🚀 go-pugleaf

On 18 Apr 2004 21:55:54 -0700, anon5c6c@nyx.net (In Your Dreams) wrote:

In your dreams, learn how to f***ing post.  This is a political post and does not
belong in general newsgroups.

With over 30,000 newsgroups, I guess you're too stump stupid or lack some basic
netiquette skills to find national political forums,  i.e. alt.politics,
alt.politics.usa, talk.politics.misc, us.politics, alt.politics.democrats,
alt.politics.republicans, alt.bush.conspiracy

>The Top Ten Conservative Idiots (No. 152)
>   April 19, 2004
>   Turkey and Mustard Edition
>
>   So, did you see Bush on tee-vee last Tuesday? Four words: Worst. Press
>   Conference. Ever. His ridiculous performance earned him the top three
>   spots on this week's list. But that's not all. He and Cheney
>   collectively earned the number four slot for their massive tax
>   windfall they both received this year from the Tax Cut. (Must be nice
>   to have the power to stuff fat cash into your own pocket like that.)
>   Rounding out the list, we've got some familiar faces: John Ashcroft
>   (5) is blaming Bill Clinton for 9/11. Randall Terry (7) of Operation
>   Rescue has a gay kid. (Oh, the horror!) And Antonin Scalia (9) has
>   learned an important lesson. Enjoy...
>
>   1 George W. Bush dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
>   Millions of viewers tuned in to George W. Bush's primetime press
>   conference last Tuesday, and immediately tuned out again when they
>   realized that American Idol had been pre-empted. But those viewers
>   really should have "stayed the course," because they missed out on a
>   performance just as half-baked and devoid of talent, as hilarious and
>   yet downright sad, as any of American Idol's worst auditions. Think
>   William Hung in a suit - just as Hung has made a career out of
>   repeating "she bangs" over and over again until it ceases to be funny
>   and merely annoys the piss out of you, so George W. Bush continued to
>   drag out the same tired old platitudes last Tuesday night. Regardless
>   of the question being asked, Bush returned again and again to the safe
>   havens of "freedom," "terra," "war on terra," and even that old
>   stand-by, "weapons of mass destruction." What's your best prediction
>   on how long U.S. troops will have to be in Iraq? The Iraqis want
>   freedom. You said that the Iraqis would welcome us with sweets and
>   flowers - how do you explain to Americans how you got that so wrong?
>   Saddam Hussein used weapons of mass destruction against his own
>   people. Why are you and the vice president insisting on appearing
>   together before the 9-11 commission? I look forward to answering their
>   questions. Sorry George. America may not have voted yet, but you're in
>   the bottom three tonight.
>
>   2 George W. Bush dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
>   While George formed a lot of substanceless sentences from a lot of
>   substanceless words last Tuesday, it was what he didn't say that
>   proved to be quite telling. When asked the question, "You've looked
>   back before 9-11 for what mistakes might have been made. After 9-11,
>   what would your biggest mistake be, would you say, and what lessons
>   have you learned from it?" Bush clung to the podium, cast his eyes to
>   the heavens as if looking for divine inspiration, looked at his feet
>   for a while and shook his head, before finally blurting out, "You
>   know, I just - I'm sure something will pop into my head here" (for
>   video, visit this link, open it up in RealPlayer, and skip ahead to
>   50:58). The Worst President Ever then went on to explain that he was
>   having trouble "in the midst of this press conference, with all the
>   pressure of trying to come up with answer." Um, I hate to break it to
>   you, numbnuts, but you're the Commander-in-Chief of the United States
>   of America. And you can't even handle the pressure of a press
>   conference? I'm going to start calling you Jello W. Bush from now on.
>
>   3 Jello W. Bush dumb dumb dumb dumb lying
>   To be fair, there was one line that stuck out during Dubya's
>   incoherent blatherings at the press conference. Yes, he was talking
>   about weapons of mass destruction - again - but we can apparently now
>   add 50 tons of mustard gas in a turkey farm to all the VX, anthrax,
>   yellowcake and aluminum tubes. That's right - it wouldn't be a press
>   conference without Our Great Leader telling fibs about stockpiles of
>   WMDs. During his non-answer to the question "what's your biggest
>   mistake?" Bush started going on about how he still thinks that WMDs
>   will be found: "See, I'm of the belief that we'll find out the truth
>   on the weapons. That's why we sent up the independent commission. I
>   look forward to hearing the truth as to exactly where they are. They
>   could still be there. They could be hidden, like the 50 tons of
>   mustard gas in a turkey farm." Now, for those of you unfamiliar with
>   the 50 tons of mustard gas in a turkey farm story, here's the deal.
