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Article #17651MAKE HIDEOUS AMOUNTS OF CASH BY MERELY BREATHING!!
From: Candy-Colored Clown
Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996 00:00
Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996 00:00
35 lines
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2765 bytes
Tired of all the hyped-up, phony get-rich-quick schemes? Sick of scams, con artists, illegal pyramid scenarios? Well, then this message is especially for you! Many thousands of years ago, mankind invented an organized method of trading and bartering whereby goods and services could be exchanged for various standardized forms of currency. The way this currency was attained, whether it was furs, trinkets, land, or eventually money, was a process known as 'earning.' Eventually, the method of earning became known as 'working.' In order to 'work' and 'earn,' one must have what is known as a 'job.' Unfortunately, those who hold actual 'jobs' may be fooled into thinking that annoying ads which scream slogans such as 'EARN THOUSANDS QUICKLY WHILE YOU SLEEP!' can replace their current method of 'earning' money because the false promises touted by such cyber-detritus never involve actual 'work,' which is often tedious and unpleasant. The slimy perpetrators of these advertisements are known as 'vermin.' The only lifeforms who actually 'earn' money as a result of these advertisements are the 'vermin' themselves. Sadly, ignoring the 'vermin' has failed to decrease their numbers. In fact, the legions of these 'vermin' seem to be growing like, well, vermin. So now it is time to declare war on these parasitical, vertebrae-free, sub-hominids. Every time you see one of their billboards cluttering up the Usenet, respond to the ad. Respond in great numbers. Respond early and often. If their calling card is an e-mail address, send them gigabytes of love and gratitude. If they have an '800' number, call them repeatedly to tell them how much you appreciate them caring enough about you to allow you the privilege of 'earning' obscene amounts of money. Oh, and one more thing--don't quit your 'job.' The preceding message was brought to you free of charge by-- "A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"--'Often imitated, never duplicated, frequently masturbated.'
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X-Google-Language: ENGLISH,ASCII-7-bit X-Google-Thread: 104d31,67dda2ce5a4ad7c4,start X-Google-Attributes: gid104d31,public X-Google-Thread: 106e75,67dda2ce5a4ad7c4,start X-Google-Attributes: gid106e75,public X-Google-Thread: 10ed7b,67dda2ce5a4ad7c4,start X-Google-Attributes: gid10ed7b,public X-Google-Thread: fd3c8,67dda2ce5a4ad7c4,start X-Google-Attributes: gidfd3c8,public From: "Candy-Colored Clown" <breitt@interaccess.com> Subject: MAKE HIDEOUS AMOUNTS OF CASH BY MERELY BREATHING!! Date: 1996/11/13 Message-ID: <01bbd123$8506da60$504fb7ce@breitt.interaccess.com> X-Deja-AN: 196147285 organization: Institute For Ferret Mammography newsgroups: talk.bizarre,chi.personals,alt.angst,alt.journalism.gonzo