🚀 go-pugleaf

Aqua <reif_andrea@tandem.com> wrote:

>orlando4@ix.netcom.com (CHARLIE BARTA ) wrote:
>>
>> In <45tl3i$792@news.iadfw.net> "Scott C. McKissack"

>> >I agree, we tend to always be attracted to the same types, I suppose
>> >we could make a consious effort to change that trait, however it is
>> >difficult since it is so much easier to find the people you are
>> >naturally attrcted to, whether they are good for you or not.

>How does one make this conscious effort?  One way I have thought of is
>to give someone a chance who seems like a nice person with compatible
>values even though there's no initial fireworks.  The downside is that
>this can end mean leading the other person on.  In the effort to give it
>a chance to happen we end up giving the wrong signals but then I guess
>that's always a risk for both sides anyway.  I still feel really bad
>when my initial feeling of "no fireworks" turns out to be right and 
>I'm put in the position of hurting someone.  

Well, you can always try the friend approach...I found once that being
a friend to someone who doesn't initially cause fireworks is nice and
sometimes the fireworks develope later in the relationship...and you
haven't lost anything if it doesn't work...you just have a good
friend. 


>Also if what will the other person feel?  If you're
>honest about your flaws and don't try to show your bright side whoever
>you deal will assume that what zie sees is your bright side and that
>things will only get worse.  When I go out with someone I expect them
>to be showing their best, in a way it's flattering.  
>I suppose there's a balance between honesty and a genuine desire to 
>put your best foot forward.  You don't have to bring all the skeletons
>in your closet on the first date.  Unless it's the Halloween boink ;)
>  
>Aqua

Well, there is a limit to everything...being honest doesn't mean you
have to bore them with the details of every experience you've
ever had...but you do need to be honest about who you are and
what you are.
                                         Shirley