>   Bush was talking about Libya's voluntary disclosure of weapons earlier
>   this year, during which inspectors discovered - you guessed it - 50
>   tons of mustard gas in a turkey farm. Except... the day after the
>   press conference Scott McClellan had to clarify Bush's statement,
>   because apparently only 23.6 tons of mustard gas were found. Oh, and
>   the substance was actually found scattered across Libya, not at the
>   turkey farm. Um, in fact, there wasn't any mustard gas at the turkey
>   farm at all, just unfilled munitions. So technically Bush's statement
>   was correct, apart from the bit about "50 tons of mustard gas in a
>   turkey farm." You know, it's not surprising that Bush can't think of
>   any mistakes he's made since 9/11, considering that he DOESN'T HAVE A
>   BRAIN. 
>
>   4 Jello W. Bush and Dick Cheney greed
>   But that's enough about Bush's piss-poor press conference. Let's turn
>   our attention instead to tax cuts for the rich. It was revealed last
>   week that "President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney reaped tax
>   benefits last year from the cuts that they pushed through Congress,"
>   according to the Associated Press. Jello and Pickles paid a mere 28
>   percent of their adjusted gross income for 2003 compared to 31 percent
>   in 2002, while Crashcart and, uh, Lynne, paid a piddling 20 percent of
>   their $1.3 million income compared to 29 percent in 2002. So it's good
>   to know that Bush's tax cuts are going to help those who really need
>   it. A White House spokesperson said that the tax cuts have "had the
>   effect of spurring economic growth and creating jobs." Yeah, right.
>   With a bit of luck, Bush's elitist tax reform will have the same
>   effect on his job this year as it's had on the jobs of three million
>   of his fellow Americans since he came into office.
>
>   5 John Ashcroft covering your ass Clinton hating excessive spin
>   The Crisco Kid himself appeared before the 9/11 Commission last week
>   to explain why everything that the Bush administration did leading up
>   to September 11 was in fact the fault of the Clinton administration.
>   According to Ashcroft's version of the story, he "moved quickly" to
>   focus the nation on fighting terrorism as soon as he got into office,
>   which I guess would explain why former interim FBI director Thomas J.
>   Pickard testified before the Commission that Ashcroft specifically
>   asked not to be briefed about terrorism. I guess it would also explain
>   why Ashcroft testified that "We did not know an attack was coming,
>   because for nearly a decade our government had blinded itself to its
>   enemies," despite the fact that Condoleezza Rice already testified
>   that the Clinton plan was a good one, which is why she chose to keep
>   it in place and retain Richard Clarke. And I guess that it would also
>   explain why, according to the UK Guardian, on September 10, 2001
>   Ashcroft "sent a request for budget increases to the White House. It
>   covered 68 programs, none of them related to counter-terrorism." Oh,
>   and he "also sent a memorandum to his heads of departments, stating
>   his seven priorities. Counter-terrorism was not on the list." Oh yeah,
>   and let's not forget that he "turned down an FBI request for hundreds
>   more agents to be assigned to tracking terrorist threats." Damn you,
>   Bill Clinton and your terrorist-loving penis! Look what you made John
>   Ashcroft do!
>
>   6 Robert Owsiany just plain evil
>   Speaking of attorneys general, meet Robert Owsiany, former deputy
>   state attorney general from Pittsburgh. Owsiany - a Republican Party
>   activist - is somewhat infamous in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania,
>   where he served as the local GOP solicitor, because according to the
>   Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, "The GOP-dominated county Board of
>   Elections hired Owsiany to investigate allegations of absentee ballot
>   fraud in Kennedy between 1997 and 2002. His report alleged township
>   Democrats were involved in an organized effort to forge absentee
>   ballots in municipal primaries and elections...A federal probe was
>   initiated, but criminal charges have not been filed in the case.
>   County Treasurer John Weinstein and his father, Kennedy Treasurer
>   Melvin Weinstein, longtime Democratic Party power players, disputed
>   any wrongdoing and argued Owsiany's report was tainted. They contended
>   Owsiany was a 'hired gun for the Republican Party.'" But anyway,
>   that's all water under the bridge. Owsiany's got other things on his
>   plate at the moment, not least of which is the fact that he apparently
>   had to step down from his position last month "after the FBI seized
>   the hard drive of his office computer in a child pornography
>   investigation." Tsk, tsk.
>
>   7 Randall Terry homophobia homophobia
>   Is there anything more embarrassing for a militant
>   anti-abortion/anti-same-sex marriage activist and all round right-wing
>   nutcase than your son revealing that he is gay? That's what just
>   happened to Randall Terry, the former head of Operation Rescue. See,
>   Terry's son Jamiel wrote a recent article for Out magazine, and now
>   Terry is pissed. Apparently Jamiel, who Terry adopted when he was
>   eight years old, came out to his father two years ago, but making it
>   public has driven Terry bonkers. In a recent essay on right-wing
>   turd-outlet WorldNetDaily.com, he says that "Jamiel is incredibly
>   gifted. He is articulate and handsome. He sings like an angel, he
>   plays the piano, he's a great cook, and he's a great debater. He would
>   make a powerful lawyer and a formidable politician." Now, I have no
>   doubt that Jamiel is all those things and more, which is why it's
>   kinda confusing when Terry goes on to say, "My son is a young man in
>   crisis who needs intervention and therapy, not heady interviews with
>   CNN.... And Out magazine is despicable for their participation in a
>   sham and exploiting my son for their own political agenda." Uh, so
>   your 24-year-old son would make a great lawyer or politician, but he
>   also needs intervention and therapy and Out magazine is exploiting
>   him? What a load of crap. Three big cheers for Terry the Younger,
>   several hundred large boos for Terry the Elder.
