🚀 go-pugleaf

(note, I've taken a couple of the groups out of my header, as I get 
nastygrams from their mail generator if I include them. If someone was 
following this and can't read my reply... well, they may have more 
important things to do. The people who generate these messages think so, 
at any rate.)

John, et al...

This "hunt" thing is a problem *depending* on the spirit in which it is 
done. 

For example, I've gone to meat market type places and had drunk rude men
press close to me and grab. Or make comments that were totally out of
place for how long we'd known each other (which was no time at all). This
is a sort of "hunting" that is unpleasant. Perhaps some women enjoy it,
but I think those are the same sorts of women who are the source for blond
jokes etc. Or... they are desparate for any attention.  Or... they are
drunk themselves. Or... they simply like vastly different things than I 
or any of the women who I know like. 

Also, on a less drastic level, I've been approached by someone after
indicating I wasn't interested. This is not a problem the first couple
times when it is not serious, but after that it goes from annoying to
bothersome to, depending on the level of assertiveness, disconcerting as I
wonder if I'm going to be attacked next. I would bet that women who *have*
been attacked find this frightening far sooner than I do. 

On a "pleasant" level, if someone pays me attention, flirts, or whatever, 
and it is harmless and not serious, it's not a problem whether or not I'm 
interested. Some of this is my intuition as to whether or not I am safe. 
And then again, if I *am* interested (which means I do feel safe), it's 
great.

The word "safe" has come up many times here. This is very important. 
Women can do a lot to defend themselves but, unless we go through
extensive martial arts training, we're at a serious disadvantage. We
depend on our instincts and that the men we are with have honor. I dislike
situations where I feel unsafe. (YES I know life is not entirely safe and
you get nowhere wrapped in cotton. I'm talking about taking *appropriate*
risks an avoiding useless ones.) Sometimes this may be an overreaction,
and sometimes it's not. Women vary on what triggers them feeling unsafe.
The differing levels of predatory "hunter" behavior can do it. If I feel
like a tasty bit of meat and do not also feel like a valued human being, I
get wary. If I feel appreciated and liked, I will flirt or continue in
some way to interact with the other person. If I feel like I'm loved and
ALSO considered quite tasty... *grin* hang on and I'll find my fur 
mittens....

--Louise, supporting millions of greys