🚀 go-pugleaf

jcooley@world.std.com (John Cooley) wrote:
>
>Tim, you're right.  But that applies to getting to know every nook and
>cranny in a person's makeup -- 3 to 7 dates does give a guy a taste of
>how a woman views the world and whether her approach is compatiable
>with his.
>
>  - John

No offense, but I don't agree.  In my own experience, I find it takes 
far more than 3 to 7 dates to know even the fundamentals - the big,
important issues - not just the details.  Also, and no offense to
younger people, but the younger someone is, the less likely they are to
have fully integrated their values with their behavior.  Self image is
a construct, in part, of one's ability to act consitently with one's own
values.  This means it can be more difficult to understand someone well
if they, though no fault of their own but merely due to the natural
maturation process, don't even really understand themselves yet. If they
can't, how could I?  It simply means it takes even longer...

Becoming intensely involved with someone before knowing them well, and
especially when one or both parties have yet to mature to the extent that
they know and respect themselves well, can be a real obstacle to the
development of a lasting, stable relationship.

Sex has nothing to do with it.  In fact, it probably gets in the way,
confusing the issues with false loyalties, and mixed emotions.

tim