🚀 go-pugleaf

   after having it for three months, and not cleaning it even once, i
finally decided to take my car to the car wash.  i suppose all those 'wash
me's  smeared into the grime by children was what finally drove me to it.
or, possibly the cakes of mud around the tires just grew to large for me to
ignore them anymore. either way, i went.
   i drove ten miles to the cheapest car wash i could find.  and i did find it,
eventually.  so, i paid the attendant the $4.50 and went through the machine.
a few seconds and several gallons of water later, my car came out all shiny
and clean.
   next, came the inside.  candy bar wrappers, dead insects, and the mound of
cigarette butts and chewing gum that had accumulated in my ashtray were all
disposed of. i used the big vacuum at the carwash to get all the crumbs and
inidentifiable refuse off my carpets.
   pretty soon, i was finished. clean on the outside, clean on the inside.
with a sense of victory and extreme exhaustion, i returned the vacuum hose to
its place.
   as i walked back to my car, i felt something mushy beneath my feet, but
took little notice of it. i was too busy being happy about my nice clean car.
i took notice of what i had stepped in soon enough, though, because
immediately after exiting the carwash, i noticed a pungent odor eminating from
somewhere within the car. the odor was unmistakeably vomit, and when i looked
down on the floor, i realized where the smell was coming from.
   by this time, the vomit had soaked the floormats and was inescapable.
of course, i had to go to the cheapest car wash, which was the farthest from
my home. after twenty minutes of agony and several waves of nausea, i finally
arrived at home.
   the car sat for hours airing out. after that, i vowed never to have my car
washed again, no matter how filty it gets.  knowing my luck, i would probably
step in something even worse.

-jane

anybody want a slightly used floor mat?


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