🚀 go-pugleaf

Aqua <reif_andrea@tandem.com> wrote:

> Can someone please define what is a head game.  Yeah, this is something
> we all know but who can actually define what it is?
> 
> Someone starting something with you and then changing zir mind?  Is this
> a head game or just a fact of life since you can't know what you will
> want tomorrow specificly when dealing with someone you don't know well.
> I suspect most talk about head games is from people who didn't get 
> zir way in some romantic situation.
> 
> This discussion would be more interesting if people would be more
> specific about the behaviour in question.
> 
> Aqua 

Another thought occurs to me about this head games question.  I've
socialized among diverse groups of people including different cultures,
subcultures, education/occupation levels, etc. and each different 
circle has different unspoken mores about various behaviours and what
is meant by them.  For instance in some circles I've traveled in, kissing
and physical affection (not sex) are thought of as enjoyable among friends
in a partying situation and not indicative of relationship and/or sexual
intentions.  In others kissing indicates wanting to be involved with
someone.  This holds with other forms of interaction too.  What is flirting
among one group is taken more seriously among another.  Since these
groups and mores are not defined, it's easy to understand how people
can be confused.  What means "I'm interested" among one group is 
mere friendliness among another.  For example men in many countries
hug their friends, so a man from one of those countries may hug his
American gay male friend who will then say the foreign man is playing
head games because he isn't interested in a sexual relationship.

Better communication would help but I don't think people will ever
spell everything out especially in the early stages and if they did
it would probably take a lot of the fun out of flirting.

Aqua