🚀 go-pugleaf

RetroBBS NetNews Server

Inspired by RockSolid Light RIP Retro Guy

Article View: talk.bizarre
Article #17651

MAKE HIDEOUS AMOUNTS OF CASH BY MERELY BREATHING!!

#17651
From: Candy-Colored Clown
Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996 00:00
35 lines
2765 bytes
	Tired of all the hyped-up, phony get-rich-quick schemes?  Sick of scams,
con artists, illegal pyramid scenarios?  Well, then this message is
especially for you!  
	Many thousands of years ago, mankind invented an organized method of
trading and bartering whereby goods and services could be exchanged for
various standardized forms of currency.  The way this currency was
attained, whether it was furs, trinkets, land, or eventually money, was a
process known as 'earning.'  Eventually, the method of earning became known
as 'working.'  In order to 'work' and 'earn,' one must have what is known
as a 'job.'  
	Unfortunately, those who hold actual 'jobs' may be fooled into thinking
that annoying ads which scream slogans such as 'EARN THOUSANDS QUICKLY
WHILE YOU SLEEP!' can replace their current method of 'earning' money
because the false promises touted by such cyber-detritus never involve
actual 'work,' which is often tedious and unpleasant.  The slimy
perpetrators of these advertisements are known as 'vermin.'  The only
lifeforms who actually 'earn' money as a result of these advertisements are
the 'vermin' themselves.  	
	Sadly, ignoring the 'vermin' has failed to decrease their numbers.  In
fact, the legions of these 'vermin' seem to be growing like, well, vermin. 
So now it is time to declare war on these parasitical, vertebrae-free,
sub-hominids.  Every time you see one of their billboards cluttering up the
Usenet, respond to the ad.  Respond in great numbers.  Respond early and
often.  If their calling card is an 
e-mail address, send them gigabytes of love and gratitude.  If they have an
'800' number, call them repeatedly to tell them how much you appreciate
them caring enough about you to allow you the privilege of 'earning'
obscene amounts of money.
	Oh, and one more thing--don't quit your 'job.'

The preceding message was brought to you free of charge by--
 
"A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"--'Often imitated, never
duplicated, frequently masturbated.'
Technical Details
Message-ID: <01bbd123$8506da60$504fb7ce@breitt.interaccess.com>
Path: arc1-ca.pugleaf.net!unknown!not-for-mail

Show Full Headers
Complete Article Headers
X-Google-Language: ENGLISH,ASCII-7-bit
X-Google-Thread: 104d31,67dda2ce5a4ad7c4,start
X-Google-Attributes: gid104d31,public
X-Google-Thread: 106e75,67dda2ce5a4ad7c4,start
X-Google-Attributes: gid106e75,public
X-Google-Thread: 10ed7b,67dda2ce5a4ad7c4,start
X-Google-Attributes: gid10ed7b,public
X-Google-Thread: fd3c8,67dda2ce5a4ad7c4,start
X-Google-Attributes: gidfd3c8,public
From: "Candy-Colored Clown" <breitt@interaccess.com>
Subject: MAKE HIDEOUS AMOUNTS OF CASH BY MERELY BREATHING!!
Date: 1996/11/13
Message-ID: <01bbd123$8506da60$504fb7ce@breitt.interaccess.com>
X-Deja-AN: 196147285
organization: Institute For Ferret Mammography
newsgroups: talk.bizarre,chi.personals,alt.angst,alt.journalism.gonzo