🚀 go-pugleaf

psm@cs.brown.edu (Phoebe Martone) writes:

>I have found Rhode Island to be a friendly place, which surprised me, as I was
>warned, coming from the west that it wouldn't be so friendly. It's been wonderful
>to me. The weather, as my son would say, "sucks" a lot of the time--but there
>are many beautiful places to see here.

  I'd agree totally---the people in RI are very friendly (I should know---when
I'm not in college, I live there).  Going to NY from RI was really painful,
let me tell you---people ignore you by default.

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psm@cs.brown.edu (Phoebe Martone) writes:

>I'm single. Since this is such a new group, and anything is possible at
this
>stage, let's get started and create something good.

>I am in my 40's, work at Brown University and go to school 3/4 time --
English/
>Secondary Education. I lived in California 28 years before coming here
and
>have 3 children there.

>I've noticed that here, as well as elsewhere, it is difficult for people
intheir
>30's and 40's and 50's (and upwards) to meet others of the opposite sex
without
>going to a place where people are awkward, defensive and nervous (dance
bars).
>I love to dance, but these places bring out the strangeness in people. As
many
>continue to point out, there are few alternatives. It would be good to
develop
>some alternatives.

>I have found Rhode Island to be a friendly place, which surprised me, as
I was
>warned, coming from the west that it wouldn't be so friendly. It's been
wonderful
>to me. The weather, as my son would say, "sucks" a lot of the time--but
there
>are many beautiful places to see here.

>I have good friends already and a great place to live, and I love school,
but
>it's a lot of pressure to go to work and school both.

>I'm not sure if I'm being off-the-mark, writing this note, but I don't
think so,
>as it is such a new group that anything can be possible.

>Phoebe


Phoebe,
   Yes, I have to agree that RI isn't all that bad. But what you mentioned
about meeting people is also a problem for those of us near 30 too! It
seems the bars, clubs etc. are all too plastic. 

And I have to disagree with your sons comments about the weather, it
doesn't suck 'some of the time', it sucks ALL the time. :)

Tony Pelliccio
n1mpq @ anomaly.sbs.risc.net
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In article <1993Jan26.140845.6834@cs.brown.edu> psm@cs.brown.edu (Phoebe Martone) writes:

   I've noticed that here, as well as elsewhere, it is difficult for
   people intheir 30's and 40's and 50's (and upwards) to meet others
   of the opposite sex without going to a place where people are
   awkward, defensive and nervous (dance bars).  I love to dance, but
   these places bring out the strangeness in people. As many continue
   to point out, there are few alternatives. It would be good to
   develop some alternatives.

I haven't tried this (I plan to) but I think a good way to meet people
is to take a class.  For example, a dance class.  You get to meet new
people, it isn't quite so awkward and if nothing goes right, you at
least learn a new skill.

I joined the Boston Ski and Sports Club which isn't so awkward
because, again, people are mainly there to participate in activities
and, oh yeah by the way you get to meet people.

There is a book called, "50 Ways to Find a Lover", which will change
the way you look at going to the Video Store.  Everytime you go out,
no matter what you are doing, you have an opportunity to meet people.
Even if you don't meet someone who interests you romantically, they
might know someone that would.

In article <1993Jan26.140845.6834@cs.brown.edu>, psm@cs.brown.edu (Phoebe Martone) writes:
> I'm single. Since this is such a new group, and anything is possible at this
> stage, let's get started and create something good.

Sounds good to me.

 
> I've noticed that here, as well as elsewhere, it is difficult for people
> in their
> 30's and 40's and 50's (and upwards) to meet others of the opposite sex without
> going to a place where people are awkward, defensive and nervous (dance bars).
> I love to dance, but these places bring out the strangeness in people. As many
> continue to point out, there are few alternatives. It would be good to develop
> some alternatives.

Personally, I much prefer pub style bars (that have decent background music
playing) to dance bars.  I find people there to be much friendlier and less
guarded which in turns makes for a very social atmosphere.  Other positive
aspects about going to a pub is that one does not have to get all gussied up,
and there is usually no cover charge.  The drawbacks of this is that the pubs
don't seem to draw a large number of available people.  They seem to draw
people who are escaping (sorta speak) from a SO for an evening, but then again
there are always exceptions to the rules.  As much as I like to dance (at times)
I'll stick to the pub atmosphere over the dance club anyday - there is just
something so phony/pretentious about meeting MOTAS (Members of the appropriate
sex) in a dance club (however going to a dance club on a date is fine now and
then).

Common interest groups can be fun, but may be difficult to fit into a busy
schedule, and if they start to feel like "group therapy" sessions that becomes
tiresome.

I agree the older one gets the more difficult it is to meet MOTAS but that
doesn't mean it is impossible...you have to keep trying.

Just my $.02 on the subject

Karen
kg@bbn.com