🚀 go-pugleaf

robertb@world.std.com (Robert Becker) wrote:

>In article <4leqra$fda@d2.tufts.edu>,
>d.hoberman <hoberman@allegro.cs.tufts.edu> wrote:
>>Just to throw a spark of hope into a bleak thread:
>
>		[Cooley's remarks removed for brevity]
>
>>There *are* a lot of narcisstic people out there. always have been.
>
>*That* was never in doubt.
>
>			[snip]
>
>>but would you really want to stay in a marriage that makes you miserable?
>>I *do* think that a lot of people get married who 
>>shouldn't. They're just not ready yet. I'm ambivalent about marriage, for 
>>a whole host of reasons I won't go into here - but just loooking around, 
>>I see so many loveless marriages that it is scary. The few loving ones I 
>>see are a spark of hope. 
>>
>>The key is being willing to tough out hard times with the cooperation of 
>>your mate - but knowing when things aren't working and being able to let 
>>go. (and not just throwing up your hands at the first sign of trouble and 
>>saying 'I quit'!)
>
>This brings up an interesting point:  every marriage has its down
>periods.  How many of us hear about the good times a married couple
>has?  I submit the bad times get aired because the people in the marriage
>need to get their problems out.  The good times they don't share.
>
>What do you think?
>
>				Robert
>-- 
>--------------------------
>Robert Becker                                      robertb@world.std.com
>Erstwhile bicyclist, avid father, longtime breather

Oh, I could probably write a few books about this.....

The joke with John and I is that our first couple of years were utter
hell.  We had the absolute worst luck you could imagine. Got married.
Got pregnant. Miscarried. Got transferred to crappy east coast
location with few jobs for spouses (read: me). My brother died. I got
sick and almost died. Hospitalized and diagnosed with major illness
which plagues me to this day. Got pregnant. Miscarried. Got pregnant.
Miscarried. I spend 3 months somewhat out of touch with reality as we
know it (which is a nice way of saying I was completely mental). 

Ok, there is the first four years. Are you seeing a pattern?

But, in the last year and a half, John got out of the navy, we were
able to move back to where I grew up. Got pregnant. Had a baby <gasp>.
John got a great job (ok, this is not in order). Things have been
looking up.

We cannot stop yapping our jaws about how damned lucky we are to our
friends and family. My (single and hating it) sister threatens to
smack me when I talk about how lucky we are. His mom is real happy now
(she was real worried before).

I do agree that we complain a lot when things are bad as a release and
also for support. But, I think that quite a few people shout pretty
loud when things are good. 

	Tami