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Article #117

New Ending - Impure Mathematics

#117
From: downey
Date: Fri, 28 Aug 1992 14:53
26 lines
1580 bytes
It seems reason and downright outrage are not recognized by
Darryl (the original poster of "Impure Mathematics"), or others
who find the story "funny."  Here is a new ending which
results in a much more equitable and judicious disposition.

When Curly Pi attempted improper integration, Polly was so outraged
that she raised herself to the nth degree and pulled out a .357
magnum.  She then threatened to blow off Curly Pi's conic section
and relative spheres whereupon his full extrapolation shrivelled to
an infinitesimal imaginary number.  While keeping her exponents
applied to the trigger, Polly summoned the matrix police and
Curly Pi was brought up on charges of attempted improper integration
and sentenced to hard differentiation for infinity; where he
repeatedly became a zero, thus rendering him incapable of ever
attempting improper integration again.

More of the Story:  Attempted improper integration may result in
loss of conic section and relative spheres and definitely results
in loss of any degree of freedom.

Epilogue:  While Curly Pi served his time in infinity, he ran
into a few other zero's named Darryl, Fred, Scott & Johan,
among others, who had been sentenced for masquerading as
higher-order equations and grossly offending other members
of mathkind.
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Path: arc1-ca.pugleaf.net!sparky!uunet!dove!enh.nist.gov!downey
From: downey@enh.nist.gov
Newsgroups: sci.misc
Subject: New Ending - Impure Mathematics
Message-ID: <28AUG92.10534248@enh.nist.gov>
Date: 28 Aug 92 14:53:42 GMT
Sender: news@dove.nist.gov
Organization: NIST
Lines: 27