>
>   8 Ben Nighthorse-Campbell dumb lying
>   Former Democrat-turned-traitor Sen. Ben Nighthorse-Campbell of
>   Colorado got into a spot of hot water last week when he made a crass
>   joke about the Coors Light twins. Campbell is retiring this year, and
>   beer magnate Pete Coors has indicated that he will run on the
>   Republican ticket to replace him. So Rocky Mountain News columnist
>   Mike Littwin decided to ask Campbell about one of the most important
>   issues of the upcoming campaign - what he thought of the Coors Light
>   twins. Littwin showed the Senator a picture of the twins and asked him
>   if he saw a problem with it. "Whoa, what the hell's the matter with
>   that?" Campbell replied. "Hey, what have you got in your pants?" Oh
>   my, what... gravitas. So Littwin dutifully reported the Senator's
>   comments in his column last week. But here's the funny thing: the day
>   after the column was published, Campbell claimed that he'd been set
>   up. "I didn't even say it. I had two of my staff right with me, and I
>   didn't even say it," he blustered. "But, it miraculously showed up in
>   print." Miraculously indeed. Good job Littwin had a tape of the
>   incident which the Rocky Mountain News decided to publish on their
>   website, along with a convenient transcript. Enjoy the show.
>
>   9 Antonin Scalia unconstitutional
>   And now, a follow-up on last week's story about Antonin Scalia having
>   one of his goons erase the tapes of two reporters who were recording a
>   recent speech he was giving at a Mississippi high school. Scalia wrote
>   an apology to both reporters, saying, "As I understand it from press
>   reports, a United States Marshal erased, or caused you to erase, the
>   tape recorder that you were using for the purpose of assuring the
>   accuracy of your press report. I imagine that is an upsetting and
>   indeed enraging experience..." According to the Associated Press,
>   "vowed he would make it clear in the future that recording his remarks
>   for the use of the print media would not be a problem." Said he, "I
>   have learned my lesson." Uh, hang on a second - isn't it a bit late
>   for a Supreme Court Justice to be learning lessons about the First
>   Amendment?
>
>   10 The U.S. Forest Service anti-environment anti-environment
>   anti-environment dumb
>   And finally, the U.S. Forest Service recently put out a brochure which
>   insists that more logging is imperative to prevent wildfires in the
>   Sierra Nevada. Want proof? The brochure contains six photos which
>   demonstrate how the "forests of the past" were in fact much sparser
>   than the forests of today. The photos - taken in 1909, 1948, 1958,
>   1968, 1979 and 1989 - show an open area of forest which, in each
>   picture, becomes filled with more and more trees and underbrush. The
>   pamphlet says, "Today's forests, dense with green, may seem beautiful,
>   but in fact are deadly... Our old-growth forests are choking with
>   brush, tinder-dry debris and dead trees which make the risk of
>   catastrophic fire high." There's just one tiny problem - it was
>   recently revealed that the 1909 photo used in the brochure was taken
>   after the area had been logged, so that would explain the large, open
>   area with hardly any trees or underbrush. Oh yes, and there's one
>   other minor detail they left out of the brochure - the 1909 photo was
>   taken in Montana, which is nowhere near the Sierra Nevada. In fact,
>   the photo originally appeared in a 1983 Forest Service research report
>   and was captioned "cleanup operations on the Lick Creek timber sale."
>   A Forest Service spokesperson said "Our goal here was to... increase
>   the clarity and understandability of our message. We needed to be
>   accurate but not necessarily precise to the 99th degree." Well all I
>   can say is thank goodness the Bush administration has made blatant
>   manipulation and outright distortion acceptable in today's society, or
>   someone would probably get into trouble for this. See you next week!
>
>   Linked cites verifying the aforementioned idiots can be found at:
>         http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/index.html            
>   ______________________________________________________________________
>
>   This is Bush's 33rd visit to his ranch since becoming president. He has
>   spent all or part of 233 days on his Texas ranch since taking office,
>   according to a tally by CBS News. Adding his 78 visits to Camp David
>   and his five visits to Kennebunkport, Maine, Bush has spent all or part  
>   of 500 days in office at one of his three retreats, or more than 40  
>   percent of his presidency...
>   _______________________________________________________________________