🚀 go-pugleaf

I'm including more than I usually do so people can follow this:

On 29 Apr 1996, Alex Osinski wrote:

> I have been doing some research on this and run into some statistics that 
> show a serious difference in views of casual sex among men and women. 
> 
> One study cited by Playboy magazine showed an average of 60% of men are 
> generally open to casual sex while only 3-5% of women are.  Seymore 
> Fisher's extencive text entitled _The female Orgasm_, yes orgasm, not 
> organism (1973 edition) shows women were not nearly as sexually 
> responsive as men in almost every experiment where men represented a 
> control variable.  Frequency of masturbation was considerably lower for 
> women than men.  Women also experienced lower levels of arousal to 
> almost every type of stimulous. On the other hand, those few women who 
> did experience high levels of arousal exerienced it more intensely than 
> men.  Women who did appear sexually responsive had significantly higher 
> intercourse rates. 
> 
> High intercourse rates were more consistent for women with observable 
> movement and expressive behavior indicative of arousal than appearance or 
> clothing.  So girls, you have to let us know if you want it.  The "third 
> date rule" is just a coping mechanism for a lack of other communicative 
> behavior.  I have had girlfriends who would not do it until well after 
> the tenth date (if at all) while my fondest memories are of girls who did 
> it the same day (or night) that I met them. Take a wild guess which ones 
> got the flowers. In the long run, it is the girls who communicate their 
> sexual needs to men who are more likely to have them satisfied.
> 
> So what is the conclusion? Most women are uptight, don't particularly 
> want sex, and are under-sexed because they are unresponsive to men.  The 
> presence or absence of commitment has little to do with sexuality.  You 
> can even play submissive if you want, but you will still have to 
> communicate that you are ready for, or want sex. 
> 
> Men who "enjoy" paying for sex most likely are not satisfied by the lack 
> of commitment as much as the very clear line of communication between 
> them and the prostitute.  The symbolic interaction of a business 
> transaction and clear communication that "satisfies" men who employ 
> prostitutes is more of an issue than "lack of commitment".  After all, 
> the man who employs a prostitute "commits" part of his income for a 
> temporary pleasure which in nearly all cases will require several hours 
> of work to pay for. 

I think this is a load of crap.

I personally know women who play the game for men because they KNOW they 
will get the financial rewards of doing so. This includes the "response" 
this guy's talking about. It also includes "doing it" (I assume he means 
having sexual relations) on the first date. They simply do not care in 
what manner they access the wallet, or whose wallet it is... And they are 
very good actresses. They're very lovey until they either drain the 
wallet, find a better one, or get bored. 

There are some women who are willing to have sex early in a relationship 
because they like sex. Some of these have responded to this thread. 

And there are some women who really enjoy sex, but with someone they care 
about and know better than you can know someone in a couple hours. Part 
of this is because it's possible for birth control methods (barring 
various permanent types) to fail, and because there are nasty diseases 
out there - maybe there's a small failure rate for condoms but I've run 
into one breaking and thank you ONE is more than enough! Part of this is 
because for some people the physical act of sex is intertwined in the 
emotional/spiritual part, or it's "just sex" and not lovemaking. And 
because some people require knowledge of the other person to get to the 
point of trust that preceeds relaxing enough to respond. 

Those of us who are not "responsive" on a first date might be VERY highly 
sexed once we have that emotional/spiritual connection and trust our 
partners. And once we teach them about foreplay. 

And I don't trust the polls in Playboy to judge sexual response of women
any more than I trust Ann Landers to judge whether what most of my friends
who are parents say about their parenthood. 

--L