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PENCILS UP, YOU MAY BEGIN

Joel McNally, the Innocent Bystander -- The Milwaukee Journal 10/1/92

A midterm campaign examination on everything we have learned so far:

1. Which promise on taxes by George Bush do you find more persuasive?

   a.  His 1988 pledge:  "Read my lips.  No new taxes."
   b.  His new, improved 1992 pledge: "I am not going to do it again.
	Ever, ever."

2. Which action by a college student do you consider more important in
   determining how you will vote in 1992?

   a.  What Bill Clinton did to avoid getting drafted to fight in a
       war he opposed.
   b.  What Dan Quayle did to avoid getting drafted to fight in a war
       he supported.

3. In the Great Owl Debate of "jobs vs. environment" posed by the
   Bush campaign, which would you be more upset to wake up 
   tomorrow morning and find was gone?

   a.  Your job.
   b.  Your planet.

4. Which of the following would you be willing to bet your next
   paycheck that the vice president of the United States could 
   spell correctly?

   a.  Anti-disestablishmentarianism
   b.  Potato
   c.  Cat

5. What is your favorite family value?

   a.  The right to choose whether to have a family.
   b.  The right to enjoy "Murphy Brown."
   c.  The Grand Slam Special at Denny's

6. Which candidate has the most appeal among young voters?

   a.  Clinton, because he plays that hip musical instrument, 
       the saxophone.
   b.  Bush, because he talks in rap.
   c.  Al Gore, because he looks like Superman.
   d.  Quayle, because he looks like Jimmy Olsen.
   e.  Ross Perot, because he's an elf.

7. Bush says the election is about trust.  Which of the following
   would you trust Bush to do if elected to a second term?

   a.  Never to raise taxes again.  Ever.  Ever.
   b.  To select only the best-qualified Americans for important 
       jobs such as the vice presidency and the US Supreme Court.
   c.  Not to throw up on heads of state while visiting other
       nations.

8. During the sale of US missiles to Iran, the late Ronald Reagan 
   was napping through the presidency and Vice President Bush was 
   "out of the loop."  Write down your best guess as to who was 
   running the United States.

9. What is your primary concern about the US economy?

   a.  How to spend the big bonanza if Bush finally succeeds 
       in cutting capital gains taxes.
   b.  Whether US jobs are on a fast track or a slow track to 
       Mexico.
   c.  That there be one again.

10. What about Bush reminds you most of Harry Truman?

   a.  Nobody thinks he's going to win.
   b.  He likes to fish and recently rode on a train.
   c.  He's a dead man.