

On the other hand, I have no problem meeting people socially in
groups.  When the next singles gathering is posted, let her know when
and where it is.

On the weight issue, though, it's more important to me *why* the
person is overweight.  Eating habits are some of the hardest to break,
so becomming overweight might be a matter of not being as active as
one used to be, or simply a matter of enjoying food a lot.  It could
be stress related, or it could also just be that person's metabolism.

Sometimes being large is a sign of personality disorder (eating
compulsively), and that's the only situation that really concerns me.

					Robert
-- 
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Robert Becker                                      robertb@world.std.com
Erstwhile bicyclist, avid father, longtime breather