🚀 go-pugleaf

Hi,

Just a very personal perspective and no implication that anyone should
agree as we all have different desires.

I just got married (again) last year before my 41st birthday to a woman
with a 4 year old son.  At my age, there are a lot less single women
without children. However, I did not even begin to feel like settling down
until I was 38 years old which is one thing that turned my adventurous
ex-wife off.

Not being a parent had personal advantages for me. I got to live oout many
of my life's dreams in my 20s and 30s, could travel and take on adventures
that led tooreign countries and all over the USA during my healthiest and
most restless years.

In my late 30s I finally started to unwind relax and mellow and really
began to shift from enjoying people for the activities we shared to
enjoying them more for their personality while socializing.  It began to
seem that I remembered people more for their emotional state than what we
did together.  Memories of personalities really seem to stand out more
than experience, so I want to enjoy people now more than experiences.

It is also much easier to be a dad now because I feeel that there aren't
any repressed dreams I regret not living.  However, my wife was a single
mom throughout her experience of being a mom and since her son was
unplanned she does not want anymore.  Though she is the first woman I have
ever knwn that I feel truly has such a good temperment that I would gladly
be the father of any more children.  However, her son is handicapped and
is quite a handful all by himself. She and I still want our own lives and
both as individuals and as a couple.  She and I have agreed mostly by her
desire that we don't want our life to revolve around raising children.  We
play with him and do family things, but having one's own life for our own
growth is very important and even though married we go on dates several
times a month and more than before we were married!

Being a couple alone together gives us the most pleasure.  Being a dad is
ok, but for me I am very glad I did not start in my 20s and am glad not to
be raising a large family, and commend those of you with the perseverance
to really do a good job of that!!

Steve

-- 
sir@srv.net (Steven Reiser)
Home Businesses: USANA and Save Now Enterprise
http://www.srv.net/~sir/reiser.html