🚀 go-pugleaf

Candy-Colored Clown wrote:
> 
>     He walks!  He talks!  He bites!  And, he wears white panties with
> a garter belt while attacking unsuspecting females!  He's 'MARVULA-THE
> KINKY VAMPIRE SPORTSCASTER!'  That's right!  Celebicide, Inc., the
> same people who brought you 'OUTER-SPACE FARRAH' and 'THE COMPLETE
> KATHIE LEE DISMEMBERMENT KIT' are proud to unleash this limited
> edition Marv Albert "fallen-from-grace" celebrity doll!  A towering
> 16-inch action figure complete with removable toupee, retractable
> incisors, a generous wardrobe of women's lingerie, whips, chains, a
> full Pulp Fiction-style "gimp" outfit, and a plethora of other
> sado-masochistic goodies, Marvula is one kinky dude!  Popular
> mild-mannered sportscaster by day and fiendishly psychotic
> sodomizer/vampire by night, Marvelous Marv will provide hours of
> entertainment for children and parents of all ages!  One female victim
> is included absolutely free with each purchase of a Marvula doll!
>     Uh-oh!  Here comes that attractive concierge to help Marvula with
> a "fax problem" in his hotel room. Yikes!  Marvula towers before here
> in a full state of "arousal," seductively clad in women's bikini
> briefs and a garter belt that you picked out yourself!  Watch out
> lady!  Those teeth are sharp!
>     The sight of a half-naked anatomically-correct Marvula with his
> toupee in the hands of a hysterical hotel employee will have Grandpa
> and the kids demanding an encore (as well as a vomit receptacle)!  The
> Marx Brothers would be envious!  Have Marvula demand the company of a
> man for a pleasure-heightening menage-a-trois!
>     "And Marv shoots for three from 'downtown' annnddd...YESSSSSSS!!!"
> 
>     "Hey Marv--no rimming!  Ooohhh!!! REJJJJECTED!"
>     Marvula is made of safe, non-toxic polyurethane and fortunately,
> is completely washable!  But, Marvula better be careful when he
> showers in prison--his fellow inmates don't take kindly to
> cross-dressing celebrity vampires!  A complete line of prison clothing
> and accessories will become available in the coming months!
>     Order Marvula today and receive, at absolutely no cost to you, a
> genuine DNA sample taken from the MAN himself!
>     Dial 1-800-BITE-HER!  Operators are standing by!
> 
> Celebicide--"When the star goes up, the shit comes down."
> 
>