🚀 go-pugleaf

Candy-Colored Clown (breitt@interaccess.com) wrote:
: New!!  Teledildonics Inc. is proud to present the latest breakthrough in 
: Virtual Sexual Pleasure!  Introducing the CyberVulva 2000!! Fully 
: Windows 95 compatible and utilizing our patented Scroto-Mount (tm) 
: technology, we bring you the most stimulating, life-like arousal features yet! 
: There's no need for messy real-life encounters with actual women now that 
: CyberVulva is here!  Kit comes complete with installation software, cables, 
: and serial port adapter!  All you need is genitalia!  Attaches in seconds and 
: is fully adjustable!  Just jack in, and jack off!!  Act immediately and 
: receive absolutely free, our new book-"Masturbating By Modem."  Dial 
: 1-800-DIGI-ROD today!

: Teledildonics-"We put the WET back into Wetware!"

Hi, I called that number and a recording came on and said that it was a 
personal 800 number and I needed a password number.

Since I already am responding here, I thought you might be able to answer 
some questions for me.

1) I am VERY oral. Does it have a scent? Does it "cream"? These features 
would be essential for me to get an erection.  

2) You say it's adjustable. Well, how adjustable? During adolesence I had 
a hormone deficiency and my penis is only 2" long when erect. Will it 
work for me, too?

3) How about audio? The moaning and groaning would make me feel complete. 
Does it feature that?

4) I mentioned my hormone deficiency, another consequence of that, was 
that my testicles didn't descend. Will your Scroto-Mount technology work with
a nearly non-existent sac?

5) What about power supply? My Pocket Pussy's batteries go dead about 
half way through the magazine down at the newsstand.

I realize these questions may seem demanding or nit-picky, but, the fact 
that you fail to mention the price implies that "if you have to ask, you 
can't afford it". I just want to be sure this solution is right for me.

                           TIA

                             - mark





P.S. Does it smoke afterwards? Ambience is also very important to me.